3.31.2015

TOMORROW, fools!

The fridge is packed with meat and produce. There is all sort of hippie nonsense in my cupboards (coconut manna! homemade ghee!). My intestines are quivering with anticipation over the impending fiber onslaught.

Our Whole30 starts tomorrow. THIS IS NOT AN APRILS FOOLS' DRILL, PEOPLE.

I said I had been easing in to the program (mostly avoiding dairy/sugar/grains/soy/alcohol) so that the transition wouldn't be so rough and cold-turkey (organic, pastured turkey, duh of course). That is until this weekend when I started feeling the walls of dietary freedom closing in and decided to let myself off the chain for a few meals.

OUCH. 

I had ice cream and cake on Saturday night as well as lot of rice. I woke up Sunday feeling straight hungover despite not drinking any alcohol. It was brutal. Sunday night Jesse and I went on a date out to use up a meal deal we had bought that was set to expire in April. Again: no restraints (a beer, dessert, grains). I woke up yesterday and had the worst nose-itch allergy attack of my life. I take Claritin every day anyway for seasonal allergies that started in my 20's and was fully dosed yesterday and STILL the histamines brutalized me like a One Direction mob.

So I am already wondering if I'm onto something and one of these food groups is a total sneaky frenemy trying to destroy me from the inside. If that was the reaction upon adding it back after just a week or so avoiding it, it's kind of shocking to think that my body had just learned to live with that kind of irritation (since I never noticed this kind of flare up before). 

LEARNING!

This morning was a little farewell tour (via my Instagram):

My #whole30 starts tomorrow. One venti cup of steaming candied caffeine before I go. A massive bender before rehab is always advisable, right? (sat here taking sad selfies and singing "goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one for me"  repeatedly à la Michael Scott in his bathrobe sampling iTunes after Carol breaks up with him at Christmas...like you do). Tomorrow I'll either drink it black or snort the grounds.#GoodbyeStarbucks #April15Whole30



Someone take me to Benihana with m'broworkers to cheer me up

Time to veg up. Tonight we will weight ourselves, take some sexy (not) BEFORE pics and measurements and brace ourselves for getting clean. See you in May, everything!

If you know of any good Whole30 instagram accounts I need to be following, please leave the @handle in the comments. Or any other advice/recipes you wish to equip me with before I set sail on the sea of gut excellence. Godspeed, my friends.

3.19.2015

Getting Fixed v11.0: My Post-Pregnancy Fix

I was more reluctant about scheduling my latest Stitch Fix box than I have ever been.  The period between pregnancy and weaning is such a bizarre one for me and my body. Things are softer and bigger and just weirder than they normally are so trying on a bunch of cute clothes when I'm not feeling fierce--or even like myself!--underneath can quickly take a hard left turn into grumpsville.

But with literally only one pair of non-sweat pants and maybe 3 tops that I feel good in right now, it became time to face facts that, at least for a bit longer, this is the body I am tasked with dressing, and that some new clothes for it (and professional help picking them!) were in order. I also tried the classic "Well, I don't want to buy clothes that will *hopefully* be too big for me soon," self-talk thing too before telling that girl to shut up and treat and dress herself right TODAY. Amen.

I went into my Stitch Fix Style Profile and updated my weight (GULP...highest non-preg ever, but lying won't help!) and went up a size in tops to accommodate my massive milky bust and abdominal fluff-muffin. I told my stylist to please be gentle and to send long, looser-fitting items. I hit "Schedule My Fix," and prayed it wasn't a waste of $20. 

We were on our way to the park when I spotted this in the garage. Resisting the urge to flake on my family and go back inside to try it all on: Difficulty Level Extreme.

Hours later I got my first glimpse. A plaid I love, blues, and an army green big something. Definitely all good.



The first thing I pulled out was this top. At first I thought, "oh, a basic solid-colored 3/4 sleeve blouse. Nothing special." WRONG. Filbert is The Special.

The details on this blouse are a raging example of loverly: the deep teal has a beautiful subtle shimmer that had to have been achieved through blood sacrifice of a thousand virgins, the buttons are pearlescent shell, and the little tab epaulet things on the shoulder help balance out my bigger lower proportions. (Going up a size had hurt my pride but was SO worth it in how this fits).


