not as in holding my baby, unfortunately. more like the holding pattern we find ourselves in.

i haven't been on here in a few days because i am sick. judah had a little cold all last week, nothing serious, but lots of snot and coughing, much of which was directed straight into my face at various times. well some of those little projectile vermin made their way through my outer defenses and are now assaulting my immune system. one of the last things i want is to feel like this while trying to labor and probably the very last thing i want is to be up in little girl's face with any kind of transferable germs.

so i have been home and in bed for about the last 70 hours. ha. bedrest. isn't that what you do when you want the baby to stay in longer? sweet, sweet irony. this is what i get in return for trying to vigorously moon-bounce her out on saturday afternoon at our nieces' birthday party (all that accomplished was some pants-pee and knocking judah over about a dozen times).

my doctor checked me on friday and actually offered to turn my next appointment (which was scheduled for yesterday) into an induction. i said, no thanks, i had a horrible time with pitocin last time. and he said, well, we could just do the epidural first thing and then start the pitocin and you'd never feel a thing. so.very.tempting. maybe next time. i so so so want the full no-interventions experience that i almost got last time. but man that was tempting.

it stings to know i could be holding her right now if i had said yes. and then of course there's all the worries that something could happen between now and then and make me second-guess myself for the rest of my life. am i being selfish? seems weird to think that wanting to feel every pain, push and sensation of childbirth could be selfish, but i have a little bit of that going on right now. but i guess she's cool where she is anyway or she would have made her displeasure known by now.

the house is uncharacteristically clean, the cars have gas, i have tied up all the loose ends at work, and lots of folks guessed the 9th or 10th in the baby pool. now-ish (as i am hopefully getting over this sickness) would be a great time to think about making your appearance, miss thing. or maybe you're just like mommy and have your own strong ideas about how things should go. lord help us.


  1. Oooh, I'm sorry you are feeling sick! I hope you are able to get some rest before Miss Layla comes.

  2. As someone who has gone through 2 no-interventions natural births and then had to be induced with baby #3- I had to say the natural, no-epidural births were MUCH, MUCH better! My experience with induction (as well as quite a few moms I have talked with) was much more painful and miserable than natural childbirth. I think you are making the right decision! :) Hang in there!

  3. it is not selfish to want a natural birth! from what i have read it is healthier for the babe for it to come on naturally :) hope things go the way you want them to!

  4. Just a thought for encouragement: bedrest has actually never been proven to prolong pregnancy! All the evidenced based literature (yes, I'm a nerd) shows that when we put preterm labor patients on bedrest it actually doesn't do anything significant for extending the pregnancy and if the the body is going to go into labor there is not much that can stop it. So rest (pun intended) assured that you're not prolonging Layla's time in the oven by staying in bed to recover from your illness. I wish you a speedy recovery and will pray we meet in L&D this week. Thursday would be great because I'm working that day. ;-)

  5. I so want you to have a natural birth also. Your body knows when sweet Layla is ready to come out.

  6. Just a few more days!! How wonderfully crazy is that. I keep checking blog/facebook for updates. I can't wait to see the pics of little Layla in your arms. I hope she's just like you, because you're wonderful!


  7. she must come soon!! and yes dont give in. you are going to have the best natural childbirth of all time and i cant wait to hear every single detail.

  8. Ok so my sister-in-law (who was due the same day as you with her second child) had her baby today - a girl 7 lbs 13 oz. Are you in labor yet? Just wondering because of your lack of presence on facebook.... praying that if you're in labor it's going well and that if you're not layla will come naturally and very soon.