Home Alone

Judah got off the school bus at the wrong stop yesterday. He ended up bawling. I am thrilled that this happened and so freaking proud of my 6.5 year old.

He was supposed to get off at our church (aka Jesse's workplace) which is on the same route as home and about 2/3 of a mile away. We put a note in his folder to let everyone know about this unusal change, but there was a substitute teacher yesterday who didn't check. 

So he stayed on the bus and got off at our street like he does most Mondays. The bus drops off at the corner, maybe 20 yards from our front door. At the beginning of the year I would wait by the window and then walk out to meet him getting off. Then I started just keeping an eye out the window and stepping outside to greet him and watch him cross the street. That has progressed to complete independence where I just go about my day and he gets off the bus, crosses the street, and lets himself in 100% independently.

ASIDE: I am having a weird feeling right now because it's like "wait is this actually something to be proud of or call 'independence' in this day and age? Is that where we are?" but also simultaneously, "uh, wait, could I get in trouble for this is someone tattled on me?" WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?!

A few weeks back I had a spare key made for Judah on a total whim. We were are the hardware store getting paint and he was being a dreamy little delight. I saw the key blanks and remembered we needed a spare anyway. Then I saw they had Star Wars themed ones! I got Darth Vader for myself and Jesse yet couldn't leave little Yoda behind (even though his design wasn't as cool), so I asked if Judah would like a house key to have just in case I ever forgot to unlock the door for him. He was very excited and when we got home we practiced using the key and secured it to his back pack.

And yes, Tile is very worth it. Jesse and I are serial key misplacers. This has saved fights and money already.

When we were attaching his key we talked about how he'd probably only ever have to use it if we forgot to unlock the door for him, but how if there was an emergency or something crazy happened and Jesse nor I were home, what would he do?

After some truly whacko and concerning options from him (mostly involving punching and potions) I realized it was god that we discussed this. I suggested knocking on a few neighbors' doors to ask for help with calling us or walking all the way to church; and we decided the best first option was to grab his or Layla's iPad and wifi-call mommy or daddy. We then took the time to put pictures in our contact info so that they could both easily select us.

He has had his key for about 2 months, and that was the last time we talked about this stuff.

The first day he had his key with him and got off the bus he got mad at me for opening the door when I happened to see him coming because he had wanted to use the key. So for the rest of the week, Layla and I would lock the door when we heard the bus, stay in the house, and listen to him struggle until he was able to turn the lock and enter victoriously.

So yesterday I was out running errands with Noa and Layla and Jesse was at work. Judah came in and started doing his homework (can we talk about how great that is that with ZERO supervision he did his dang homework!!) and then he noticed things were quiet (when he tells it, he adds, "maybe toooooo quiet").

He went to the front window and saw neither car in the driveway (smart thinking!). That's when he says he first felt afraid, but then "felt powerful in his chest". I told him later how this is called adrenaline and how our bodies are made to power us up with it in scary moments. He liked the thought of Hulk juice in him.

He tried to find his iPad and couldn't, but did find Layla's in their bathroom beside the toilet (that's my girl!). He pulled up FaceTime and called Jesse. As soon as Jesse saw the call from Layla's iPad--which he knew was at home--he knew Judah had ended up there alone.

When Jesse picked up the call and Judah saw his face, the power juice in his chest dissipated, and he started sobbing, finally feeling the scariness of the situation fully now that he was safe from it (man, biology is cool).

After I got out of my class (I'm soon to be certified to lead RYH groups!) They told me what had gone down. I was instantly SO SO SO proud of my boy and felt so confident in the head he has on his shoulders. I was also incredibly grateful that we was able to process and feel and talk about the fear and sadness and power he had felt through it all as well as satisfaction from solving it on his own.

Am I glad he's safe? Yes, but he was probably never in any danger whatsoever.  I am THRILLED however that he took action, used critical thinking, and remembered what we had talked about. That is worth about 100X more to me than him being protected by circumstances this one time.

If you can't tell, we are Free-Range parents. We parent not to protect our kids from the world, but to prepare them for it. We have practiced getting separated in stores and taught them how to find helpers as well as how to spot "tricky people"  versus almost all other strangers who are happy to really help kids. We believe that talking to grown-ups gives them the experience they need to determine when a grown-up is acting shady or suspicious or asking something inappropriate of them.

Abductions and stranger danger have actually decreased over the past decades, but media coverage, social media fear-mongering (including many totally false stories) have blown it up so that even in my head--which I considered pretty level--it can feel like there are boogey men around every corner. THERE AREN'T. All the statistics say that if your child is going to be kidnapped, abused, raped or have violence committed against him or her, the OVERWHELMING odds are that it will happen at the hands of someone you or they trust.

