in defense of the selfie.

if you tend to think a selfie is always a self-centered, vain, self-indulgent way to fish for superficial compliments, this might make you reconsider. sometimes it's an act of bravery. 

if the lie you hear is "i'm fat/ugly/old/gross, and i don't want anyone to look at me," then posing and posting a selfie might not be arrogance, but rather having to faith to stand up to that lie.

at 31 years old and therefore in neither the middle-aged, nor the adolescent stage of my life, i still manage to feel all the insecurities and self-hate talk that ALL the women in this video express. there are times when i will not go to an event or out of the house because i feel so unworthy of being looked at. that is a disgusting lie, and even though i feel like i am more secure in myself than a lot of people, blammo, there i am believing it and letting it dictate my life.

the main stigma on selfies is probably that they are overused by, or somehow only FOR "beautiful" people (i mean the mainstream, magazine-y definition of beautiful here).  so when someone posts one, i will find myself going, "oh she must think she looks hot/cute in this pic!" so judgey by me. i'm sure there are plenty of instances where a selfie is posted to shame others, to produce jealousy, envy or lust or just to feel the temporary high of being wanted and affirmed by comments or likes or weird emoji rebuses.

but before we shame every girl who ever turned the camera around and go-go-gadgeted her arm to new lengths to capture a selfie, maybe we should consider that this selfie is of a scared little girl--whatever her age--daring to believing that her face was created by the same creator and with the same care and pride with which he painted every sunrise and hung the stars (and, unfortunately, in some cases with which he made ducks' faces, it would seem).

i tried to think of a way i could write this post without actually including a selfie of my own in it. there's just not!! not if i really want to choose to be brave. to declare my worth. to kick the liar in the gonads.

a dozen quips about my imperfections have been intentionally left out here.

ARG okay, nope NO NO NO i cant let it slide. was SO close to publishing this, but no. it's a matter of principle now.  that picture above isnt a selfie from today...i still wasnt feeling confident/brave enough for that. so i picked one i had (and liked) from a few weeks ago (taken possibly at the exact moment of conception if my memory, calendar, and knowledge of sperm speed serve me)! 

no, i dont HAVE to post a selfie every day, and no matter what i look like; HOWEVER, when i thought about those middle school girls in the video, those moms, and really about my girl, i just couldn't let THIS POST be one where i hid and put upwhat i judged as a prettier version of myself. no no no. 

minutes ago:

layla, if you're reading this: i'm worth being seen. and so are you!


third time 'round

hey, third pregnancy much?

11 weeks here. i feel like the morning sickness (evening death cloud) is just about over. it still sneaks up and has a little fit every now and then but it isnt the ever-present companion that makes everything in life fairly miserable that it was a few weeks ago.

the sickness stopped at 10 weeks with judah and at 14 with layla. i know that doesnt *really* mean anything according to doctors, but i do sort of believe the myth about girls causing more sickness than boys. i'm thinking boy. i dunno, i just feel like layla is my one and only little woman. i always pictured myself with lots/all boys, so having another one of those feels right. 

we considered for a brief moment NOT finding out what the gender was. then we got some self-awareness (hello, i am a control freak know it all...if theres info, i MUST know it!) and realized that would never work. i know its such a unique experience to hear ITS A BOY/GIRL! right at the apex of birth drama, and since we already have one of each the having clothes for either thing isnt an issue. despite that, we're just not the kind who can wait. for us, the birth will be its own huge amazing perfect day of getting to know this baby, so why not add another really exciting one where we get to know a leeeetle bit about him/her at 4/5 month pregnant to break up the wait a bit?

i can almost SWEAR i felt this baby move at 10 weeks. i know that is ridiculous to all experts, and even rationally thinking--a prune-sized baby being felt through a uterus? but i know what i felt! i remember exactly weird inner burble that is a tiny baby moving! yeah, yeah, you say, it's just gas. yall, come on now. if ANY mama intimately knows what gas feels like, it's this one, and this WASNT. this was a much more adorable BLORP than any gas bubble could ever hope to be.

i swear i gained ten pounds the moment i peed on that test. which is a bummer. looking 22 weeks pregnant at 11 isnt the funnest. but since the fat was CAUSED (at least in my head) by the pregnancy, i'm treating it as such and even if my gut isnt actually baby yet, you best believe i am stroking and patting it in public like it is. i figure there's a lime-size babe in there, plus enlarged uterus, a placenta and miscellaneous other swag, so they're pushing everything thats usually down there UP, which makes the fat have to go OUT. it's a baby chain reaction, therefore, yes i will walk around cradling my stomach fat like it's a treasured member of my family.

