at a loss...for once

my spiritual gift of captions has deserted me.

i literally cannot think of anything for this fabulous moment that i snapped tonight:

any of you talented wordsmiths out there got some thought-sicles for how to caption this bad boy?

there might be something in it for the best submission. just saying.


sent by a giant

i know what judah's sunday school lesson was last week in his 3 & 4 year old class because i taught the exact same one to the 5 & 6 class.

so i was excited to ask him about what he had learned.

me: "judah, what did jesus do for us?" (the answers we were looking for were that he took away our sins and/or died on the cross for us.)

judah: " he gave us butterflies and sheep."

me: "okay. well, yes. yes, he did. touche."

me [approaching from a new angle]: "judah, jesus died for us because.....?"

judah: "because goliath sent him."

 breaking news: dead philistine giant sends nazarene messiah to give us butterflies and sheep. amen.


you can't pin 'em all

well, i guess you can pin them all, but my point (care of a lame pun) is that you cant WIN them all. all being, all the pins. that you have pinned. is this confusing?

here are 4 recent pins we have tried to bring to life in our house, with mixed results:

1. Baked Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken. the picture from the pin was golden and gorgeous, the ingredients simple, delicious and on-hand. i should have known that 1Tb of oil + 4 Tb of brown sugar do NOT make a sauce. they make a rub. a sad, dry rub that makes this meal look like it should be called "bubonic chicken."

jesse made this one night and followed the recipe exactly. i had made it another time (before this) and took the advice from a few commenters on the recipe and added sherry, butter and some more liquid things to make it more of a glaze/sauce and less of a blood-blister rash.

i cut the chicken into pieces at is was cooking so all sides would get really well coated with the sauce and then served it all over rice and it was really amazing. without the adaptations: inedible. AND the stupid scorched garlic somehow jumped onto my shirt the next morning (?!?!) and gave me a nice smelly stain all day.

sadly, jesse didnt know i had adapted the recipe and went to make it again and ended up with this. the dogs LOVED it.

2. "world's best chicken." the maker of this recipe named it that. pretty braggy. i am okay with braggy when you can back it up, but this was just rough looking. when i first read it i thought maple syrup + mustard was right on the line between intriguing and disgusting, and when i saw how it came out of the oven, it tumbled right into stomach churning territory.

the khaki monster is ALIVE!!!

again, this wasnt that bad over rice and i actually liked the sweet mustard flavor. but i HATE when i follow a recipe to a T and it ends up LOOKING like some monstrosity when the original is straight out of a magazine-worthy.

maybe my oven cooks too hot or something, but these are simple recipes with few ingredients and they are ending up WAY off the mark.

sad to say, this is not the world's best chicken of my heart. (in my opinion, this is. and it has NEVER failed.)

3. marshmallow caramel popcorn. i am not typically a big fan of mallow (though i ADORE that word and will always use it), but we happened to have some on hand when i saw this pin and impulse-keight took over. she is terrifying and must not be denied.

i mean, duh. it involves a stick of butter, a 1/2 of brown sugar, 10 mallows and stove popped popcorn. impossible to not be awesome.

it was amazing. so dangerously good that we are only allowed to eat it once per decade. and we definitely should have shared with more than just us two. oh the shame/pain/delight of this treat.

4. starting a campfire or firepit fire with charcoal in a cardboard egg carton. this worked great. we put it in our firepit and went to town. bonus: it was something that judah could totally do himself and feel like a mac daddy.

we roasted the mallow, avoided the sting of judah's brandished coat hanger-firebrands as he got a little whippy, and had a cozy evening.

of course, judah didnt get that the point of setting the marshmallows on fire was to EAT them afterwards. turns out he doesnt like mallow too much and i had to force him (!) to even take one bite. i bet depression-era children would have traded a day's factory wages for one marshmallow and be talking about the wonder of it for weeks after. what's wrong with this generation?

poor child.

so a bit of a mixed bag for pinterest lately. those are the breaks. dont believe everything you see on the internet. unless of course it was forwarded to you from a chain that has been unbroken since the time of the pharaohs. in that case, you should probably definitely sit up, pay attention, and give the send the last 4 of your social.



the floor installer men finished on friday faster than i would have believed possible and jesse sent me these cell phone pics of the after beauty:

not even believing the improvement

these make me wanna shoop

just beyond.

i knew there would be a lot of brown going on in the room once the floors were down, but i didnt realize just HOW overwhelming the color would be.

the khaki monster was eating us, just like its cookie namesake might devour an oatmeal raisin treat.

so in true keight fashion (impulsive, getting in over my head, etc), just based on the first cell pics of the room, i went out and snagged 5 paint samples before i even got home to see the camel-lama-ding-dong scenario in person.