We need to adjust our parenting energies accordingly.

All that helicopter parenting does is drastically limit the amount of time our kids practice thinking and using judgement--these aren't gifts that come with their draft card or college acceptance at 18--these are character values and neural pathways; brain muscles that have to be exercised and built up.

Otherwise we are turning 20 year old babies loose on society and calling them "adults."

There is no measurable proof that helicopter parenting makes a difference in the safety of our kids; I think there is demonstrable (if anecdotal) proof that it makes our kids less capable. Ask any high school teacher who has been in the game for decades what kind of trends they have seen in parental vs. teen responsibility and involvement. 

There was nothing I could have done to stop Judah from forgetting to get off the bus when he did (I mean beyond pinning a note to his shirt or nagging him, but even then kids are championship-level oblivious sometimes), no matter how low the helicopter flies, these are autonomous creatures we're raising and they're going to go off-plan at some point. But if the goal is to eventually have them making their own life/choices/character (living permanently off plan!) then these age-appropriate forays to independence seem vital...even if they are play-acting or controlled (not suggesting you lock the door and leave home today at bus time just to see what happens).

Tonight we are going to talk hypothetical fire scenarios. I will probably let them play with matches as a visual.

Adult in Training.

Giving Dragon Mommy the Morning Off

Things were getting bad around here. It felt like every.single.morning was the same crapstorm of asking/nagging/threatening/rushing the kids to get their basic stuff done to enable us all to get out the door. I got so tired of hearing Jesse and myself say "guys, come on!" that I was white-knuckling our corkscrew: it was a toss up between using it to shotgun a bottle of wine at 8 am versus using it to just lobotomize myself.

It's our own fault. Often Judah and Layla wake up way too early and we just phone it in and cave to get them to let us go back to sleep. "Go play iPad," we say. This is so successful at getting them out of our faces and occupied (scarily so...like Wall-E levels of screen obsession) that we let them keep playing on them while we get ourselves ready--until the last possible moment. (In case youre wondering: my parents gifted them one and we bought another on big sale to avoid bloodshed...we are those parents who gave every kid their own iPad...oh dear).

So with 20 minutes left before we have to leave for work and school no child has dressed or eaten or sanitized their bodies. Oh, and they are INDIGNANT to be asked to stop in the middle of their game/movie/hacking the FBI/whatever it is they're doing that is so crucial to their very lifeforce that the threat of having to stop so that they might ingest foodstuffs and go on living is THE MEANEST THING EVER to ask them to do. 

Wait a second! So we buy you, our 4 & 5 year old, a $300 toy, and for making you stop after an hour and a half of unrestricted play on it --to eat and be clothed and go get literate, MIND YOU--you are now angry at us and saying that life is unfair and this is the worst day ever?!?!

HERE COMES DRAGON MOMMY.

Rather than give in to the temptation to become a late-onset baby-shaker and jostle some sense into my first-world-proto-cusshole preschoolers, we decided something had to change. NO MORE ENTITLEMENT. STANDS WILL BE TAKEN! LINES: DRAWN! CAPS: LOCKED!

They are 4 and 5 and a half: they can handle chores. If this was 500 years ago they would have children of their own by now...or a cow or something, at least. They have chores when they get home from school (no play time or snack until they've put up shoes and coats and bags and lunchboxes and folders) and implementing those was so easy and effective, but for some reason we have just been the blind exasperated lunatics leading the blind spoiled freeloaders when it came to mornings.

An iPad is a modern damn marvel, the capabilities of which nation-states have fought wars over for much less throughout history. I love my kids, and they're cute and all, but I'm sorry, being my living spawn does not the god-given RIGHT to own one of these trinkets give you.

Starting today, they have to earn it. They each have a morning routine checklist to do and only when every item is done can they have iPad. I am no longer the bad guy hounding them about 12 tasks at once. Talk to the list, fools!

We are selling this as a privilege instead of a downgrade or loss of fun by saying if they get it all done, they get INFINITY time on the iPad before school. Until they realize the only way to maximize this is to wake up unholy early (a real possibility) this automatically should set a limit just because we have to be out the door by 8:25.

If they get everything done on all 5 days of the week, they will earn an allowance. $1 for each year they've been alive. Jesse balked at this being too much money, until I said, "How much would you pay stay sane...NAY how much would you pay to keep ME sane?!" because really my stress level getting ramped up is what is toxic to our household (working on it).