other fun things about a third pregnancy: commentary from the older kids! oh man. turns out they HAVE known the word "fat" all along, but have just never used it. until they decided to let it loose on me. and then there's layla asking EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. if its time for the baby to come out. if every one of her inquiries added an ounce to baby, we could have this kid up to birthweight in a week. 

both kids are sweet and ask to talk to the baby lots.  layla says, "when you come out i'm gonna dress you up like a puppy, and youll drink mommy's boobies." judah tend to say, "hey baby, are you sleeping?" cutting edge dialogue.

when we went for the ultrasound to see/hear the baby for the first time ever (aka to confirm ONLY ONE BABY), we had to bring the kids because of schedule and because of fun. it was another of my favorites: internal ultrasound(!) where i had to go bare from the waist down and judah managed to go "ew ew" in the nanosecond that i was undressed before getting under the sheet. freaking punk isnt the best for the old self esteem.

this isnt necessarily related to pregnancy, but in the same vein as above. the other night i was telling the kids we needed to take a bath. judah said, "are you going to get in with us?" because i sometimes do. i said, "no not tonight." and judah replied, "okay good. because i dont like your hairy bottom." and i almost died. i mooned him real quick and said, "excuse me my bottom is smoother than yours, are you thinking of your daddy?" and judah said, "no, on the other side. you know, your fur." resume death by mortification (and maybe a return trip here).

so yeah, i'm only taking baths with layla now. 

speaking of that girl: she was waaaaaaay to interested and touchy of the fuzzy little mits that covered the stirrups of the ultrasound table.  i tried to tell her that as a girl, she should inherently HATE these things.

that lil' number she's wearing is styled by daddy. the top is a 12-18 month sweater dress. the tights, per usual, have a gaping crotch rip, and the perfectly coordinating neon orange and gold sparkle flats make her feet smell so bad that i actually threw up when trapped in the car with them one time.

as for the ultrasound itself: word cannot express how nervous i was of having twins. i should have been weeping over the heartbeat or swooning at the first glimpse of my unborn child, but instead i was just like, "OKAY i have eyes on one bogey, are we all clear everywhere else? can i get a confirmation of just one single bogey!?!?!"

twins run in my family. though it's the only way, i will specify fraternal twins (identical twins do not run in your family, btw...its a totally chance occurrence and isnt genetic. so any running in the family means fraternal. pretty sure about that). the women in my family have a tendency to spit out two eggs in one month rather than just one and i was so so so scared that would be me. luckily, it seems as though my cousin took one for the this generation's team and will end up the only twin-mom. thanks, linds! better a hippie like you than an insane type-A like me.

once the technician assured me there was just one, it finally hit me that we were doing this thing again. this stupid, insane, miraculous, beautiful thing of growing a baby--OUR baby--and that it was already well underway inside of me. yeah, it was intense all over again. 

and then with no warning the heartbeat starts thumping through the speakers, just declaring: OH HEY IM ALIVE IN HERE! AND I'M YOURS! and it was love. 

i felt it a bit with layla, that weird quasi guilt that comes knowing you dont (and you'll never) pay as much attention to this baby, to this pregnancy as you did to your first because there's already a human or two on the outside for you to love and manage the needs and hissyfits of. it's not particularly unfair i guess (eldest child speaking!), because it's not like it could really be any other way, but this baby and the pregnancy are almost so easy to forget about (minus all the demonstrative public gut stroking) with all the blonde chaos raining down on us from all directions out here in among the air-breathing beings.

so even in that tiny, stirruped room with my oldest two crawling all over jesse and making crazy noises and being all sorts of distracting: one even brandishing a day old pizza crust; it was pretty to cool to see the attention and the awe that this little life commanded. everything just zeroed in on that black and white fuzzy picture and that bold PARRUMP of a heartbeat. 

it was a really cool reminder and picture of how cool it is to be created. to have had someone plan your tiny beginnings, jolt your heart to its first beat, to form your little arm and leg buds from way back before the foundations of the earth were set. i dont care if this is my 33rd baby, that always commands and attention and puts the praise right into my heart. i dont think i will be too distracted to love and be thoroughly knocked over with awe at this my third child. 


in which i'm a geek and a hypocrite.

by now you might know that i have some literary passions that are not readily apparent by looking at me. aka, i read super nerdy stuff and i love it. 