rest assured that all of my choices were firmly in the COOL and BRIGHT color palate because we are so ready to bust out of the warm, flesh toned womb that our color scheme had rendered our living room:

if you say, "hey, 5 whites!" I WILL DIE. these are all very different colors. dont you dare call these white. we have oyster, palladian, tsunami sky, harbor and crystalline.

tsunami sky won (its a super light gray...making 5 out of 7 of the rooms in our house a gray color!) and we got started that night at 11 pm after coming home from a party (because, we have terrible judgement).

in progress.

we got 70% of the room done that night before i almost passed out from the fumes (which led to me taking a snack break outside and accidentally plowing an entire bag of snap pea crisps. the fumes made me do it!!!)

we rallied on sunday night and knocked that baby OUT:

again....call this white and i will FIGHT YOU. just look at the trim or doors to see the contrast between white and tsnami sky, fools!

we definitely need to refresh the trim with some new bright white glossy; it's gotten so dingy over the years and sharpening it up will make the wall color pop all the more.

and then we will also want an area rug to anchor the furniture a little bit, add some softness, and break up the huge section of bare floor.

this cant happen soon enough for jesse. check out the text he sent me as soon as the kids played on the floors for the first time:

raising children is pretty much as terrifying as being in jurassic park.

also, per my note above, the beloved couch is on its way out (not layla. she is never leaving my loving clutches). we went to rooms to go on thursday night after judah revenge-peed on this couch during a tantrum. we tried to salvage it, but when we opened the cushion, the stuffing pretty much disintegrated in the daylight like a vampire. we thought it would be a good time to invest in a nice new sofa that goes with the new color scheme (and has a nice fold-out bed for guests!).

we never would have bought the plaid couches, because its not really our style, but my parents gave them to us when we got married. besides being free, they were ultra-comfy and faithful to us over the years. they had been with my family forEVER. i have distinct memories of sitting on them years before i ever shaved my legs...so that's some indication.

the colors in the couches were what made us paint the walls such a warm color back in 2008, so it makes sense that going to a cool color would mean they dont work anymore. and their flagrant clashing right now is further proof that it was time for a change.

so we honor the plaid's faithful service and wish it the best (likely this means incineration) as we welcome in the new, neutral blood of the wunderkind couch arriving later this week.

we will have to do some more utilization of the vertical space now that i have (at least temporarily) removed the shelves and all their horrifying worthless tchotchkes, but i want to go slow here and make sure we love whatever it is. beautiful or useful things, only.

here's the full impact of the turnaround:

i am falling hard for this room now. but, i'm not crazy. this is a huge improvement...no?

thank you SO much mom and daddddddddd!



back in april, on a whim, jesse and i got a free quote on what it would cost to rip up our carpeting in the living room and hallway and put down wood floors.

they did the measure and gave us the numbers. at that time, it was just not financially feasible or wise to undertake that kind of project/investment. we put it in our "one day when we're rich" file. (oh, what a file that is! so much caviar and diamonds)

fast forward to the end of may. after judah's epic birthday party, my parents came over to my house for a visit. that next week my dad texted me (an event in itself!) and asked if jesse and i would like to consider getting new floors in the house as our bday/anniversary/christmas present from them this year (and for future years as well, depending on cost).

we hadnt mentioned to them that we had researched this before, so my first comment was, "oh my gosh, dad, HOW did yall know?!?!"

followed swiftly by, "oh wait, you've been in our house. thats how you knew."

you see, he knew we needed new floors because he had been in the house and had been witness to this:

i'm not sure if the cell camera captures the horror.

what we have now is an amalgam of disgusting textures, colors, smells, and heights above sea level (aka: our carpet has speed bumps). it is velcro for all kinds of toddler funk and crumbs. it's essentially the same consistency and pleasing-ness of sasquatch's pubes.

when we bought the house the previous owner had just installed brand new carpet. sadly, this turned out to be bottom of the line garbage that was just put in to help sell the house and not so much to, say, BE WALKED ON EVER.

before we even had kids, the carpet was impossible to keep looking good and standing up straight. it was constantly getting matted down, no matter how we vacuumed (we even bought a dyson to try to cure this!).

on top of that, from day one the carpet never felt nice. if i am working on a big sewing project (pantsless, of course) and i have to sit on the carpet for extended periods of time, my legs feel like i have been sitting on sandpaper and are all irritated. (sasquatch might have crabs, guys).

so the carpeting had major issues pre-kids, but when those little boogers got mobile, a whole new mess of crap just let loose into the fibers of our being carpet.

we tried to make it go the distance, paid for professional cleanings, vaccumed like crazy people, used heavy duty stain removers, but this was just a sad case of DOA junk. there would be no lazarus moment.

we gave it this terminal diagnosis at least 3 years ago and have just been tolerating it since then, and like a hair in some delicious dish of food you are too starving to be grossed out by, we chose to pretend it wasnt there (but be enraged and barfed-out by it later).