I feel cute in this. Seriously a first in a long time and worth my weight [gain] in gold!


When I turned to the side I spotted the darling rounded details at the cuff and hem (which I already loved for it's long length). 

It took negative 3 seconds to rule this a KEEPER!


The necklace I wore with this top (and you can see some of its magic vampire shimmer, and shell buttons here in the sun) was from this fix too. It's just a long gold necklace that has dozens of thin little gold squares going around it. This actually gives it a really neat 3D look--like a box kite almost. It's delightful to twirl around and jingle (for me AND for a nursing Noa). 

Somehow it manages to be a basic (long gold necklace) and a statement piece (3D magic tinkler) all at once. KEEP!



Next was the plaid piece I had spotted. I was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn't a flannel type fabric, but a light, delicate, almost silky feeling fabric. I loved the colors of the plaid even more out of the box, and was probably going to keep it just for its being called the "Jax" button down because I am on a Sons of Anarchy binge right now (baggy carpenter jeans and white sneaks have never looked so hot).
   

I really loved how the print looked on me but something was a little off (besides me already managing to get it all wrinkled by leaving it clumped in the box after unfolding it. Whoops). It took a moment to figure out that it was the V-neck/collar combination of the neckline. 


Once I noticed it, it for sure bugged me. I would have liked it either way, but this 2-in-1 identity crisis it was having on me was ruining my Jax moment. I did remind myself that I can sew and thus I could sew the collar under. I tucked it to see if I liked that look enough to keep and alter it:


MUCH better! I definitely prefer this, but the length was too short to make it a keeper. When I raised my arms, or bent over, it exposed things better left out of daylight. Close but no cigar: RETURN.

I was excited to see another maxi dress in this fix that was the same cut as the one I depended on (and leapt in) often during pregnancy--and which I still adore.


Ehhh. I love the colors so much, though I am a little bit starting to get over my chevron clothing moment. But the real kicker on this piece was that the same things that made it work in pregnancy made it not as appealing on me 6 months later. 

There is no waist to speak of, and I need to be accentuating or creating narrowness when possible (even if it isn't there on me!)! In pregnancy I had a negative waist, so that was great. And then the belly-show-off cling fabric was wonderful last summer when my mondo Ute demanded worship and attention, but without a baby belly to feature, this fabric, albeit extremely comfortable, just clings to my low-confidence areas and shows every bulge and hillock, and makes it too easy for me to start a downward spiral of self-talk. For this portion of my life, it's a RETURN.



Finally, I was so pumped to see what the army green outerwear was, but I was tickled/sad to see it was almost the exact same-looking jacket as I had bought from American Eagle a few months ago: a hooded, military style jacket. And biggest bummer: I liked THIS ONE better with all its drawstrings and pocket details.

But when I pulled it out I realized this was much less coat (my AE one is sherpa-lined and slightly puffy for maximum cold days) and much more true anorak: light, unlined, and definitely not for harsh elements. But It would still have to be a superstar to make me willing to own two green military pieces of outerwear.
  

I'm peeved at the not-awesome of this photo.My pose and photo are not showing off the jacket on me as well as in real life. And even when I was shooting this attempt I decided I was 50/50 on keeping the jacket: I love that bright peach pop at the zipper and the cinch-able (or not!) waist, but was it doing enough? This pic said "nah."


I realized you couldn't see how sporty it looked with the hood out of sight back there, so I snapped this charming little sight. (She knows what you did last summer).

I was on the fence when I took these but resolved to send it back the more I thought about it in conjunction  the other green jacket I already have. This morning I was packing up my returns bag to send the No items back to Stitch Fix (their sad postal walk of shame to San Fransisco), and I decided to try it on one more time. 

As soon as I put the anorak on I knew I had to keep it after all. I think my blah-feelings and hate-speech towards myself after trying on the maxi dress had colored my eyes and made me feel huge and disgusting (damn this girl brain!) when I tried on the coat afterward. 

In the more rational, "be where you are" light of day, this thing makes me (the real one, not the one I think I should look like) feel sporty and outdoorsy and inter-seasonal and cool and PRETTY, dammit! I snatched those tags off and sent the other two items back to Stitch Fix without my new little buddy. She's mine and she makes me feel wonderful. I am wearing her right now and am going to go take some happy pics!