my parents always, ALWAYS gave me money if it was to be used for buying a book. this engendered in me from a very young age a love for reading (and for shopping!). my dad started out his career as an english teacher and is very hoity-toity about his vocabulary and the library that helped to bestow it upon him.

so imagine his indignation (SO RIGHTEOUS!) when i would almost unfailingly return to him at the barnes & noble register with a STAR WARS book in hand for him to buy me. full credit to him, he never said no. though he did--OFTEN-- say, "i swear, i have no idea where you got this part of your personality from." neither he nor my mom have ever been in any way interested in the sci-fi or fantasy epics that drew me in.

aside: i'll just save you some time here and connect the dots, yes, i DO in fact think this is because they arent my real parents and that i was delivered to them on a flying motorcycle by an english groundskeeper when i was but a very wee lass.

it started with STAR WARS: i saw the first films (the ONLY films a far as i am concerned...ep I-III can suck on a fat helping of MY righteous indignation) after much prodding from my cousin (i had initially accepted the parental brainwash that monsters and spaceships werent worth my time or the paper/film they were printed on) and fell head over heels in love. seriously, i was a good twelve years old and still pretty confident i could harness the force.

after those three movies came out, a bunch of writers got permission from George Lucas to take those characters and write all sorts of spinoff adventures. i have read about 150 of these books. there you go. secret shame/pride.

that's just a fraction...

STAR WARS was my gateway drug that first let me be okay with being a nerd, or at least letting that have a heavy slice of my library shelf space. since then i have become a passionate fan of Harry Potter, A Song of Ice and Fire (which you might know by a different name), Wheel of Time and other such series with dragons and warlocks capering about on their front covers. 

so that's how i'm a geek. loud and proud. but here's the hypocrite part:

like any fanboy nerd, i get a little nervous when one of "my" books or series' gets picked up to be made into a movie/show. i worry that they wont cast the right people, that they'll take liberties with the plot, and that people will start to believe the movie/TV version as the "real" thing rather than the ACTUAL REAL THING.

what makes me the most confounded and upset (righteously) is when someone declares themselves "a HUGE game of thrones fan," and then i ask, which book is your favorite and they say "oh i havent read any of the books, i just love the show." 

NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!! (seriously, by BP is going up just reading that sentence).

why, OH WHY!?!?! if you love the show/movie so much would you not want to go back and find every scrap of extra goodness involving these characters and these stories as you could?!? you know TV/movies cut out so much by necessity, so the books are just a wealth of BONUS experiences with these adventures you claim to love! READ, PEOPLE!!!

so there's me, sitting on the couch watching any harry potter movie or the game of thrones series and enjoying it, but --boy, oh boy you'd better believe-- calling out every, "that's not how it really happened" or "she would NEVER act that way in real life (meaning in the book)," and mourning for all the ignorants who are eating up these errors and inconsistencies as actual canon.

and now let me throw you a curveball. what is my favorite movie of all time? 

why, it's Sense and Sensibility. a lovely period drama (slash comedy) based on the classic novel by jane austen. my parents made me come along with them to see it in theaters when i was 13 and i understood maybe 40% of what was said and going on at the time but still managed to sob happy tears (and pretend not to because NEVER in front of my parents!) at the conclusion. (bonus: it's all english actors so imagine the entire hogwarts faculty transported to the 18th century! PS snape is HOT).

and oh, hey, guess what book i've never even considered reading? uh, yeah. my high horse just bucked me right out of the saddle!

so i get super high-horsey if you like Game of Thrones on HBO but havent read each book 5 times and dont also hit the fan message boards like me, but yeah, my favorite all time movie is based on a classic staple from english literature that i have never glanced twice at or considered actually reading myself.

pause for the full effect of my insanity and hypocrisy. 

but good news! before you can tackle me with your own dose of righteous indignation (deserved), let me tell you that i finally bought the book on friday and finished it within 48 hours (with a break in the middle because i just had to go back and watch the movie). it was wonderful. rich and deep and subtle and hilarious and so freaking moving and re-convicting that the Col. Brandons and Edwards will almost always make you happier than Willoughby's (every teenage girl need to be forced to watch and read this like 85 times before they are turned loose into the world of dating).

so i have successfully closed that one huge gap in my literary history and can climb back upon my high horse. lesson (re)learned: the book is almost always better than the movie. and even when it isnt (bc SEEING marianne and elinor IN the settings of gentrified england), you will learn SO much more about the characters you already love and their internal dialogues. 

do yall get nerd rage about anything? do you have a cherished book that you HATE the movie version of? do you want to unfriend me because i know that lightsabers are powered by corusca gems from the heart of the gas giant Yavin? or do you just have another nerd series that i must read?