but in swooped my crazy generous parents with an escape route. we immediately mortaged all future presents and said YES! we did say we would only do the living room and hallway since, though poor quality, the carpet in the bedrooms is fine and looks good since it is much more low-traffic.

we came home with about 85 samples of laminate from home depot and after muuuuuuuuuuuuuch discussion and soliciting of friend's and family's opinions, we narrowed it down to 2 favorites and then jesse let me make the call.

we picked a lighter color because, A: that room gets really poor light and we didnt want to further encaven (fictional word) it by adding dark floors (though i love the look of them), and B: so that dirt wouldnt show. this was the #1 thing people said: dirt and dust show up like cray-zay on dark floors and unless you sweep daily, prepare to be driven insane by them never looking clean.

no thank you! i will gladly live and wallow in our own filth if i am not aware it's there.

this type of floor also has some good texture, which will diguise any gashes or dents that we inevitably inflict upon it, and i have heard that dust will snuggle down into these grooves between cleanings rather then drifting around on top like an air hockey puck as it might with a smooth finish.

during the comparing process. (lest you forget, let buzz be a reminder that the living room is the playroom and dining room as well).

we love how the color goes with some of the tones in our bitchin' stone fireplace. we also love how it is a really rustic looking surface because we love the home decorating style of rustic + modern that is so popular now (it is, right?).

or, you could just really lean into the rustic feel and go full blown french provincial kitchen like the sample room on the pergo website shows:

via pergo. as seen in ratatouille.

the supplies came in last week and we picked them up (because they need to acclimate to the climate of our house for 72 hours so they dont warp post-install). the kids enjoyed using the 26 boxes as a performing stage/ultimate fighting platform/diving board at the foot of our bed all week.

we ripped open a pack to get a feel for what was about to happen.

and i also took out 6 years of rage on the carpet with the kids' crayons. judah woke up the morning after i did this and said, "there are some letters on the floor, mommy!" this message became a full blown flural (floor mural) through this week as i added a beach vista to my drawings with crashing waves, an umbrella and a happy crab.

take that, you evil fuzz!

i made sure the kids understood that they could never ever ever again write on any carpeting ever. because i am a great mom who plans ahead when modelling behavior. dammit.

so the installation is going on RIGHT NOW. here is our farewell before shot:

and yes, this SO means new paint color because i hate the khaki anyway (fun fact: i was painting the walls this khaki color back in 2008 and was up on the ladder when the news broke about heath ledger dying. deep stuff) AND am not into the whole floors matching the walls matching the chair thing. the camel monster will NOT devour this room!

this is such an amazing gift from my parents and such a blessing. it feels like a dream come true to get these, but due to the state of the BEFORE carpet, it's also like a nightmare come false. 2-in-1!

jesse is at home with the install guys and he just sent me this picture of the progress. i'm freakin'!!!

down the hallway towards the cul-de-sac of rooms. yup, and new hallway color is coming too.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shiver me tingles!!!!


i'm straight bonkers over this transformation!!!

yes: this will undoubtedly be another "if you give a mouse a cookie" scenario that leads to more DIY projects and improvements to bring the room and hallway up to the esteemed standard of the new floors. i am okay with that.

full AFTER pics coming as soon as they are done and i can snap them. bigfoot's getting a bikini wax, yall!!!

do you have laminate floors? do you love them? what are the drawbacks or positives of having them versus carpet? are there any tricky cleaning things i dont know about? someone educate me!


Luke 10:27 (toddler remix)

jesse caught this on tape (though in the dark) back in may and i just now found it on our youtube. it's kind of awesome. 

i have a horrible knowledge of the bible and at my age, memorizing scripture (now that i actually want to) is really hard for my old, crusty brain. so it is pretty cool to see judah writing this stuff on his heart and in his mind so young because i know tha, at his age, this stuff sticks and will be at his grasp for decades (i know this because i can still recite almost the entire animaniacs themesong...what a waste of neurons).

since jesus' message is something we believe with all of our being, we feel like it is invaluable to teach our children about him from the get-go. obviously their faith must become their own, in time. but as believers, even if judah goes his own way or even denies jesus at some point in his story, we feel it's our duty as believing parents to have ingrained these truths in him. 

do yall do memory verses with your kids? is their capacity to memorize astounding? what age can you start this? what are the most important verses that you want your kids to know? edukeight me!


the queens of scarves

eleven months ago, i posted a tutorial here that utterly changed my blogging life. thanks to this scarf capturing the uber-chic style of the inspiration piece, that post caught fire (like a mockingjay, mo-mo fo-fos!) on pinterest and brought lots of DIY'ers here.