Back out on my fire escape fashion selfie runway. (perfect spring-y light jacket weather!)

Now that's a winner. And the jacket too.

How do you like that? Three keepers and a little heart lesson for Old Keightypie (mmmm, pie!).

And hey, that wasn't so bad. Much the opposite, I am shocked to say my post-baby-body Stitch Fix, at my highest weight ever, was truly the most enjoyable one I've had to date. The thing that made the most difference this time I think: being brutally honest with my stylist about my sizes...and giving myself the grace to say, "I need an extra large blouse. Who cares? I feel like a shimmery gemstone unicorn in it! Haters to the left." 

This is now officially the only context in which the phrase "I need to fix my body!" is appropriate. Stitch Fix it, yall.

Do yall agree with my choices? Covet anything from my shipment? Know where babies come from?




My other Stitch Fix Posts:



3.17.2015

Whole on 1

Ok, let's do this.

I am starting my Whole30 in April. I got Jesse to join me and want as many people who are interested to join us, and to do this together--for support, accountability, encouragement, and general funtimes dreaming of frosting and bread....until we are free from their carby chains (that's a pun because carbohydrates are just long chains of the molecules strung together...SCIENCE!).



The Official Whole30 graphic they suggest for publicizing your participation...a little tame for my taste.


There now. That's more my speed. 

Y'alls feedback on my post asking for opinions of experienced Whole30-ers was ever so helpful! I was already leaning towards doing the program, but your firsthand stories tipped the scales into the territory of "HELLS YEAH." And April seemed perfect because it's already 30 days and it gives me (and you!) enough time to research, prepare, shop, purge the naughty things from your house, psych yourself up before 4/1 hits.

I did go ahead and order the book. Like most of the commenters said, it's definitely not necessary, and is more useful for understanding the nitty-gritty sciencey whys behind a lot of the plan--which I am enjoying already--but is certainly not essential because the Whole30 website is packed with everything you need for free (start here).

Here's what we have done so far to prepare (and we still have 2 weeks before starting, so there is plenty of time for you still, obviously):

1. Fact-finding missions to our local grocery store to find out if they carry certain items that we will want or if we will need to plan substitutes or find them at a more specialized store or online. Example: my Publix doesn't carry any bacon that doesn't have sugar in the ingredients. So we are deciding to substitute prosciutto instead.

2. Warming up: rather than just doing our normal (re: wretched) eating routine right up through 3/31 and going cold turkey on 4/1, we are heeding the advice we've been given and sort of building up it so that (hopefully) the shock/withdrawls won't be as intense. Example: I'm already drinking nothing but water, and avoiding grains/legumes/dairy/obvious sugar about 75-90% of the time. Not strict at all like it will be, but just like DEFCON 3 awareness and effort into compliance.

3. Bookmarking and screen shotting the helpful info from the Whole 30 site for easy access on my phone when I am shopping or meal planning or think of a new question. Example: their list of Sneaky Sugars to look for (and avoid!) on labels and their handy Shopping List. (Googling "whole30 _____" for any ingredient or product I am wondering about is happening often too).

4. Curating a Pinterest board for Whole30 approved recipes, products, tips and strategies. I also borrowed a Paleo cookbook from a friend and am enjoying going through that (though we will probably keep things very simple most of the time with just grilling a meat and not messing with elaborate recipes). Example: How to make my own Ghee (whole30 approved butter)

What we need to get done in the next week or so:

1. Stock the house with items that we will need/use and will last the entire challenge (as opposed to things we'll need to replenish) and may have to make a special trip to locate. I only want to have to specialty shop once for this endeavor.  Example: Coconut Aminos (Soy sauce substitute), Sugar free broth (amazingly difficult to find).

2. Find inspiring Whole30 folks on Instagram who post their meals. Many of you said this was a great resource! I am following litte Hip Squeak's special Whoe30 account @WholeAmy already but need more!

3. Start a hashtag for our own Whole30 group (assuming any of you want to join me!) so that we can easily find each other.  Everything I have thought of so far combining "Putapure" and "Whole" end up sounding like a porno, so I am still brainstorming. Example #PutapureWhole. Um no.  Ideas please! Okay the hashtag is officially  #April15Whole30 I like neat numbers. It's April15 as in 2015, btw...the start date is April 1st.  *If your instagram/FB/twitter is private, you will have to @mention me and anyone else in the posts for us to be able to see/search it.