I made up an Excel spreadsheet because you know how I be, and we can change and add things if needed. I know these lists/sheets/boards aren't a new idea by any means, but they are revolutionary in this house so far. 

Layla's Sheet*. Complete with stock clipart? yes! because mama aint got time for cool design-y logos. Picking my battles...

We took basic human morning things like brushing teeth and wearing shoes and added a few age appropriate actual chores to the list because they need to contribute to the tribe! They put a sticker on when it's done (we dont care about the order) and for fun, I made little iPad tickets that are tear-off-able at the bottom for them to cash in for the (now locked) iPads when everything is done. They can tear off the dollar bill at the end of the week to get their paycheck. 

Day 1: stunner!

We still had to help guide them through everything today and help keep them on task, but it was so much better to say, "check your list!" rather than saying "WHERE THE FRIG ARE YOUR SOCKS?!" after telling them 6 times to put them on.   And of course the novelty will surely wear off with the stickers and tickets. I'm okay with that...we are trying to create responsible, non-jerk humans, not an actual cartoon paper currency economy. 

We love that their desire for the iPad is now the constant reminder of what they need to get done rather than our words and effort.

Judah's Sheet*. We made feeding the dogs and picking up an entire room his new jobs. He did them like it was cake. 

I could show you Noa's list but it's just a picture of boobs and poop, sooooo, nah.

These sights have never been so beautiful to me before:

Oh yeah. She's feeling it.

Veg, my hardworking contributor, VEG I SAY!

Below is a link to my actual spreadsheet if you want to download it and edit it for your kids own needs. It has the tearable tickets at the bottom and everything is sized to fit the standard little circle stickers that you'd use for garage sale prices or any other fun mini sticker...or checkmarks when stickers get old. I had to max out my margins.

Morning Kid Routines

(let me know if this doesnt work after you open and download...this is my first file-share attempt on the blog.)

They just got home and walked up to the fridge and looked at their sheets. Judah goes, "I love our new list."  And I'm all Emperor Palpatine: "Yes, my son. Yes." 

*One thing we blatantly forgot and I hope someone tries to Jesus juke/call me out on is a devotion. We have been doing the She Reads Truth ABC memory verses that we have pretty pretty flashcards for (wall sized and pocket sized for the car). They get candy when they can recite their verses...so that's separate but probably should go on the list.

Minimalism by Judah: Volume 1

I would never call Judah "artsy." He doesn't lose himself in coloring or drawing or creative projects the way some kids his age do. But sometimes, he does catch inspiration and will put a lot of focus and hard work into a project.

And then there are times when he just dashes off a few drawings in about 90 seconds and they come out kind of simple and brilliant and I am cracked up.

The first time he did this was 5 months ago during a strong Ninja Turtles period. I posted that minimalist rendition on my Instagram. 

At first glance I thought he was just being lazy and 5, but upon closer inspection I realized these are fairly thoughtful and capture the relevant details perfectly: Raph (red) is intense, therefore the mouth. Mikey (orange) is a jokester therefore the tongue. Leo (blue) is the leader and therefore was drawn first. I even love how he ended up putting their eye masks atop their heads (nothing genius there, I don't believe, just cute and gigglesome).

Well, last night we got our next installment of our little man's highly specific form of art. He called us into his room and surprised us with this batch of sketches that, again, failed to impress me at first glance, but which rocked my world when I looked at them more carefully.

 He's not huge into detail, but what he does include is pretty cool.

Am I suffering from mommy-blindness and it's NOT totally obvious who these guys are? Can you name them?

I am not wanting him to churn out many series of these--it's such a cool insight into how his little mind works!


UPDATE: Scroll down for the answer.

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It's the gang from Judah's current favorite movie, Guardians of the Galaxy (which is actually, a seriously great movie for any age...I was shocked  because I dont love Marvel).

Too bad Judah drew Chris Pratt with the mask on...and the shirt.

My Real-Life, Well-Dressed Toddler Son. Ramen + Quinoa

It's a sign of how out of it I have been that a wonderful, unexpected, priceless milestone happens for Judah this summer, and it slips my mind to blog about it.

"Hello, Posterity? This is Keight. Sorry I forgot to feed you."

It starts with Layla.

I added a little kid version of a hipster infinity scarf to my Etsy shop last fall. The cover model was this girl, who looked impossibly squnchable in her bunny print, posing like a veteran...poser?

toddler sold separately

Shortly after listing these, a customer asked about how they would look on boys, so I made Judah try one out for me and took a photo to show the customer a boy look. I also went ahead and ultra-hipster-fied him and had a full photo shoot complete with stage-mom directions in front of our house.

