love and haiti

I got an email from godaddy.com informing me that i have a blog. who knew, huh? sorry about that FULL MONTH long absence. Before the nesting/doing/making/preparing hormone rush of pregnancy, for me there is always an anti-all-of-those-things rush where i am pretty solidly worthless. That's over now...maybe probably. 

In other news, my Jesse boo-thang has been across an ocean for 6 days now but is coming home TODAY (trumpet fanfare: today, TODAY!). He is in Haiti leading a mission trip from our church. I was supposed to go on the trip too, but I came down with an acute case of Vaginarium Pregnitis. I was vurrrry bummed because in addition to being an awesome chance to serve with our church, this trip would have landed me within 5 minutes of my internet BFF/hero/mentor (bc she's way older than me), Tara Livesay (read her...she's beyond dope), and her fam who are permanent missionaries in Port Au Prince, and whom I have been dying to do more than electronically-snuggle with for nigh on 4 years now (fun fact, i found them through CNN.com who quoted them and linked to their family blog right after the earthquake).

living the Livesay dream. specifically, MY livesay dream. you lucky, magnificent Adonis.

Jesse got to fulfill this my internet-crush-become-IRL-friends wish for the both of us, luckily. He immediately reported that Tara's husband Troy is total BFF material for him too, citing his ownership of an electric tennis racquet bug-zapper as reason #1 and Troy's excellent theology and personality as a distant #2 and 3. Boys are weird.

 using "find my iPhone" was a fun visual this week.

I've made it no secret that Jesse is the score of a century. Beyond being the most likable human being I have ever known and basically the person with a DNA sequence most perfectly attuned to make me gaga, he is the most devoted, involved and committed dad and husband my greedy paws could have ever itched for. So hear me when i say his absence is FELT when he is gone. 

As much as I have been fervently praying that Jesse and the team wouldnt contract the nasty Chikungunya virus that is running rampant through the Caribbean right now, I think he has been praying just as much for extra grace for me as i pregnantly solo-parent this week while not taking time off from my job (jobS if you count beach bag etsy sweat shop employee). 

Thankfully grace has abounded in a crazy way and so many of our local friends have stepped in to make this time easier for me with meals, playdates, pool usage, babysitting and general body-of-christness that reminds me how utterly drenched with community and loving humans our little family is.

during the VBS our team put on. great gosh, those smiles!

The contrast between the infrastructure of resources and people that came together to make our family's life easier while Jesse was gone has been humbling and stark compared to what Jesse has seen in Haiti and the communities he's visited, where it seems like there is no help to be found for people with much bigger, realer problems than being a one-parent household for a week. 

He has been broken by how hard everything seems for them, especially in comparison to how easy the same things are for us--through absolutely no difference in anything other than the circumstances, geography, cultures and economies we were born into.  It's incredibly unfair to our little brains and stirs up gratitude, guilt, compassion and anger all at once. After hearing lots of these stories, you're just like, "bump this, Jesus, can you just come back--like NOW--and unbreak this world and our hearts for good and ever?" 

But that's probably not going to be happening today, so we have to figure out, and be led to, what on earth he wants two boneheads like us to do with the abundance we have (materially and in Him) in situations where nothing makes sense and there aren't easy answers.

if i wasnt positive he was just being himself and doing what he loved i would accuse him of flagrant intent to cause panty-droppage.

being hardcore with a friend.

face time. not surprisingly, it was very choppy and pixellated and mostly not worth it...except you can see his face...which is always fantastic.  #mesojowly

Just a glimpse into my insane brain: the whole time Jesse has been gone i have worn a tiny heart necklace. I dont usually wear necklaces around the clock so its presence has been a constant reminder to pray for him and the team. Last night, i was turning it back around (kiss + wish! not really) and it broke! Curse you, F21 $2 craftsmanship!!! I immediately started panicking because clearly this was my Apollo 13 moment! You remember when, on the day of the launch, Tom Hanks' wife drops her wedding ring down the shower drain, which obviously foretold the whole "Houston, we have a problem" scenario. So i'm like, "I broke our love necklace! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?! for the love of everything, someone find me some tiny pliers!!!!" 

Jesse assures me that he, like Jim Lovell, will be just fine. Just to be safe, i DID acquire tiny pliers and the necklace is good as $2 new! I will have them check the FLANGES double twice though. (phoebs, anyone?)

if you know my BFF steph, who is our children's minister, you know that customs should check her luggage extra carefully because if anyone was going to smuggle 100 beautiful haitian orphans home in her bags, it would be her. Aint nobody loves a kiddo like our stephie.

In just a few hours, if you hear an ungodly screech coming from the general vicinity of the metro-Atlanta area, dont worry, it's just me spying my man as he emerges from immigration. No guarantees on my not shoving my kids down so that big mommy can get her hands on Jesse first. Sorry, chumps, you've got youth, perfect skin, and childlike wonder, but I've got preggo-hulk strength and a snarling rabidity for your papa. 

Stay classy, Hartsfield-Jackson International Terminal!