4. Make ahead some whole30 freezer meals for when we get in a time crunch or haven't gotten to the store.Example: things we can just pull out of the freezer, thaw and dump into a pot/pan and have no more to think about. We already have a few boxes of Trader Joe's Chili Lime Chicken Burgers in the freezer to be a parachute option (and we know they are VERY yummy) when we can't even get it together enough to thaw something.

5. Learn to drink black coffee. UGH. not looking forward to this. We can add unsweetened coconut milk, but something tells me it's not the same as my typical milked-and-sugared-beyond-recognition cup of coffee. I actually wondered about breast milk in coffee (I hear it's naturally sweet!) but so far that is the ONLY thing I cant find a Whole30 answer about on Google. Better learn to love plain old beanwater!

6. Take before pics/info. One of the things I love about the program is that you are required to hide your scale during the 30 days. You should weigh yourself before the start of it, but not again until after. So I will need to weigh myself , and additionally I will take some pics of how I look and record how I typically feel as well.

I know this doesn't sound like a trip to the carnival. It doesn't to me either. It's not supposed to be. It's supposed to crazy restrictive and as far to one side of the food spectrum as you will ever get in your life--for only 30 days--so you will hopefully realize how crappy the other side of the spectrum was making you feel and then decide where you want to fall in between the two for the rest of your life.

It's not supposed to be a weight loss endeavor--but I'm hoping for me it will wake me up and help inspire me to break habits I've formed that will in turn change my lifestyle permanently, and THEN get me to a healthier weight. All while still allowing me to eat pizza and cupcakes every blue moon (rather than every blue Tuesday). I need to recalibrate my brain as to what food is and how I use it.

One friend of mine who didnt comment here on the blog  but emailed me instead had a lot of excellent points and gave me permission to share her experience AND her photos of her journey. She also played Volleyball for Georgia Tech (though not overlapping with me...she's a youngin'). Here's the lovely Allie.




1. Have you done a Whole30? How did it go? If not, have you done a dairy/sugar fast? How was that?

I have done the whole 30 twice and i've also attempted the 21 day sugar detox (a stricter version than whole 30 which i did not successfully complete).

After graduating from Tech it took me a few years to realize I couldn't continue to eat like I did in college when I was practicing for 3 or 4 hours everyday. I gradually put on 20 - 30lb. 

So the past few years i've been slowly adjusting my diet to resemble the paleo diet. I had already somewhat adjusted to having limited amounts of bread, dairy, unnatural sugar and processed food when I did the whole 30 for the first time last Aug. But I did and still do allow myself to have junk food from time to time. Even eating somewhat clean leading up to the whole 30 it was HARD. It will be hard regardless but the best way is just to fully commit and jump in. Thankfully my boyfriend and I did it together so there was no non-compliant food in the house. If you do the whole 30 you can't have junk around. You will literally steal food out of your kids mouths, your cravings will be so strong.

After doing the whole 30 i realized what I eat impacts me in a million ways I never would have imagined. Obviously weight but emotions, sleep, acne, headaches, allergies, inflammation... the list goes on. I think doing an elimination diet like whole 30 and identifying foods that impact you by gradually reintroducing them after a month is really impactful. Most people find that there are benefits to continuing to follow most of the principles of whole 30 after they finish it.  

2. Would you say that reading the book beforehand is crucial? Cheepo McBeepo here is wondering if I can [vegan coconut] fudge it.

Yes! I have actually read the book a few times. For me understanding why i'm doing something helps me stay committed. It starts with food takes some really complicated information and puts it into a context that is easy to understand and I thought it was a quick read. You obviously don't have to read it to complete the whole 30 but I got a lot out of it.

3. Specific followups to #1: Did you see noticeable changes in your energy level/mood/skin/weight?

If you can make it through the first 7-10 days you will really start to see and feel the benefits of the changes. Your taste buds start to change and fruits and vegetables actually start to taste way better than they ever did. I couldn't believe how good a honey crisp apple tasted. And it was almost too sweet for my stomach to handle. You will be much more in tune with your body and what its telling you it needs. Sleep generally improves and you have more energy. You may not know just how might lighter you feel until you try to each something off the diet again and your body doesn't like it.