Because I'm 31 and was lacking any healthier hobby options, I guess.

The pics were hilarious. Somewhere between my "okay now give me Blue Steel" and his "Jeepers, Ma! I so dont want to be doing this," we landed into a pile of fabulously ironic and painfully cute poses and expressions.

I remember thinking he looked so big when I was taking these 11 months ago. Clearly I was delusional because he is TEENSY here.

But my favorite for sheer hilarity was the one I decided to post on my Instagram feed:

the duckfaced pout, the hand in pocket, the defiant chin. it's all so perfectly hipster. can't you just hear him extolling the virtues of kimchi or savagely critiquing a craft beer here?

Well my buddy, Emily, saw this pic and made a comment that, "Quinoa would love this" with hashtag #MIWDTD.

My immediate reaction to this comment was that Emily had maybe eaten some magic mushrooms becuase she surely was not making sense. But when I searched that hashtag I found a treasure of an Instagram feed belonging to the creator of the insanely viral Pinterest board: My Imaginary Well Dressed Toddler Daughter (hence #MIWDTD).

Created by  Tiffany Beveridge, the board (and Insta-feed) takes some of the more ridiculous children's fashion ads in existence and puts a story to them via brilliantly witty captions.  Like such as (...the Iraq):

Quinoa is basically the little girl who is cooler, richer, more gluten-free, and far more fashionable than you could ever hope to be. If you've heard of something, that means that she was into it, like, forever ago and is already completely over it.

So once I found the MIWDTD Instagram feed and instantly followed it, I decided to tag Judah's pic with that same hashtag too, since the boy in the pic could TOTALLY be a friend of Quinoa...or at least a  solid frenemy.  We brainstormed what his name would be: Gingham? Chai? Yolo? Nofilter? Neon? 

And then to my wild delight, Quinoa's "mom" herself popped in and commented on Judah's picture! 

Um, my child, being a hipster doofus, in a published work?! uh-duh!

So I sent her the pic and signed the release. I continued to follow Quinoa, laughing all the way (HA HA HA), and saw as the release date for the book was announced and then the advance copies went out, figuring Judah hadn't made the cut since I had never heard a final word. I wasn't too surprised since most of Quinoa's material is taken from work by real professional fashion photographers, in real ads, with much more over-the-top clothes and settings. I thought about asking Tiffany if Judah was in the book, but was too chicken to hear the rejection outright.

But the day the book came out we were by a bookstore getting dinner, and I said, well, let's go look at the book, just to be sure Judah's really not there, and buy it anyway since it's hilarious and perfect coffee table/guest bathroom reading.

I went to the front to ask for a copy and Jesse (the man) went to hunt it down without help. We both came towards each other holding the copies we had found and leafing wildly through it. 

"SHUT UP NO WAY!" I screeched. "PAGE 14 PAGE 14!!! HE'S IN HERE!"

You guys, she named him RAMEN! Just so beyond perfect as said noodles are a favorite of mine and a go-to during the rough-tum-tum weeks of pregnancy for me. 

And that caption, sheesh, she is spot on!

I was freaking out and making a slight scene screaming about him getting a FULL PAGE! and then forcing the kid to pose with the book.

Naturally we bought a copy (and so did my parents) and proudly display it in our living room (we've yet to get him to autograph it...a genius idea my dad had!). I also sat down and read the entire dang thing cover to cover in one sitting, cracking up all along the way. 

I give this book two thumbs way up (even if it weren't for page 14!), and since we donated the photo for free we see no profit for it's sales, so that is NOT why i give my thumbs.

All jokes aside, I have no intention of ever directing my kids towards modeling--even if they were "right" for it, so this was such a fun, once-in-a-lifetime thing for Judah to get to be a part of (especially since it was already done just for fun in the privacy of our own yard by the time we realized it would be published.. No stage = no stage mom potential!). He's set for life on at least one of his "two truths and a lie," and will always have a handy interesting fact about himself to put forth. 

Get a copy for yourself. Ramen/Judah will gladly autograph it for you.

