3:00 pm-pick judah up from babysitter where he is staying after preschool while daddy is out of town. gleefully realize that lena will be at my house when i get home to help me with him so that may sleep and vomit in peace.
3:13 pm-receive text from lena indicating she has just read the blog and remembered jesse is gone. she has forgotten about me and judah.
3:14 pm-i deftly execute a killer text guilt-trip to impel lena to still come down and bring me taco bell as penance.
4:00 pm- lena and tacos arrive. faces are stuffed.
5:00 pm- judah wakes up from a nap that strangely began with full out blood-curdling screams before he just abruptly dropped right off to dreamland. lena takes him for a walk. i go to bed.
6:09 pm- i wake up in raging pain because my quesadilla has decided to go through puberty in my stomach and grow to at least 3 times its original size. it hurts. make it stop.
7:04 pm-i put judah down after a nice long bath that was for the first free from tub-poop fear thanks to our stock of lil' swimmers pool diapers (judah in the tub with a diaper on=weird. not cleaning up soggy turds after a bath=awesome). i tell lena she totally doesn't need to spend the night because once he's down he's really easy. lena decides to order a pizza before heading home (since she for some reason didn't eat dinner at 4 pm like i did. i am still in actual pain from the speed at which i ate taco bell and her recitation of her toppings brings the bile way up to the tippy top of my esophagus.
8:03 pm- just as we are sitting around bored and watching american idol i happen to stumble onto facebook where a message from my realtor is waiting: she couldn't get ahold of jesse and doesn't have my number, we have a showing scheduled for tomorrow (thursday) at 6:30 pm. quickly realizing that thursday is my day to work until 6 and jesse won't be home from orlando until 8, it hits me that that means i have to have the entire house cleaned and ready to impress (aka just not repulse) the visitors when we leave in the morning. at this point the house is a cheerio-encrusted dust bomb and the yard is totally jumanji.
8:05 pm-i retract lena's option of going home and tell her she is now required to spend the night and help clean my house. we spring immediately into action. first up: the lawn. light is failing and we can't start the lawnmower. over to the next door neighbors to borrow theirs (luckily they don't answer the door with a gun like they usually do after dark). rather than loaning us the mower, our sweet neighbor saddles up and proceeds to mow our entire lawn herself because it's not safe for me to bounce around on a lawnmower with a baby in my stomach. you say baby, i say tacos...whatever.
8:16- lena and i tackle the pollen-drenched patio with the hose and the backyard flora with the weedwacker. meanwhile the 14 year old boy scout son of the neighbor is soliciting more aid, asking if he can go inside and dust or fold our laundry (whaaaa?) he hilariously keeps calling lena "elena" and asking me for double A batteries. how is this helping us, justin!!?!?!
yeah, little drooly-dirty paws, go ahead and touch it all you want. i'll just windex that daily until the housing market takes off again.