I lost weight and gained muscle (I had more energy in my workouts). The picture I attached is from a few years ago and I didn't see all those results from 1 month but it does show where I started and what changing my eating habits has been able to help me get back to. I loved like it isn't about restricting calories. I've always had a big appetite and I can eat a ton... its just a ton of the right food that is nutrient dense. One of my friends did whole 30 with me in Jan about 5 months after she had a baby and she lost 15 lbs.

4. Was it hard as mess to stick to? Was it worth it? Did you go back to your same habits or did it change anything permanently for you?

It is hard to stick to. You will be very tempted to go crazy on day 31 and once you break the seal its easy to revert back. But its also an emotional process and when you go off sugar you realize that most of the time you are eating its not actually because you are hungry. Gaining that awareness has helped me continue to limit foods that I don't want in my diet regularly. And only splurging if its something I love and tastes amazing. For me meal prep and cooking are critical. I have to have food prepared so I dont have a reason to get fast food or stop at the vending machine and that takes time and effort. I generally make a fritta on Sunday with a bunch of veggies and then i can heat it up in the mornings. And on Sundays we cook a few big meals so we have food to eat for lunch during the week and freeze anything we don't want that week. Most people are good about doing meal prep the first week but then don't spend that same time in later weeks and that's where most people fall off the wagon. There is nothing worse then being really hungry and there being NOTHING around you can eat.



5. What was harder: giving up the foods you had to or planning ahead to not get caught in a bind?


I've started to really enjoy cooking so the meal prep isn't terrible its just time consuming. I buy veggies, eggs and meat in bulk from Costco and whenever I do cook I make a lot so I don't have to cook everyday. Some days you just don't have time. I think its definitely harder giving up the foods. I'm an emotional eater and not going to comfort food when I was stressed and upset was a challenge and still is.

Tips

1. Do it with other people
2. Follow whole 30 and whole30 food bloggers on instagram
3. Drink lots of water
4. Breakfast will be your favorite meal of the day
5. Dont be afraid of fats and protein. Feeling full is critical to avoiding temptation
6. Let me know if you need recipes!

Good luck!


Keight here again.

Okay so, there's my deal. It has a hashtag and will involve hash (sweet potato, specifically). Won't you join us Dukes? I'm so nervous and excited and wiggly (that might be all the water though). I know how helpful group accountability is to succeeding at new hard thing so PLEASE think it over! For me, my initial panicked thoughts of "Oh I could never do that!" were the first red flags that told me I probably have some unhealthy bonds with food and need a change. The parts of my brain that are addicted to Cap'n Crunch and 5 squares of dark chocolate at bedtime (for dental health!) are still putting up a fight for survival and are not going quietly. I shall smother them with kale (that's a plant, right?).

Let's do this.





3.13.2015

Noa's Quilt: Done!

It's a record! Layla's baby quilt (my first ever quilt) was barely finished before her first birthday, and Judah didn't get his medieval-themed twin-sized bad boy until he was almost three. The fact that Noa is snuggling and drooling on hers at 5 months means I deserve several medals. Feel free to ship them to me.

The fabric:  Tule collection by Leah Duncan for Art Gallery Fabrics. Entire collection used.
The binding: Simple white dots on Navy from Joann
Piecing style: Log cabin, 2' strips (to have a connection with Layla's)
Size: Crib size, about 44" square
Quilting pattern: ultra-easy diagonal X's across the 16 blocks

Fabric purchased back in June--4 months before her due date.

4 blocks done by August...and not a lot in between then and this past week.


The results:

Thanks, daffodils, for blooming just in time to be perfect matching spring scenery.

Over the picket fence like I'm artsy, fools.

We only ever rake the picket fenced-in part of the back yard so there is like 9 years of leaf cover over on this side.

The back was a quick and simple patchwork with the leftovers. I love how it features the same fabrics but in a completely different way...totally changing the look.

Heavens, I love a hand-bound quilt with perfect mitered corners.

Happy, happy loving feelings

Even prettier background scenery: big sis!


 What does the intended recipient think?

She thinks it's jaw-droppingly great.  (And if she didnt want me putting words in her mouth then she shouldn't have opened it so wide).

She picked you some flowers.