Thank you, Emily for introducing me to Quinoa. Thank you, Tiffany for your rapier wit and for including us in your work. And most of all, thank you, Quinoa for being a paragon of what we should all aspire to, and for already being so totally over it by the time we caught on.

bacon peas

how about a super quick and easy recipe that will have your family members arguing over the last scoop of veggies (the actually happened last week. it was me versus judah, and i won out when i played the "the baby needs them!" card.)

judah is who i tried this recipe for the first time. he is our fussy eater. layla is down to party with whatever weird thing crosses her plate, but i have seen judah gag himself to barfing over a single mac n' cheese elbow (what child is this?!?!).

so imagine my surprise when he fell HARD for an english pea dish. the first time i had made these was last summer, and for some reason i forgot their huge success and didnt really make them again. and then judah joined a little pee-wee soccer league this spring and on his first day of practice they went around and said their name and their favorite food. i was shocked and thrilled when judah chirped out "bacon peas!" i couldnt believe that he remembered them from that long ago OR that i hadnt made them a part of the regular rotation since then.

they are now back in play enough that i was able to take a few pics so that i could share the love in hopes of reaching other families with VAC (vegetable averse children) syndrome.

BACON PEAS:

INGREDIENTS  (can you guess?) 

-center cut bacon (4-6 slices, depending on how much you love it)
-a bag of frozen english peas (our family of 4 can take down a whole bag in one sitting, less aggessive folks may have leftovers)

DIRECTIONS:

1. cook the peas according to directions, set aside
2. start cooking your bacon in a skillet (not on a flat griddle)
3. when bacon is alllllllmost cooked crisp, pull it out and set aside to cool/drain on paper towels.
4. pour your cooked peas into the bacon pan (you should have a nice lil' puddle of bacon grease)
5. stir peas so that everyone gets a little greased up.
6. crumble your bacon strips into bits and toss in with the peas
7. stir a few times and then remove from heat, drain any extra grease, and serve. salt to taste.

am i a little embarrassed that my family would not eat green peas until i started cooking them in bacon fat? maybe. but mostly i'm just loving plowing through these myself. and when you think about it it's barely one slice of bacon (and, yes, its fat) per person. 

the bacon taste doesnt completely take over the peas; so it isnt like you're just eating hot, bacon-flavored dippin' dots. you still definitely taste the yummy green peas primarily, but they just seem so much more happy with their delicious, meaty partner in there with them giving them a charred, smoky taste rather than just the "boiled veggie" vibe they were giving off before.

lofty ambition: going up!

it's finally time. time to make pretty the magical room of wonders, aka "the playroom/judah and layla's shared bedroom." 

i was pretty pleased with us for pulling off the skeleton and function of this room last january, and was a-okaywith putting off making it pinterest-worthy cute for a few months until i could decide on and get the motivation to do it right. no more! 

and, YOU GUYS, it turns out that waiting was a brilliant move, because now i have gotten the opportunity to team up with IKEA Atlanta to finish this room in style. seriously. this is a big deal that i am BEYOND excited for. if youve been here for like 2 nanoseconds, you know my undying love of IKEA, so the fact that this partnership is happening makes me squealy loco beyond measure. 

i'm feeling very "david after the dentist" about the whole affair. IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?!?!

there are some fundamental challenges to solve in this room from the get go:

1. STORAGE: there is no closet. because the kids sleep in there. 

2. SPACE: this room is not big even for a single bedroom. at about 110 square feet, we're going to need some magic to make it a pretty and functional multi-use room for active and growing kidlets

so before i even set foot in IKEA, i knew we'd need to DIY ourselves some vertical space. i've said it before,  but the maximization of vertical space is my love language. our house may be tiny, but it has vaulted ceilings. so how can we use this to our advantage in the kids' room/playroom?

let's find out together, shall we?

BEFORE:

 as you walk in, this wall is to your immediate left. a good 8 feet of vertical NOTHING. that's a LOT of space the tiny little 3 foot minions could be using.

i decided: WE NEED A PLAY LOFT UP THURR!

so while i was at work one wednesday, i ghetto-designed a plan for that space that would give about 21 extra square feet (not much but a big deal when youre only starting with 110) of play/read/chill area and add some unexpected and unique adventure funk to the boring room.

i had no idea how much this would cost, if jesse had the skillz to pull off the carpentry, or if we would ever finish it (since our kids sleep time is when we DIY).

jesse is wonderbot. wednesday night while i was at girls group he went and got the materials (for $70 total!!!) and on thursday morning, layla had this set up welcoming her for her birthday!

ready, set, everyone freak out about safety. it was like 2 seconds, and this was not the finished product. (we took the fan blades off too after big mommy got stuck in them on her way up the ladder, like some vertical subway turnstile of hilarity. Also I was pantsless when this happened thank your lucky stars it wasn't photographed)

by friday afternoon jesse had created THIS:

can you even handle it? (if not, there are built in handles right there. #awesomejoke)

this joker is beyond safe. jesse and i both got up there and jumped around to be sure it was ultra-secure. we almost didnt come down because of FUNNNNNNNN (and because no one brought up a pee jar).