i am so thankful because many of those pinny visitors have stuck around and really fanned the flames of my blogging passion with their encouragement and presence.

back at the end of that tutorial, i begged anyone who tried the project to please email me a picture of their finished product. i filed the first few of these away and forgot that i had intended to publish them all at one time. 

well i guess i went on an ADD bender and completely forgot (though they kept coming in) for almost a year. 

today i rectify that by giddily showing off the work of some amazing sewists, crafters, pinners and DIY'ers. 

a few things i noticed:

1. there are 52 pictures here in 4 columns or 13. just like a pack of cards (hence the post title)
2. there are some PRETTY ladies who tried this tutorial.
3. the average DIY'er who tried this is far more creative than me and these ladies showed off so many cool color, fabric (silk! sweaters!), pattern (look for the cool knot changes) and size variations (find the adorable toddler in a baby version!)

aces, every one.

and of course, there are 2  jokers in every pack:
happy anniversary to lena today! (sorry i almost forgot to add you to the pack and that you and dan and [unpictured] elizabeth used the tutorial for your first ever sewing project!)

seeing this makes my heart buzz. if i ever spot one of these scarves on a passerby in the street, i may attack with love and snuggles because that would be simply otherworldly.  (who's got my bail money for the day that that happens and i get thrown in the pokey for flagrant groping?).

it's beyond belief that i even get to see these on the internet and to know that the ones i make in my etsy shop (127 so far, i think!) are out there too, being worn by beautiful people all over the country and the world. 

the internet can be a discouraging place (my first ever hate-comment was actually last week, on this tutorial), but my experience has been overwhelmingly wonderful and affirming. seeing all of these scarves all together made by so many far-flung hands is one of the coolest bloggy moments i have ever had.

thanks to everyone who has ever tried, looked at, pinned, read, or even just rolled their eyes toward my scarf tutorial post!

and thanks for letting me be sentimental and pollyanna sweet for a moment here...over a scarf. 

did any of yall end up here through some internet rabbitty hole with this scarf at the beginning?

*if i somehow left out your picture, send it to me again. and if you never sent one in at first, go ahead and keep them coming! i save ALL of these in a special folder in my email (putapuredukes (at) gmail (dot) com) and will publish every single one that comes in!



here are a million awesome things about our weekend past. with photographic evidence. ready, set go.

jesse and i had a date night thanks to free monthly childcare provide by a local church. we took the van because pimpin' dont take the weekend off, yall.

we had a coupon at dinner and to be able to use it, we had to spend a certain amount. this leads to me + a cocktail. jesse never objects to me getting a drink and him not getting one because i am a massive lightweight who drinks maybe once a month and one good gin & tonic (plus a side of ginger ale to mix into it because i'm classy) makes me handsy, effusive and warm.

mcklayla is not impressed

but i am impressed by her bellying up to a barstool, knocking back a GLASS of OJ and rocking a stately pinky.

i fell deeper in love with this blurry blonde nugget.

i put together another outfit of my own that makes me feel like a million bucks. (and some proof that judah is still existent and beloved).

cranked out a few boppy covers

a trio of jewelry rolls joined the party

snapped this GEM of one sassy lady putting out the vibe in her awesome new hand me downs from her buddy reagan.

hung out at the amazing home of an even more amazing family from our church.

the kiddos shockingly shared AND we all got to see judah swim with NO FLOATIE for the first time! (my mom has been teaching him all summer when he stays with my folks, but for obvious reasons, she hadnt video'd it). it was insane to see the little fishy jump off the diving board and motor right over to me on the ladder since he has only ever been in a floatie or our arms in the water. bananas! last year we outsourced potty training to my folks and this year swimming! having teacher-parents is kind of the best. (update: we finally caught it on tape here).

we loved our saturday night hostess's potatopes so much that i made my own version for lunch sunday. this was the entirety of the meal. balance: it's not for everyone.

i had my skype session with my stylist, emily, from Tog +Porter. i am not skype savvy, (for aforementioned reasons of looking like ghostbusters villains on webcam) but i wanted to grab a screen shot of us in action without looking like a creeper--i had no clue how much she could see of what i was doing on my end--so i just blindly and sneakily hit the button once and didnt even check it until afterwards. this beauty was what i captured: both of us looking dubious and scared. dont worry, emily is awesome and i pretty much just want a service (fashion or cosmetic surgery) that makes me look exactly like her. the end.
and this evening we went back to church for the first ever fellowship meal in the new building. there were over 300 people there and it was beyond fun. there were FIVE TABLES of potluck desserts. i had thirdsies. including banana pudding which i usually hate, but was won over by individual chessman cookies on each portion...sweet moses.

layla evaded jesse for a hilarious length of time on this expansive plot of land to the side of the church.

wow. that's a lot of things. no wonder i needed 8 desserts at the end of the weekend..