Working those pectoral muscles.

 Our lil' Spring Bean


She better not even think about learning to crawl.

 Someone take her keys, I think she's had too much





3.12.2015

Whole(30). Lotta Love?

I need advice. 

Whenever anyone starts a social media post like that, I swear I can hear the floodgates slam open and the water start its torrential rush toward the inquirer. "SHE IS SOLICITING ADVICE! WE MUST MAKE OUR VOICES KNOWN."

I love it when my friends crowd-source information, advice, and recommendations this way. As a reader, I make sure to throw my two cents around like I'm allergic to copper (sweet joke, right?). On the other side of that coin [which I just made an excellent joke about],  I have previously chosen a pediatrician, paint colors, clothing, restaurants, movies and a dentist based on the advice that I have asked folks for over the internet.

Today I need y'alls advice on a new topic...

BUT!!!

And it's a very big but that I need you to keep in touch with. Haha, she said  "touch" and "but."




BUT I really only want the advice of folks who have actually tried the exact thing I am wondering about.

That thing is the Whole30 eating plan/diet/program/reset/detox whatever you call it.



I love all your brains out, but please oh please don't get tangential here and start recommending OTHER stuff (supplements/lifestyles/books). I'm really only wanting to hear from folks who have actually tried and/or completed a Whole30 round or more or who have gone off sugar/dairy. 

I am so late to this party, I know, which I am taking as a good thing since there should be lots of experience to draw from.

Basically I eat crap. Wait, not literally--excepting this one time when I thought I had mustard on my arm and I licked it off and then was like, "Hey, it's 10am and I havent had mustard today," and realized it was my five-day-old-baby Judah's poop stain. #winning--I just eat garbage food MUCHLY of the time.

I eat a lot of processed, refined, sugar-laden, fake food food. I know this isn't good for me, uh-doy. No American can honestly say they don't know what a healthy plate of food should look like. But it's just easier in the small moments to make the fast/easy/unhealthy choice.

From what I gather (haven't read the book yet), Whole30 is about cutting all the processed garbage out (and legumes and whole grains too, weirdly) cold turkey for a month.  I hear it's like drug rehab and the first few days SUCK as your body is craving all the turd-food you are used to shoving in i

But hopefully you feel such a huge positive change in energy/mood/skin/BMs/overall once you are clean of those little addictions that it convinces you that you don't need that stuff. Not forever. I'm  liking that it isn't a lifestyle plan you do forever (because no I could not), nor is it a "diet," but rather just a temporary rehab program where you get rid of everything that could be causing issues and then afterward if you like where you are, you start adding back in food groups to see what the real culprit may be.

Am I describing that right? That's my brain's idea of Whole30

Reasons I'm considering it:

-I've never eaten real food for that long of a span. That is depressing. I wanna see what I feel like on things that didn't need too much messing with to become food.

-I just feel crappy. Tired, moody, sluggish, bloated, BLAH. Granted, I do have a 5 month old who is nursing around the clock and am adjusting to working life with 3 kids, so some of this stuff might be just a fact of life for this phase I'm in. But maybe not. (I also have hypothyroidism and have since 8th grade, and supposedly diet can really help that too).

-Like I mentioned before--I lost all my pregnancy weight the first week home from the hospital and gained it all back inactual fat in the next three months. That sucks and I do want to lose a few pounds (not rushing anything weight-related though because like I have also mentioned: I hold 10-15 lbs until I stop nursing which I am hanging on strong to this time around).

-FACE FACE FACE This last pregnancy and ever since having Noa my skin has been dreadful. Literally: full of the dreads. I've always had a hateful complexion (so bad that I wrote a one act screenplay about it one time), but this is beyond even teenage levels. It's not acne...it's ACKne! (Yall--Noa was up from 1-4am last night and I had two coffees today and I can see my eyeballs pulsing...forgive me these jokes). I hear sugar and dairy can have an adverse affect on zit levels in some people and at this point I'm ready to try anything.

-I have a girl crush on @LittleHipSqueaks and she is doing her second Whole30 and I think I got ensorcelled (best word ever) by her Instagram feed and want to pose he. #KeepinItReal

Ok so here's me cracking open a single floodgate just a smidgling to ask these questions of folks who've been there:

0. If you HAVENT done one and are interested, might you want to do one along with me? Because accountability and group shame-avoidance can be useful.