fun space above, play and storage below. its like we created shelves to store our tiny people on!

little rapunzel (que apropos!!) took the first climb up the tower. (in her polyester nightmare of a disney nightgown that she picked out on her birthday the night before, despite all of my steering her toward way cuter stuff...she may get married wearing this dress)

 let down your HAY-UR!

it must be noted that judah is terrified of this thing. jesse, in a rookie move, taught him the phrase "afraid of heights" and he has been invoking it nonstop against all my cajolings to try to get him up there. at first he just kept saying "there needs to be a rug up there" and i thought he just didnt like the hard smoothness. but now he is locked and loaded with the acrophobia and staying put.

he came all the way up once with (aka ON) me when i threw the iPad and some cookies up there the first day it was completed, but the lil' baby bird was shaking the whole time, his heart all aflutter. so i havent even mentioned it to him since then (cant be giving him a complex!).

he loves the ladder and the jumping-off-of-it-onto-people opportunities it affords him.  he had only gone up the the 3rd step on his own. i would say, "do you think you can get to level 4?" and he'd always say no. well he finally made it to level four 3 days ago, but he has decided that since he IS four, he will wait until he's five to go up another rung. 

mark your calendars: may of 2016 he is scheduled to reach the loft itself.

so thats our first step towards making this room a stone cold stunner. 

we will probably post a tutorial on how we made/secured this beast soon, as well as plenty o' more progress as it progresses. 

dukes out.

ps a million thanks and hugs and free beers to you all for the outpouring of love on my previous post. the emails, comments, texs, fb messages and just general love and empathy i got from yall blew me away and carried me through. hands and feet of jesus, i tell ya.

Trick or Treat: Take a Peek

we are getting some questions about this year's family costume plan. to be honest, i had sort of hoped that everyone had just forgotten we ever did that these past 4 years so that we'd be off the hook this year and could just dress the kids up in store-bought whatever.  and then jesse and i could for once look like normal, sane human adults at the church trunk-or-treat fall festival event we always attend. 

no such luck. i guess i was delusional to think i could ever in my life dress up like a 5'7 bottle of soy sauce and that anyone would forget it. as much as i was feeling uninspired and overwhelmed as recently as yesterday about this year's halloween getups, i am glad my friends prompted/pressured me  because we got an thunderbolt  idea last night that the kids were excited about, that is mildly unique and that could be DIY'd on the cheap and with my limited tailoring skills.

today we hit up goodwill for some elements we didnt already own. this outing culminated in the most epic judah meltdown in the history of judah.--the boy AND the kingdom--which is saying a lot about how bad today was for the boy, because whoa-golly the kingdom really knew how to melt down, yall. we brought our bounty home and i got sewing.

in the interest of fun, and to celebrate me actually planning and working ahead of october 31st, i thought i'd give yall a little sneaky peeky of one element from one family member's costume to see if anyone can pull off a super-sleuthing and guess our ensemble. last time i did this guessing game was in 2009 for sushi fam and despite my teaser pics being SO obscure, my buddy (and HUGE encourager!) alicia nailed it via her hubby's guess. so i am going to try to be extra withholding (i think!) this time so that i dont feel dumb when the first person nails it. 

here's your one hint (not telling who this is for).

alright so what is this? and what costume is it a part of? and what does that make the other 3 costumes in the family? anyone who nails all 4 of our 10/31 identities based on this photo wins 8 stanley nickels!

i scream

it became a family tradition over the summer to go out for ice cream after dinner once or twice a week. technically, it was yogurt, or yoghurt if you feel fancy and want to use the kings english or perhaps fro-yo if you want me to punch you square in the mouth. once i figured out how to beat that newfangled tricky "pay per ounce" racket they've got going, it became a [semi]solid treat that got us out of the house on weeknights and made me no fatter than a bowl of cheerios would (TCBY white chocolate mousse....that's that only way to fly). 

of course it may have also contributed to judah having a cavity at his first dentist appointment yesterday, but he rocked the laughing gas like a pro, got his filling, a pair of sunglasses, a fake mustache set, a telescopic wand, and naturally loved the whole experience (i mean, who wouldnt). so i am officially a fan of the kiddie dentist, yall. i do wonder how judah will feel on christmas morning when santa brings him a piece of paper that says "general anesthesia and a composite filling back in october were your BIG gifts! ho, ho ho!" 

