you have GOT to be kidding me

so the little biter only comes to judah's school 2 days a week. she was there last friday (clearly) and i assume that her other day is wednesday since she bit him AGAIN this week. you will notice the tone of this post is a wee-bit less understanding than the first time around. i want to give grace, but i'm having a hard time. this time i'm frustrated with the teachers for not preventing this...freaking renesme is 2 for 2 in her last two days at school.

and this is on my son, DAMMIT! and this time she broke the skin big time.
master dukes, please show the court the extent of the injuries that the defendant inflicted upon you in her cold-blooded, premeditated, sociopathic rampage (over reaction):
look at that face. he's indignant! at first i was like, how did she get such a tiny area of his hand in between her teeth?
oh, that's how. she had my son's entire pinkie in her vile mouth!
aaaaaaaand, cue murderous rage, take two. frustrated doesn't even really begin to cover it. apparently there was a new teacher in there who didn't know about the existing situation and let them get close (please note my stony silence after that sentence). why this toddling piranha hates judah so much is anyone's guess since she doesn't bite any other kid EVER.

now they tell us that she will never be allowed to be around judah again and that one more bite and she's gone. i obviously want her gone TODAY and don't want my son to be the recipient of the 3rd bite in a week. she is in class with him today and so help me if he gets bit i am gonna regulate on...well, on someone.

that. looks. HORRIBLE. we are disinfecting it often since this little female puppy is clearly rabid

ok i am shutting up about this subject before i get really worked up. here are some folks who do NOT bite judah:

this is jesse's little sister elena. she is 24 and has down syndrome. she is the sweetest, funnest, coolest kid EVAH! we adore her

i hang out with her every monday to provide respite care for the dukes. i often take her to the grocery store since monday is grocery day, but it's not a super-fun time because she either gets bored or points to everything on the shelves and says "dat mah fav-rit." its great practice for when my kids inevitably want me to buy everything there. so this time i had a strategy to make it fun for both of us. we got the big racecar cart and she sat in the bin. we went to the magazine aisle first and got about 5 of her favorites (brides, country living, motorcycles [dat mah fav-rit], etc) and then she camped out in the front while i piled groceries in the seat section where the little kids would sit.

the craziest thing was that i was kind of afraid that someone would mistake her for a misbehaving adult and get us in trouble before i could explain. so i'm over by the deli shopping for hummus (yummus!) and this worker comes running up behind us saying, "excuse me ma'am!" i was like, oh great, here we go. then she says, "do you think she would like a chicken tender?" i almost DIED.

chicken fingers are one of elena's great loves in life so the fact that we didn't get in trouble AND she chased us down to give us what she couldn't possibly have known was elena's favorite food was AH-MAZING. she also told us we could go to the bakery and get her a cookie! by the time we rolled into frozen foods elena had kicked back in the cart with her feet propped up and out of the front and her jacket behind her head, reading magazines and enjoying her cookie. that is some serious VIP grocery store treatment. we had also discussed the merits of various wedding gowns, racing motorcycles and living room decor themes. it was AWESOME!

judah's aunt elena is so good with him and has certainly never bitten him. ahem, just so we're clear.

that brings me to our next friend who doesn't bite. if anyone could be expected to maybe lash out against judah with a little dental force, it's our cat, danger. judah is obsessed with him (he couldn't care less about scout, the other cat who jesse and i can't stand and who actually bit elena once). meals come to a stop when danger-pants saunters by (hence the foodface above). danger is quite feisty with me and jesse but he is ridiculously gentle with judah despite the whisker-tugging, flank-slamming, ear-ripping treatment that judah gives him. plus the occasional jugular/abdominal pin-down:

gooooooood kitty


  1. judah is very obviously planning retaliation against daycare bitch. danger is simply facilitating revenge - he knows what's up.

  2. That girl should be kicked out of the school immediately! Her mouth is full of germs that could cause infection! I'll quit my job and take care of Judah... and have a baby so he will learn social skills and won't be lonely. And I'll move closer to you, so I don't have a bad commute. Deal?

  3. I am enraged right along with you!! And shocked that they didn't pass that vital piece of information on to the new teacher! Thankfully you know most of these folks (and I won't even begin to tell you the horrors the boys inflicted on each other at HOME, no less!) All the more reason I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

    I'm really glad the school has the 3 strikes rule...that would be horrible to have to think about 2 days a week. Judah and the cat is precious--looks like he's ready for prime time wrestling.