1. Have you done a Whole30? How did it go? If not, have you done a dairy/sugar fast? How was that?

2. Would you say that reading the book beforehand is crucial? Cheepo McBeepo here is wondering if I can [vegan coconut] fudge it.

3. Specific followups to #1: Did you see noticeable changes in your energy level/mood/skin/weight? 

4. Was it hard as mess to stick to? Was it worth it? Did you go back to your same habits or did it change anything permanently for you?

5. What was harder: giving up the foods you had to or planning ahead to not get caught in a bind?



Alright ye gates, FLOOD! Please give me the brutal truth of your experiences! (PS I changed the comment section...hopefully this works better for the many of you who have told me you had issues. Let me know.)







3.10.2015

I Will Try...to Fix You

*EDIT: I had mentioned a code for a $20 off your first box earlier, but I spoke to Stitch Fix and apparently that code does not work, so I've removed that part of this post. I apologize profusely for the confusion!

File this one under BFD, because yes. Two big things (well,one is actually NOT big--by design).

I've share with y'all all about my experiences with Stitch Fix. The most frequent question I get about them is "do they have maternity/petite/plus sizes?"  I know they are hard at work on the third component of the question and I just found out today that the answer to the first two is now a resounding YES.


Stitch Fix is now offering maternity and petite clothing! I may need to go get impregnated just to have another amazing preggo Stitch Fix experience (and my items weren't even maternity clothes...the stylists are just that good! Imagine what they'll be able to do with actual maternity-wear). Okay, totally not really would I actually do that, but I might still request some maternity clothes because they're just plain comfortable!


These new dedicated sizes and designs are so helpful because they are cut specifically for preggos (just tell your stylist your due date and what you're looking for) and petite frames (shorter inseams/arms, narrower shoulders). Stitch Fix has listened to the cries of our pregnant and petite hearts and added these two new lines to reach as many women as possible.

I hope y'all know that I am a picky monster about the stuff I back or promote here on the blog. I have been very honest about all my fixes, and what kept me coming back to Stitch Fix--even after a few boxes that weren't favorites--was their drive to learn about me and my totally unique bod to make me look and feel great. 

Be honest in your style profile: tell them your real weight (they won't tell anyone!), what parts you like to flaunt/downplay, if you want all tops or no dresses or only black pants. They want to make you look and feel great! There have been many times when they sent me something I thought I would hate when I first saw it because it was so far outside my comfort zone, but because it was in my box I gave it a try and ended up loving it and having my fashion horizons broadened.

So there ya go. Preggies and teeters (I just made that term up for petites...let's roll with it) can now get fixed knowing they've got you covered too--or uncovered in whichever strategic areas you'd like to flaunt...*sassy salsa dancing emoji*.

Tell all your pregnant and petite hottie friends good news!


If you want my ultra-honest, mega-awkwardly modelled reviews of my own past fixes, here's the diggity down low (I have a new box coming this weekend that I'm very excited to try on and share with yall):



3.09.2015

Giving Dragon Mommy the Morning Off

Things were getting bad around here. It felt like every.single.morning was the same crapstorm of asking/nagging/threatening/rushing the kids to get their basic stuff done to enable us all to get out the door. I got so tired of hearing Jesse and myself say "guys, come on!" that I was white-knuckling our corkscrew: it was a toss up between using it to shotgun a bottle of wine at 8 am versus using it to just lobotomize myself.

It's our own fault. Often Judah and Layla wake up way too early and we just phone it in and cave to get them to let us go back to sleep. "Go play iPad," we say. This is so successful at getting them out of our faces and occupied (scarily so...like Wall-E levels of screen obsession) that we let them keep playing on them while we get ourselves ready--until the last possible moment. (In case youre wondering: my parents gifted them one and we bought another on big sale to avoid bloodshed...we are those parents who gave every kid their own iPad...oh dear).

So with 20 minutes left before we have to leave for work and school no child has dressed or eaten or sanitized their bodies. Oh, and they are INDIGNANT to be asked to stop in the middle of their game/movie/hacking the FBI/whatever it is they're doing that is so crucial to their very lifeforce that the threat of having to stop so that they might ingest foodstuffs and go on living is THE MEANEST THING EVER to ask them to do. 