Our IKEA Kids' Room Makeover: The Big Reveal

i'm beside myself (as in, like, having an out of body experience) to finally be able to invite you all into the kids room for a playdate and tour. obviously, no, you may not touch anything because the room will never look this good again, and who knows where those paws of yours have been, ya filthy animals.

doing this kids room makeover with IKEA was an absolute dream come true. they were my #1 pick in all the universe to work with and it actually happened!(that has never happened to me before except for in terms of marriage). 

IKEA was awesome. but full disclosure, if i am going to accurately tell the story of this room: my dream turned into a bit of a nightmare when i done went and got myself all pregnanted smack in the middle of it all. and so morning sickness threatened to turn the whole thing into a vomitorium instead of a children's sanctuary.

it happens to me every pregnancy: i will eat a food or a certain meal right at the onset of the sickness period. from then on, until the sickness has passed sometime near the 2nd trimester, any thoughts or reminders of that meal or that food become HARDCORE triggers of nausea. it's like the morning sickness (which is mostly afternoon/evening sickness for this gal) needs to clamp on and associate with a specific memory--and it is usually a memory of food.

well, in the grandest sense of really hateful irony, the "meal" that became strictly associated with miserable morning sickness this go-round was: IKEA. that's right, my most beloved store, apple of my eye and sponsor of this entire undertaking. anything to do with them and therefore the kids room in general became a no no for mi estómago. it was hilariously awful. just seeing the colors blue and yellow next to each other made me queasy. WHY, GOD, WHY?! (except maybe not really actually beseeching the heavens...perspective).

so this project was accomplished mostly guerilla-style. i would wait for a time when all was quiet on the GI front and then spring into action; working or shopping or planning, before my body realized i was knee-deep in barf-trigger. 

thankfully, the association started to weaken towards the very end of the makeover and i was able to fully enjoy and appreciate the magic of this fantasy-project.

so let's get biz-ay, in my hizzy huh? 

let's swing by BEFOREsville aka SNORESville (#winning) to see where the room was prior to the magic descending from on high. and to remind us where everything was when we first went ahead with the plan to combine the kids bedrooms and the playroom alllllll into one room of 110 square feet

*all AFTER photos are the work of Caroline Kilgore, the photo editor of Atlanta Magazine. she is a wizard princess.

BEFORE: this was the view upon walking into the room

BEFORE:and a straight on view of that same wall (oh that bookshelf makes me itch now! such blatant, showy disarray! THIS IS EGREGIOUS!)

and here is what thine eyes behold now. is there disarray on those shelves? maybe! but YOU'D NEVER KNOW IT and i sure as shoot aint telling (actually i probably will post about the inside of these units and how we maximize the space later on)

BEFORE: part of that same wall (opposite corner) and the kids built in bunk nook. (not pictured: how nasty the walls were by their beds from their little handprints and lord only knows what else...ebola.)


BEFORE: back towards the door (and pay no mind, that's just the moon collapsing on itself like a dying star. your tides shouldnt be affected).

unused no more! hidden art nook. huzzah

BEFORE: straight on view of the wall that the door opens against (oh the wasted vertical space. woe betide me!)

um yeah, thats one way to grab up that vaulted ceiling and make it do my bidding! and oh, how i bid.

BEFORE: ground level happenings on that same wall/corner

the new corner couch bench and toy storage juggernaut

so yeah. that's the basics of the room BEFORE/AFTER style wall by wall! i'm gonna hit on the biggest features of the room as they come in these next photos that give even more detail of exactly what all is going on. brace yourselves for commentary.

okay: the biggest investment, change, and HELP in this room were these white STUVA units. words cannot express how instrumental this system was. the individual units (each vertical rectangle pod) became wall to wall "built ins," an entertainment center to frame the TV, wardrobes for all of both kids' clothing, and storage for books, games, and other toys that arent constantly played with. a beautiful catch-all that fits perfectly, and keeps my darkest secrets (like that i dont throw out my daughter's leggings when she rips huge crotch holes in them).