FTR: layla utterly punked out and refused to let anyone come near her. she was straight up J Edgar Hoover up in that joint, eyeing anyone who came within 4 meters of her with unadulterated suspicion.  she would be squarely IN my lap but if her proximity klaxons were triggered she would try to climb UP me as if to be MORE in my lap, or possibly inside of me. it was like dealing with a baby lemur in a room full of wolves (?...what is the natural predator of a lemur?).

we did manage to get her to just open up for the tool-free dentist to have a looksee. he instantly pegged us as paci enablers. her bite is HORRIBLE. this is sad because neither jesse or i needed braces (though i had them because a family friend was an orthodontist and we got them for free just to fine tune me...thanks, buddy!) and were blessed with great spacing and bite. these attributes are the shining stars of our gene pool and we have managed to undo it by drugging our baby with a rubber nipple. luckily, it will self-correct if we get her clean (again!) before her next molars come in. 

anyhow, since it has been awhile since the munchkins got any blog love, here's a smattering of pics from one ice cream outing we took in september and some of their quotes/interests/behavior from lately.

um, why did all the people who warned me about teenage girl drama neglect to mention a close rival: four year old boy drama! judah is hilariously sensitive, fashion-obsessed, and prone to soap-opera level outbursts of emotion. 

he is so very particular about what he wears and it changes from week to week so you can never be sure what is a solid go-to and what is basically the equivalent of asking him to wear soiled toilet paper. one day i forced him to wear a button up shirt to church (i think jesse was preaching so i cared a little more). afterward we went to lunch where we ran into a friend of his. the friend was feeling very shy and wouldnt talk to judah at first. judah came running up to me and said, "logan ignored me. i KNEW i shouldn't have worn this outfit!" i about died. 

this girl. um, there really just arent words for how freaking hilarious and sweet and sassy she is. she could play pretend for hoooooooooours. no toys necessary; just you and her and a million scenarios where she is a baby fox or you are a monster. god forbid you play with her in close confines before you've brushed your teeth, though. girlfriend wastes no time asking, "wha da tink? da yo breff?" why, yes layla it is. maybe if you werent one millimeter away from my face 2 seconds after i have woken up, it wouldnt be so TINKY.

she seems to have inherited her mommy's penchant for turning a beautiful phrase. the other night, completely serious, she told jesse in response to him telling her she couldnt have a marshmallow,  "you a penis face." FIRST: let me assure you she has nevvvvvvvver heard us say this, and we only use the word penis in its correct anatomical sense. i had to turn and exit the room and let jesse try to keep a straight face and explain to her why we dont use words in that way.

all of a sudden this kid can write and name any letter that he sees. it's insane to watch a child becoming literate. he has always been a bit behind his classmates (late birthday, he's a boy, just because) in the fine motor skills used in writing and drawing, but just in the first two months of the school year, his penmanship has exploded and is really very nice and tidy, and he can spell any word that he sees so loud and proud and fast. 

on sunday he wanted to go into big church with me for the music before going into his class. we were singing a song with the lyrics up on the screen as always. it was a quiet, slow song and i was simultaneously mortified and tickled when he started SCREAMING out the individual letters as the words flashed by on the screen during the oh so introspective "amazing grace." we had to high-tail it out of there at that point (i told him we were going to get a treat from daddy's office for his awesome spelling). 

layla has picked up some funny syntax. if you tell her something we are going to do or something she needs to do, she likes to reply, "why not?" it's very jarring. she doesnt mean it like, "sure, why not!" so i will say, "lay, let's go brush your hair." and she will go "why not?"  and i am just like, "what? no, um. huh? that question makes no sense." how do you explain to a 2 year old that that phrase can only fittingly go in response to a negative statement? i think she uses it now just to bring me up short. #winner

the thing about have kids 17 months apart? well, everyone says they'll be best buddies. but this didnt kick in for a looooong time. i would say 2.5 and 4 have been the magic ages where they're finally becoming playmates and equals. i am astounded every time i come upon a scene where they are having a conversation or doing the back and forth of real play together. i feel all Mr. Burns-like: "yes, it's finally working! exxxxxxcellent!"

the other day i was getting ready for a party while jesse went to pick up the babysitter. i had tried on a dress and needed to take it off. in some freakish MC Escher turn of events, i somehow physically could not unzip myself, despite having just zipped myself in. my shoulders would not bend the right way or something. so i went to judah and asked him to unzip me. he gave it a tug (with only one hand and no supporting other hand beside the zipper) and declared that it was too hard. i coached him a bit, telling him it was a tricky zipper (one of those invisible ones that are hard to pull anyway) but that he could definitely do it. he tried one more time and then shook his head, "i just cant do it, mommy. this is a mighty one."

ah, so mighty.