    LOVE the post about Elena--how hilarious is that! So glad you enjoy her funny little ways, and go with the flow. She is blessed to have such wonderful creative and caring family. We can go off in peace, knowing she is well loved. The cart is awesome...did you get a pic of the 'kick back' mode?

  4. Poor Judah! Livi is often times the victim of violence at her Mom's Morning Out program...the issue here is that the bully is the daughter of one of my best friends! So it's really awkward! Livi's been scratched down the back with a stick (broke the skin and bled like a river), poked in the eye (scratched cornea requiring prescription eye drops!), pushed, pulled, hit, kicked, bit, deprived of toys, etc. I finally had a pow wow with the teachers and said that if it continued we'd be taking Livi out of the class. How hard is it to keep 2 kids apart? I've taught before, I can easily tell them how to do it! Ahhhh! I feel so bad for Judah, he looks like the sweetest little cutie pie, breaks my heart! Seriously talk to the teachers and don't hold back. If a bite breaks the skin, it had to be pretty bad - he had to have cried, they had to have known, and they didn't tell you?!?! I'd be po'd!
    Hope things get sorted out!

  5. Ok I'm trying to comment thing again. I have several. 1. You are quick on the email/blog commenting missy! Very impressive. 2. Same situation happened to one of my friends who is the associate pastor of a church- except his kid was the one doing the biting. Yikes! 3. If this post doesn't work I will scream. 4. Loved seeing you and getting felt up by Judah.

  6. If it makes you feel better, I went through at a biting stage at age 3 and would only bite one person: he was my best friend... not that I'm saying it's ok, but maybe she has a hard time showing her love? Maybe? Ok, maybe not

  7. No bites today. Left you a message on Facebook.

  8. Here's one way your blog brings others together - I told my mother in law about your story and she shared (albeit after I married her son) that Harry was the bitter in his class. All biting on Harry's part stopped when another kid finally bit him back! Now, I doubt Judah has this in him so I am willing to volunteer my husband to bite this bitch...just let me know. P.S. I am so sorry this happened.

  9. DS and Iboth got a laugh out of eXtreme kitty wrestling! Nice take-down, Judah!

  10. i was going to make a joke about taking a bite out of crime or something, but i think i will pass. N8 WUZ HERE.

  11. This just occured to me...I think you can make a strong case that Judah has been bitten three times, thus this girlie should be gone. Once on the head and it looks like there are two spots on his finger...loophole?

  12. I loved reading about you and Elena at the grocery store. Was it Kroger or Publix? They deserve a nice letter, because that is exceptional treatment. You are such a great sister to her, and mad props for creativity with the magazines!

    And as for the little biting-Betty. Someone needs to bite her for real! This is even more incentive to move back home to start 'the tribesman daycare'!

  13. I really love that you, a parent, are referring to another toddler as a bitch. what is WRONG with YOU? Seriously. Kids bite. Toddlers bite. It happens. Kids get hurt, that's life. I'm sure your son has long since recovered from and forgotten about the bites he received back when this blog was posted, but you'll have to live with the fact that you're a horrible person who considers toddlers being toddler to be evil, vile creatures. Maybe you're the one who should take their child out of daycare, since obviously you're struggling to accept that LIFE HAPPENS. Get over yourself.

    love, a toddler teacher

    1. yikes. this is a pretty hateful comment, but to be fair, i am actually pretty embarrassed that i wrote this post like this 3 years ago.

      we are in a much different place now, as parents of 2 toddlers, and not just our first, over-protected, infant child. i hate that i used the word "bitch" (since changed) since i despise that word used on women, and obviously on little girls. i love sassy little girl toddlers.

      we also know now how hard it is to control a willful toddler, so i have infinitely more grace for the parents and teachers in this situation.

      a human bite really is a foul wound, but never the less, i wish i had written this in less reactive language.

      so while i hate your anonymous attack of me as a person, i do respect your point, think you are correct, and appreciate that you have drawn my (more mature in 2012) attention to some of the more ridiculous things i wrote.

      maybe you could have some understanding for 2010 keight and give some grace for the fact that that was my 7 month old baby being injured two days in a row when i wasnt there to stop it. it was a really hard experience for us and even though i overeacted bigtime here in this post, it was a very emotional and heartbreaking "first" for us to go through as parents.


      a toddler parent standing corrected.

      p.s. i think you could have accomplished the exact same point without being nearly so hateful or mean to me. just a thought for next time.

  14. I'm sure "Anonymous" has never had an intense reaction to anything of this nature! Keight, a horrible person...not so much. She would never write such a mean-spirited remark to a total stranger, who by the way, doesn't have to read this amazing and hilarious blog! Peace.