each frame of cabinets is totally customizable with doors and two different-sized drawers. inside the doors you can also customize how many and what height shelves you want or you can opt for sliding wire baskets. and of course a clothes hanger bar will hold all your fancy clothing things (we have 7 fancies total..not counting crotch holes). you can browse all the options are in one place and they are all very affordable. in fact, it's IKEA, so everything is affordable. this entire wall's worth of cabinets, doors, drawers, inserts, and baskets was only $916 total. i just dont think you are beating that and having them look this good anywhere else, and i'm ready to fight you on that.

maximizing the vertical space of the two vaulted walls was important to me so there weren't these yucky boring gaps of empty just hovering (as were endemic in the BEFORE room). so we gathered tall and pretty toys and decor items to personalize the room and to stretch it and fill it and give it some spunk.

the mirror at the tip top was another height-filler. we also chose this to help with the light in the room. with only the one rectangular window already in the room, i would ideally add a round window where the mirror is for more light, but since that wasnt an option (because we are not oil barons), adding the mirror helps bounce the light around, adds some pretty way up high AND is fun for layla to check herself out in as she plays in the loft.

the lighting was another reason we went with mostly white on all the walls with one accent wall of blue (which i didnt realize until afterward was the exact same blue i painted over in our kitchen! i love it so much more in this room...but am amazed by my ability to pick the same color chip out of ten million twice). the white walls really do open up the space and make the light more vibrant and clean than the navy paint was ever doing.

a little DIY art installation. 

the DIY instructions on this are pretty self explanatory: wood blocks (michaels), a tube of mini animals, spray paint and heavy duty craft glue. i decided to use sticky velcro to put these on the wall in case i (or an OCD child) wants to rearrange the order. the options here are endless. my favorite it the martian from Toy Story that managed to sneak in.

pallet wood and bulldog clips quickly became a little artsy brag station for the kids

you'll notice we swapped out the nasty old carpet for laminate flooring. IKEA provided the flooring and we did the DIY (sadly they dont carry this same material any longer but i think they have some cool new options in stores). this made the room SO much classier and modern and less itchy and "ew, whats that stain?!"

a deep-pile comfy 5x7 rug provides the major play space in the middle of the room, which is wide open and available for maximum shenanigans.

the fold-away desk behind the door is a dining table meant for small kitchens. it stows and sets up so easily that both kids can do it by themselves. art supplies are within reach hanging from the kitchen utensil rack. 

i had a hard time once all the big stuff was in deciding on what "theme" i wanted the decor to be. i dont even like the word "theme" when talking about a room. i didnt want someone to be able to walk in and go, "oh this is a circus room" or something (well, for several reasons there). 

but i did want it to be cohesive, relative to my kids interests and something we adults wouldn't hate. in the end i settled on EXPLORE! as the kind of common thread. thus the moonwalk newspaper (that is legit from the AJC the day after it happened. i found it at my parents house...so cool!), the pirate ship cross stitch, the spy glass, and other such knick knacks encouraging the kids to  go and do and live and adventure!

i loved using the huge map as wallpaper and decor and learning tool. 

secret: we didnt paint behind there the map because of sneaky lazy. another thing i discovered about the map is that it isnt paper. it's made out of an almost fabric-like material and coated with a little bit of plastic so it's pretty indestructible. you can also write on it (even with sharpie! i tried) and it will wash right off (or rubbing alcohol off for the sharpie). i see educational opportunities ahead.

the step stool is painted only on the side frames and acts as the seat for the art desk and as as stool (duh) for reaching higher-up things around the room.

our DIY sectional!

figuring out a seating element for this room was TOUGH. the room really is small and every couch and chair i tried under the loft just dwarfed the entire space. so i got tricksy and channelled my inner IKEA designer who can do anything in like 6 square feet.

we took three of the TROFAST pine toy storage units and wedged them in the corner. then i got IKEA fabric and some foam to make bench seat cushions to go atop the L-shaped unit. presto, blammo, i'm calling it a sectional sofa and dont try to stop me.

seriously though, it's perfect and my most proud problem-solve of the entire room. not only is it perfect child-sized seating (that jesse and i actually both fit comfortably upon, FYI) but it is doing TRIPLE duty with all the bin storage underneath for much-played with toys AND as a play top surface for them to act out their weirdo kid games on with dolls and ninjas and whomever else.

almost all the throw cushions were DIY with IKEA fabric or were ready-made in their cushion section.

seriously yall, this room is so efficiently organized that there are EMPTY bins and drawers in places. that has NEVER occurred before in my house.