Wait a second! So we buy you, our 4 & 5 year old, a $300 toy, and for making you stop after an hour and a half of unrestricted play on it --to eat and be clothed and go get literate, MIND YOU--you are now angry at us and saying that life is unfair and this is the worst day ever?!?!

HERE COMES DRAGON MOMMY.

Rather than give in to the temptation to become a late-onset baby-shaker and jostle some sense into my first-world-proto-cusshole preschoolers, we decided something had to change. NO MORE ENTITLEMENT. STANDS WILL BE TAKEN! LINES: DRAWN! CAPS: LOCKED!

They are 4 and 5 and a half: they can handle chores. If this was 500 years ago they would have children of their own by now...or a cow or something, at least. They have chores when they get home from school (no play time or snack until they've put up shoes and coats and bags and lunchboxes and folders) and implementing those was so easy and effective, but for some reason we have just been the blind exasperated lunatics leading the blind spoiled freeloaders when it came to mornings.

An iPad is a modern damn marvel, the capabilities of which nation-states have fought wars over for much less throughout history. I love my kids, and they're cute and all, but I'm sorry, being my living spawn does not the god-given RIGHT to own one of these trinkets give you.

Starting today, they have to earn it. They each have a morning routine checklist to do and only when every item is done can they have iPad. I am no longer the bad guy hounding them about 12 tasks at once. Talk to the list, fools!

We are selling this as a privilege instead of a downgrade or loss of fun by saying if they get it all done, they get INFINITY time on the iPad before school. Until they realize the only way to maximize this is to wake up unholy early (a real possibility) this automatically should set a limit just because we have to be out the door by 8:25.

If they get everything done on all 5 days of the week, they will earn an allowance. $1 for each year they've been alive. Jesse balked at this being too much money, until I said, "How much would you pay stay sane...NAY how much would you pay to keep ME sane?!" because really my stress level getting ramped up is what is toxic to our household (working on it).

I made up an Excel spreadsheet because you know how I be, and we can change and add things if needed. I know these lists/sheets/boards aren't a new idea by any means, but they are revolutionary in this house so far. 


Layla's Sheet*. Complete with stock clipart? yes! because mama aint got time for cool design-y logos. Picking my battles...

We took basic human morning things like brushing teeth and wearing shoes and added a few age appropriate actual chores to the list because they need to contribute to the tribe! They put a sticker on when it's done (we dont care about the order) and for fun, I made little iPad tickets that are tear-off-able at the bottom for them to cash in for the (now locked) iPads when everything is done. They can tear off the dollar bill at the end of the week to get their paycheck. 


Day 1: stunner!

We still had to help guide them through everything today and help keep them on task, but it was so much better to say, "check your list!" rather than saying "WHERE THE FRIG ARE YOUR SOCKS?!" after telling them 6 times to put them on.   And of course the novelty will surely wear off with the stickers and tickets. I'm okay with that...we are trying to create responsible, non-jerk humans, not an actual cartoon paper currency economy. 

We love that their desire for the iPad is now the constant reminder of what they need to get done rather than our words and effort.

Judah's Sheet*. We made feeding the dogs and picking up an entire room his new jobs. He did them like it was cake. 

I could show you Noa's list but it's just a picture of boobs and poop, sooooo, nah.

These sights have never been so beautiful to me before:

Oh yeah. She's feeling it.

Veg, my hardworking contributor, VEG I SAY!


Below is a link to my actual spreadsheet if you want to download it and edit it for your kids own needs. It has the tearable tickets at the bottom and everything is sized to fit the standard little circle stickers that you'd use for garage sale prices or any other fun mini sticker...or checkmarks when stickers get old. I had to max out my margins.


(let me know if this doesnt work after you open and download...this is my first file-share attempt on the blog.)



They just got home and walked up to the fridge and looked at their sheets. Judah goes, "I love our new list."  And I'm all Emperor Palpatine: "Yes, my son. Yes." 



*One thing we blatantly forgot and I hope someone tries to Jesus juke/call me out on is a devotion. We have been doing the She Reads Truth ABC memory verses that we have pretty pretty flashcards for (wall sized and pocket sized for the car). They get candy when they can recite their verses...so that's separate but probably should go on the list.