laylaisms: 

cuhmote: remote control

tee-wah-wah: tiara

pin-cess wahna: princess wand

tu-tu: any skirt

cocoa pops: any cereal

carly and lo-lo "charlie and lola"

this kid has suuuuuuuch the tender heart. one morning i was sorting laundry and judah randomly told me that he "didnt really like me". i told him that that was kind of hurtful to say to someone out of the blue and that i loved him so much but that my heart was a little sad. i decided to just move on though, and a few minutes later i noticed him kneeling on the rug a few feet away from me with his head down against the carpet. i asked him what he was doing and he said, "i'm just sittin' here and trying to think of how to cheer you up." it was really eye-opening since i hadnt been trying to put a guilt trip of any kind on him and had truly moved on after telling him about my initial feelings. the fact that he took it upon himself to make me feel better told me a lot about his heart and how readily he would take responsibility for someone else's emotions. i feel like i learned a really important lesson in how to parent this particular child in that moment. note to self: do NOT try to manipulate judah's behavior with guilt trips!

i, too, am a very serious grapeviner

we may have a master manipulator on our hands with little ladypie. if i tell her no she cant have/do something, she almost invariably says, "my daddy said i could" (ironically, THIS would be the perfect time for her to drop a "why not?"). she does the opposite thing when its jesse telling her no "mah mommy said yes". if claiming permission from the non-present parent doesnt work, or if we have to discipline her for something, she will go outside the immediate family. her favorite names to invoke as she wails for justice are "I WANT......" grandaddy, garrett (her beloved bruncle), caleb (a fellow two year old and her best friend), and waffle (a deceased cat). the only one of those who WOULD take her side is caleb...so we're good.

one morning while he was freaking out about not being able to wear the same shirt he had worn to school the day before, we had a heartbreaking peek into how satan is already trying to lie to judah. we had told him his mickey shirt was dirty and he'd have to chose something else. this devolved so quickly in his head and suddenly he said, "this is my number one nightmare! i wont wear something cool to school and all the kids will call me a silly ballerina boy!" jesse and i were flabbergasted. we asked if he had seen that situation happen on a show or if anyone he knew had ever called him names. he said no, that had never happened in real life, but he was insistent that this was his "#1 nightmare." it was heartbreaking to hear the fear he had for this kind of cruelty or ostracizing ever happening to him, even in the hypothetical.

note to self: build up this kids inner worth and never, even playfully, mock his appearance or masculinity.

layla does this heart-warming thing lately where when i sing her her bedtime song (usually L-A-Y-L-A to the tune of bingo was his name-o) and i am resting over her propped up on my elbows, she reaches up, grabs my neck, and pulls me ohsoclose to her until i am smothered in pillow-fluffand in love. smushed cheek to cheek with her. this is all the more touching because she went through a phase there where she really didnt like to show affection to me. getting her to hug or kiss me or even say i love you was hard and it was taking a toll on my heart. rather than getting upset or forcing it, i just decided to ignore it and pour more of my love into her. it totally worked gangbusters on my little spitfire and i am getting 200% more snuggle output these days.

yum. three scoops, please!

we went to a fall family festival at our church last weekend (i was giddy with glee because fall festivals are my favorite!). within 3 minutes of arriving, the kids had had popcorn, cotton candy, and played a game where they eat a powdered donut and then get a candy reward once they eat it successfully. it was loco junk food heaven. after a few hours judah came over to sit by me and was rubbing his tummy. he said "i think i had too many goodies, mommy." and i was like, yeah, that sounds about right. and he goes, "why am i talking so slowly?" like a drugged little zombie. well, probably because you are super close to barfing, buddy. 

there are two horses that live in a pasture on our road. layla wanted to name them chocolate and vanilla (one is brown and one is white). judah wanted to name them thunder and lightning. so we compromised and now we greet Chocolate Lightning and Vanilla Thunder several times each day. i soon after decided that Vanilla Thunder would be my alias if i ever became a spy...or a stripper.

yup. that's about right.

re: his fashion sense, when judah dresses himself, he will always first go check himself out in the full length mirror, and then he asks, "do i look totally awesome, mommy?" and just this morning, he was not excited about having to wear a jacket so he told me, "i dont think this jacket and these shoes go." um, has he been sneaking in to watch what not to wear reruns at night? 

note to self: these kids are mind-boggling little treasures and i refuse to wish any of this stage away.

so young, so restless.

these two: a soap opera in swaddling baby gap clothes, i tell you.

my timestamps tells me this series of events happened in 18 seconds, start to finish.

that seems about right.

until our next emotional roller coaster....18 seconds from now.