2.09.2010

judah's an outtie!

it's official: today marks the day that judah will have spent more days in the outside world than he did gestating inside my uterus. from the estimated day of conception to his birthday was 260 days. from his birthday until yesterday was 260 days. naturally, we wanted to celebrate this momentous, if unusual, milestone.
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we decided to have a little "coming out" party for the bug to celebrate the fact that he has now spent more time as a human baby than he did as a fetus. to do this we decided to go back and recreate the moment he "crossed over" ("exploded through" may be a better term for it). note, this was a lot less creepy when we were just talking about it and before we actually did it. if you're squeamish about birth stuff, you may want to skip this post, even though there's nothing graphic, the analogy might be too much for you.

we didn't plan for him to be wearing that shirt, but it worked out well because during delivery, i pushed him out in about 2 minutes flat. he came out so fast i think he left tread marks in the birth canal. turbo indeed


here's where we take this thing too far: the recreation/party cake. as you can see, judah (plastic bug toy-friend) is nestled happily in the uterus (angel food cake), surrounded by amniotic fluid (cool whip) and held securely in place by the cervix (strawberries)


in case you were thinking of becoming an OB/GYN, here's what your vantage point may often be. thought you should know


judah remembers the day...

he's crowning! i can see the head!


if you've heard us tell the birth story (which he haven't written about yet since jesse hasn't finished his post and i haven't started one), you will know the significance of this picture.

i knew that doing unmedicated childbirth would be hard. but i also knew that once i had delivered his head that the truly horrifying and difficult part was over and all that was left was a painless and easy push to get his whole body delivered. this turned out to be VERY true. so true, that when i was done pushing his head out, i plopped back on the pillow, knowing the true feat was done. jesse gently reminded me, um, babe, you need to push out his body. i had completely forgotten since the pain was seriously gone at that point and i was so tired (30 hours without sleep). looking back we laugh because the image of judah just waiting there must have been quite a sight. i like to say, poor guy was just sitting there wearing me like a turtleneck. thus the picture above.
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now judah starts eating the cake, so the metaphor needs to stop here because it gets super weird and cannibalistic otherwise. let's just call this practice for his birthday cake.

mmmm amniotic whip (okay, now i'll stop)

judah loves cervical berries (ok, so i am having a hard time stopping)

and whipped cream that he refused to feed himself. maybe he was creeped out by his plastic proxy-bug


it felt like he had ripped out a handful of uterus cake back on 5/25/09 as well

yup, this scene looks about like what i felt like afterwards
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it's freaking weird to me to think that judah has only been in our arms for as long as i was pregnant. it feels like pregnancy is just a dim glimmer, a blip on the radar compared to life with our little man. then again, pregnancy was mind-numbingly boring and felt like the purgatory of waiting excitedly for your most beloved relative to come up the escalator at the airport's arrivals terminal for 9 never-ending months whereas having judah has been such a blast that it has kind of flown by.
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if you're pregnant and read this post, i am sorry. like you needed reminding.
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and yes, we will be finishing off that cake for dessert tonight. it grossed even us out to eat it right afterwards.

8 comments:

  1. Thanks for the warning about not reading this post...which I obviously ignored. Although your photos were remarkably educational (for better or worse), right up there with the videos we got to watch in childbirth class. You guys are nuts!

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  2. there is absolutely no way that elliot could read that post. I'm glad there was a warning at the beginning. I enjoyed it though and I really need to hear the whole birthing story! how have I not heard that yet??

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  3. yep, too far.

    what a cute little feller, though. can't wait to meet him.

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  4. how the heck do you even come up with this stuff?! seriously, you're hilarious.

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  5. keight, I meant to comment on your delurker day, but keep forgetting. So as a Labor and Delivery nurse this post really made me laugh so I figured I'd finally "come out" today. I love reading your blog, in fact it is one of my favorites. I think if I actually knew you we'd be great friends. I originally found your blog I guess through Jesse's facebook. I went to middle and high school with him (and actually had a mad crush on him in 7th grade...along with all the other girls). I'm also Kyle Aycocks sister, who is good friends with Garrett Harper...and Bethany Burrell sang in my wedding too. See what good friends we could be! haha Anyway thanks for blogging almost everyday and being entertaining. ps-I have seen delivery rooms that kindof look like your last pic...not pretty

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  6. what are the chances that Jesse is going to finish the birth story?!

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  7. I need the holy snickers meatballs super bowl dip recipe! And I need help with couponing... are you still doing that? I suck at it! I saved $10 one time, but I spent probably $50 more than I would have ever bought altogether. I need to spend less and get more bang for my buck.

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  8. This dessert could also work for the birthday dinner (since Jackie and I were both born!!) YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

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