it's taboo

one of our fave things to do on vacation is play board games with the harpers. we like cranium, but can't play every night because i jesse and i are ALWAYS on separate teams (because as a pair, we are literally unbeatable...that's both a fact and a challenge to any takers) and being opponents with him makes me sweaty and enraged when there's a rules infraction or a close game (i am wretchedly competitive and if you've ever seen me lose civilly, it's because i was faking because i am ugly when i cry bitter tears and didn't want you to see). well, as unstoppable as jesse and i are as teammates, we are twice as horrible as opponents (hmmmm, i am sensing a nugget of marriage wisdom somewhere in there).

so taboo is another more low-key favorite. this round saw me and donovan (middle harper) teamed up against jesse and grayson. the point of taboo is to get your partner to say the key word on the card. the catch is that, as the clue giver, there are 5 words that are taboo and that you cannot use while trying to describe the key word.

triple scoop of harperinos

one turn, one of my cards was "bladder." the taboo words were something like: pee, gall, organ, kidney and something else, maybe. something like those. they are usually the most obvious words you would want to use to describe the key word.

so being the lateral-thinking wordsmith that i am, this was no sweat and i went with this line of clues, "ok, mine is getting smaller and smaller because i am pregnant and the baby is on it all the time and that's why i have to use the bathroom like a million times a day."

easy, right? oh no, not for our sweet, sweet donovan.
here's where you should know that he is like the coolest 17 year old ever, and he is really smart, but he is not exactly street smart. this is FINE with everyone involved with rearing him. i want him to be 100% surprised by every single thing that may go on, show up, or pop out on his wedding night. but, that being the case, anatomy is not don's strong suit right now. and female anatomy scares the pants firmly ONTO him (and damn well better keep doing so for a long time).

so i am giving my clues and don gets this sheepish look on his face like he wants to say something but knows it's bad, like a child asked to repeat a cuss word. i am confused because it's just "bladder;" spit it out already! i am not trying to get you to say some racial epithet or curse your mother.

he gets a little red, and starts stifling laughter as he barely audibly chuckles, "is it 'vagina?'" and he has this look on his face like just saying that word might conjure a 7-foot tall one into existence to demolish us all like some gynecological voldemort on a rampage.

i promptly i lost all control of my not-vagina.

no honey, it isn't vagina. unfortunately, that is not on the list of things that get smaller and smaller due to pregnancy. i am not sure any body parts besides bladder are on that list. definitely none of my parts at least.


  1. LMFAO!!! I read this post to Brian :-)

  2. omg....hahaha...that is the best laugh of the day! thank you :)

  3. Knowing Donovan, I truly enjoyed this post and I can see how this could easily happen!!! TOO funny!He is adorably innocent....