our forever song

i did this post for jesse on his birthday that included a quillion things i loved about him and funny memories and stuff. you may have noticed that i left #10, which song best fits how i feel about him, blank. that was an accident. i racked my brains all day, but couldn't think of anything good enough to put and then i really needed to post it and totally forgot that i hadn't answered that one.

well, it turned out to be quite lucky/providential because a few days later i posted all about a rock-bottom, marriage-changing blowout that we had. one of my blog buddies/friend-of-a-friends from real life, lacey, left a comment asking whether i had heard a song called "dancing in the minefields" by andrew peterson because, based on what i have written about marriage, she thought i might really like it.

fast forward 4 youtube-spent minutes later and i am crying at my desk at work and seriously considering how much of these lyrics to get tattooed on my body.

when she gave me the tip, i looked up the video on youtube. granted, jesus-musicians don't make the most cutting edge videos (kanye would probably never interrupt tay-sweezy to defend one), but don't let that throw you. and hang in there past the first verse, which is a little cheesy and doesn't probably fit most people, because the rest is freaking gold. this is now 100% me and jesse's song.

well I was 19 you were 21, the year we got engaged
everyone said we were much to young, but we did it anyway
we got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
we said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

we went dancing in the minefields
we went sailing in the storms
and it was harder than we dreamed
but I believe that’s what the promise is for

well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words; the beginning of the end
but to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
and I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

and we’re dancing in the minefields
we’re sailing in the storm
and this is harder than we dreamed
but I believe that’s what the promise is for
that’s what the promise is for

so when I lose my way, find me
when I loose love's chains, bind me
at the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

cause we bear the light of the son of man
so there’s nothing left to fear
so I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
'til the shadows disappear
cause he promised not to leave us,
and his promises are true
so in the face of this chaos baby,
i can dance with you

so lets go dancing in the minefields
lets go sailing in the storms
oh lets go dancing in the minefields
and kicking down the doors

oh lets go dancing in the minefields
and sailing in the storms
oh this is harder than we dreamed
but I believe that’s what the promise if for
that’s what the promise is for

i can't even begin to explain how perfect this song is for how i feel about marriage. "harder than we dreamed"? damn straight. if you've ever noticed under our picture in the sidebar, i have a marriage ticker that counts how long we've been married. it let me pick the background and the icons for us and i thought it was so funny that there was a swampland available as well as disco-clad figures. so i picked those long before i ever heard this song and subtitled our ticker, "disco dancing through the mire...together." well, andrew peterson found an even better way to describe it.

there are so many things about these lyrics that rock me, but far and away, the bridge is my favorite and slays me every time. so many of our fights can be boiled down to: 1, me trying to throw off the "chains" of the promise to love jesse no matter that i made and 2, forgetting my real name.

this so goes against the american and modern idea of being free and independent and beholden to no one but yourself, but the vows we made to god on the day we got married are chains. the "old ball and chain" is a way lame way to describe your wife and in spanish the word for wife is the same as the word for handcuff. we voluntarily chose to bind ourselves to one another in love, even and especially when we really feel like we hate each other. these are the times that i try to throw off the chains for a little while and "be free." when i want the right to just get to be a bitch to jesse and not have to be answerable or held down by any vow. these times are when i need to be bound up tightly by that same love i promised him all over again. just as the yoke of christ is light, the chains of selfless love in marriage are freeing. too bad neither feels that way when we are trying to be punk-asses.

and the part about forgetting my name is just gold for me. i wrote on our "putapuredukes?" page about why i gave the blog a different address than its title and that idea of fighting my tendency to be hard and unloving is tied up in my walk with christ. i love the idea that jesus gave me my true name because he knows my real heart and my identity in him better than i ever will until he tells me face to face. he has named me as his daughter, and that is not a title to be taken lightly. it's one that crushes me beneath his grace and drowns me in redeeming love. it's one that fills up all the holes and breaks in my with his glory. this is the identity and name that i forget when the world, my pride and the devil fill up my vision instead of him. this the minefield that i am a bloodied casualty of when i go defenselessly blundering into it in anger or fear or laziness. it is a sacred and intimate role that jesse has as my husband to remind me of my name and to point my back to my inheritance of jesus. getting this role right is pretty much the hardest and best part about being married.

mostly i just love how this is a song about marriage that doesn't deify the one you love, but instead the one who first loved us. it's not a song we sit and listen to while we stare in adoration at each other. it's one that we sing side-by-side as we praise the god who gave us a partner for the small time that we have to live in this war zone, and who, more importantly, authored the story and paid the price that mean we don't have to stay in it forever.

thanks lacey, thanks andrew, thanks jesse.

thanks jesus.


  1. and thank you for your heart and honesty.

  2. Love it!!! You know he's coming to play at Southwest soon...we should all go to the concert :)

  3. I love this post and your thoughts on the song. It leaves me teary eyed everytime I listen. You are a fantastic writer, and I always look forward to your posts.

  4. So love this post, Keight. Thankfully, Jesus is there to pick us up when we fall down, dust us off, encourage us, and put us back in the game. Praying for you (and me) that we'll choose to win the war, rather than slug things out (with words) to win every battle. Love you.