ok this little wooden shape was actually a part of  the packaging in shipment of stools we ordered last summer to go in the studio/office. it was such a cool shape that i held onto it. smart move since the compass figure was perfection for the explore room. a coat of red spraypaint and some sharpie'd love later and it's a priceless heirloom. i'm so upcycly!

bought it in soft blue, spray painted yellow.

someone lookup these coordinates. 

my favorite DIY project of the whole room. and the secret hidden theme, of course.

this one was just a stick (from god's nature) two packs of wood rounds from michaels (like $2) and a woodburning tool that i already had to write in the letters (after tracing them onto the wood in the pretty font this way). drilled holes and tied with twine and hung it far out of reach so it can remain pretty. 

oh baby. the loft.

first things first. judah still will not go up here. someone (ahem, looking at you, paul rudd) taught him the phrase "afraid of heights" and he is singing that little tune like a canary. this child is NOT afraid of heights and at 4 years old rocked some of the scarier and highest Disney roller coasters. but alas, he wont go up there and we arent forcing it.  so welcome to layla's personal reading/snuggle loft!

we sanded and stained the wood to make it more finished (though its a tad shinier than i had planned since we used a poly/stain combo, lemme tell ya). she's got ledges for pretty books, a comfy mattress pad, lots of pillows and a DIY'd dumbwaiter bucket to receive goodies from those of us on planet earth below. that little addition blew their little minds and they LOVE using it for good and evil.

we took down the way dated and ugly ceiling fan/light fixture and instead put up a huge sculptural pendant light (you can see it in the corner above) and two sets of track spotlights. the room is SO much better lit with these than with the 80's monster before (and the fan had stopped working anyway, so no loss there).

we will continue to not discuss the g\horrid stippled popcorn ceilings. i'm expecting IKEA to come up with a spray that completely flattens these in minutes. but until then: WE SAY NOTHING.

ya dumb ol' waiter.

the sleeping nook was way fun and easy to completely transform. it was also a great place in the room to let each kid have their very own unshared space and to decorate each bunk with just one child in mind. at first i looked into wallpaper, but that junk is EXPENSIVE, and adhesive like that makes me nervous...especially after being on the removal end of wallpaper, thanks a NOT our home's previous owners.

so i decided to try fabric as wall covering. i think the victorians did this all the time, so why not me too? i just cut out the correct size and shape, leaving a margin around the outside to neatly iron under the raw edges, and staple-gunned around the perimeter and into the corners. it worked shockingly well and took about an hour total for both sections, start to finish. 

i love that since it was so cheap and easy to install, we could completely change our the fabrics for a new look if we wanted a fresh new feel, or if one got ripped or stained.

reading lamps for each kid. (damn, should have painted the underside of the beds!)

and pictured here is the answer to the inevitable follow up question of "where will the new baby go?" (that's a j/k, we wont put it under there. the real answer is WE DONT KNOW OMG WE HAVE NO PLAN FOR THIS)

ok so thats the room. if there's anything i missed, or needs more details, fire away. i'd be happy to talk about this project all the live long day.

a huge thanks to IKEA for sponsoring this makeover and for partnering with me. and a very special smoochy thank you to my husband for being willing to take on any part of this project that i threw his way, and for making lots of concessions to his sick, irrational wife. XOXO and long live the Swedish Empire.


SOURCES LIST:  note- this is everything that i received from IKEA. since they are sponsoring this project and post i wont link directly to products that i found elsewhere, but if you ask me in the comments i will be happy to tell you where anything else came from.

simulated "built-ins: STUVA system (our combination of frames, doors, and inserts was a total of $916) // TV mount : UPPLEVA // mirror: STOCKHOLM  // TREES poster: BILD // frames: JALLVIK // track lighting CENTIGRAD // oversized pendant light: FILLSTA // rug: GASER // plant pot: SOCKER

 abacus: MULA

stool: BEKVAM // desktop: BJURSTA // storage bins & rail : GRUNDTAL // art supplies: MALA

lantern: MORKT // world map: PREMIAR // bin storage system: TROFAST (our combination $271) //
yellow circle fabric // GPS coordinates pillow: LISEL // wood cuts fabric // green fern fabric // map pillow: BENZY LAND // floral fabric // bench pad fabric: BLAVINGE

mattress top: SULTAN  // blanket: EIVOR //  book ledges: RIBBA

clock: BONDIS // judah's bedding: seems to be out of stock online // layla's bedding: STENKLOVER (really, swedish?)

reading lamp: RANARP