i once spent a good hour one night on the site damn you autocorrect (some of them aren't so clean, so maybe don't click at work). it is a site devoted to hilarious mishaps that occur when your phone tries to correct your spelling by using a logarithm to guess what you really meant. it's actually really helpful a lot of the time when your pudgy fingers type "yout" instead of "your" and it fixes it for you. but other times it gets cocky and feisty and just inserts really off the wall suggestions instead.
something about accidentally typing and sending something other that what you intend KILLS me. that night, jesse found me in our room crying, seriously tears shooting out of my face, because i was laughing so hard.
my best auto-correct mishap was before i ever had a smartphone. i was using jesse's to text our friend and realtor and i was trying to say "that is so bizarre". i must have missed the right keys because the iphone decided that i meant, "that's so mozzarella." jesse and i still use mozzarella to mean bizarre thanks to that.
but my best ever spelling mishap actually comes from autocorrect's predecessor: spellchecker!
the year was 2007. i was still new at my job. back then, i worked for a lady. i worked in the office, but she worked from home, so we emailed a ton. she isn't what i would describe as nice. we arent talking "devil wears prada" or anything, but she was just all-business and pretty brusque.
so one day i was getting kind of hyper with my in-office buddies. then an email from my boss comes in thanking me for having done something for her. instead of saying "no problem," or, "you're welcome," like a normal employee/human, my reply was "sure enough."
but because i was so hyper that day, and because i am such a freak, i decided to write it with a little more flair. so i wrote:
i was accustomed to spellcheck popping up in outlook after i would hit "send" and wanting to correct stupid stuff, like "i's" that i hadn't capitalized, or leaving apostrophes out of contractions. so i always automatically just clicked "change spelling" and let it make its suggested changes and then it would finish sending automatically.
so that day after i fired off my cheery and compliant "sho' nuff!" the spell checker thing popped up twice and i just instinctively hit "change" twice. away it went.
then it hit me. i had intended to "misspell" those words because i was trying to talk all slang-y and informally. so what the hell had it thought i meant and changed them to?
with much interest and a little bit of fear, i went to my "sent items" folder and looked to see the email i had just sent my 42 year old female boss:
she had written me saying, "thanks for sending me that," and my answer was "show muff!" like, here's how you can really thank me!
i literally freaked out laughing with embarrassment and recoiled from my computer so hard that i sprained my neck. my office mates and i were in tears. i was sweating and so red-faced and could no longer turn my head.
i don't work for her anymore, but for her boss instead. somehow i did no get fired for sexual harassment.
jesse and i also use this little gem interchangeably with "no problem!' to this day.
there you have it. my best autocorrect ever. now please cough up some of yours. i need a good laugh today.