all the loose ends

wowie zowie. my brain has reached that point thats like when all those little piles of paper or piles knick-knacks on your counter or floor that you have passed by for months just all of a sudden become intolerable in their space-takingness and worthlessness and just push you over the edge and it ALL HAS TO GO!

so in that spirit, my loose ends:

the past two weekends i have stayed in a hotel. this is a first since my volleyball days at tech. both trips were SUCH fun to go on with m'man and yet we are just getting back to our normal (re: abnormal). 

the first jaunt was to an atypically cold, wet and grey charleston, SC. my cousin got married and jesse did the wedding! jesse has been ordained for about 5 years now, and this was his first wedding as the officiant. he's been a groomsman and the singer probably 20 times, but never the pastor. it was SO special that his first one was for my cousin billy and his beautiful bride!

way to not bring the hotness quotient down, preacher man!

what does it say that my cousin booked us a hotel room with separate beds? what kind of picture of marriage did jesse give them in premarital counseling!?! (you know it was a CUH-RAZAY night in the hotel room when theres a hello kitty coloring book in the sheets)

 thank you, global weirding, for giving me the chance to wear this cute trench for only the second time ever since purchasing it in august of 2009. (p.s., christine...the secret to getting your nails painted is a 6 hour car ride...easy!)

jesse did an amazing job (fast, personal and jesus-y) and people for some reason lost their minds over the ceremony. people we had never met were demanding his card saying they didnt know WHO they would marry, but they knew who they wanted to marry them.  preacher for hire! sounds good to me.

i took my inaugural turn as "pastor's wife at a wedding" and accidentally decided to wear the highest shoes and shortest dress that forever 21 sells. take THAT, all your preconceived notions of a ministers wife! and possibly propriety?

with my parents and the sexy minister

my beautiful cousin (sis of the groom), aunt (mom of the groom) and mama (mom of the me) at the STUNNING reception

in perfect "us" fashion, jesse was also scheduled to preach at church on sunday morning...AND for the first time ever he had decided to still do the music even though he was also the speaker. SO we went up for the rehearsal friday, did the wedding saturday at 6 pm, chowed down at the reception (there was a sushi bar!!!) and hoofed it 5.5 hours back to atlanta, getting in bed at 2 am so jesse could get up and sing-preach-repeat starting at 8.

for the record, he was amazing and pointed people back to jesus in all 5 of his events.

it was like an insaney-pants ministry triathalon: the "iron sharpens iron-man."

and then last weekend, as you know, we were in austin, texas. jesse attended the verge conference and went along using our skymiles. one of my top 5 favorite humans on the planet earth, blair, lives in houston so she came up to hang with me while jesse was getting conferred upon.

first time flying with this hunk since this pregnant surprise insanity

riding in a bicycle rickshaw like crazy fools. 

turns out i would NOT make a good pharoah, because being conveyed by someone else's pure manpower makes me feel uncomfy in my "white-guilt" regions (regardless of the color of my paid conveyors). this was magnified by the fact that our driver (peddler?) had one prosthetic leg, which jesse was super up-front about and was all like, "so man, what happened to your leg?" i cant decide if that was the best or worst thing ever to say. jesse is now friends with the guy and has his cell#, so evidently his charm is working.

it was fun beyond fun. austin is SO cool and yalls suggestions were amazing! that is a city i would definitely go back to. (things you HAVE to do in austin: shop SoCo, eat at Torchy's Tacos, East Side Kings  and Gourdough's food trucks...we missed kerbey lane and are SO bummed!!!).

the capitol building at night was GORGEOUS!

(note for future-this is blair. not carmella.) 

fun fact: if you are not me or blair, you WILL hate being around us. it has been this way for 11 years and we are very sorry to everyone we have annoyed along the way.  we are trying to find a way to make our brand of humor more inclusive, but it just seems to not work. in the meantime, we are having literally the BEST time being royal stupidasses together in our own little world of "we're pretty sure we're the cleverest." my sense of humor is in an interracial marriage with blair's. they are soulmates.

one of the coolest things that happened was when we "coincidentally" (not) met a homeless woman friday night. i was feeling sick and blair couldnt come to dinner like we'd planned, so jesse and i stopped to get some stuff at CVS and were gonna turn in early. as we were walking back, this lady asked if our CVS bag was a doggie bag and if so if she could have it. 

"randomly" enough, jesse had been praying all weekend for jesus to show him someone that needed food (because he had gotten TONS of free snacks at the conference). hilariously, he didnt seem to notice that this was the answered prayer and was like, "oh, no, my bag is back in the hotel, i am so sorry." i was like, um, jesse! this is it. take her back inside and buy her whatever she wants. 

turns out, what she wanted was BBQ. i was feeling rough and not hungry at this point, so i told them to go to dinner and i was going to bed. well, jesse spent 3 hours at PF Chang's (BBQ was closed) with Carmella, aka C'la, aka Selah aka daughter of the king. over 3 hours he wept with her as she shared her story of rape, abuse and addiction. they got free lettuce wraps, were allowed to stay way past closing, and jesse prayed with her and gave her his number. he was only the second contact in her phone.

we have already been so blessed by this new relationship and are wondering if it was the true 'conference' that jesus sent him to. Matthew 25:35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,

at willie nelson's feet the next day when we had to go before she could meet up

i am the leaving-est of hangers! i never told yall what i kept from my last stitch fix....SO sorry!

i had TOTALLY already picked this geo cardi as my keeper before yall  (almost unanimously chose it too). yeah, awesome people think alike.

i wear this bad boy weekly and get mad compliments wherever i may roam.

speaking of washable clothing (and of awesome segues...) have you entered the $100 visa card giveaway here? there's only like sixty something entries so far...them's good odds...courtesy of tide pods (rhyme FTW).

 some injuries in the kiddo department for documentation purposes.

first, a few weeks ago judah sustained a wound in his new sleeping mechanism (yes, it's still sort of a secret  where all the shifting ended up until i can make it pretty and blog-worthy). we thought he might have broken his collarbone because of the way he was holding his arm all night. but it didnt seem that bad so we left it until morning to decide on the next step.

well, it still was bothering him the next day so i decided to take him to urgent care. i went to help him change out of his PJ's since he didnt want to lift his arm and spotted this little beauty:

and then my ovaries clenched up in abject horror. "oh, hello, INSIDE of my child!!!"

yikes...okay so THIS was what was hurting him and we never even noticed. how? well, there was NO blood or a tear in his shirt, so we thought it was a bruise/bone sort of injury and not a cut. he HAD kept asking for a bandaid, but we thought it was because thats what he asks for no matter what kind of sick/injured he is. we did put a placebo bandaid on TOP of his shoulder and totally didnt see this gash hiding in the backside of his arm pit. poor guy probably thought we were idiots with terrible band-aim.

the thing was so gaping that i obviously would have taken him to the ER if i had seen it the previous night. but since it was 9 am, i took him to urgent care, so embarrassed to have missed it for 12 hours!

i was sure he'd have to get stitches, but the doc said that after 12 hours they didnt want to close it up in case bacteria was already in there, though she said they would have if we had gone to the ER. she gave him an antibiotic in case it showed signs of infection (never did, so we didnt have to take it) and cleaned it out.

it turned out to be a blessing that we didnt have to subject him to a night time ER and stitches episode and that it was a $50 copay instead of several hundred. they cleaned it and gave us a bunch of huge band-aids.

2 weeks later and its a smooth scar and a cool story he will tell people at pool parties one day (or not...its hidden enough that you might never notice it).

i'm all set with ever needing to see farther inside of my child.

and then miss layla got in on the fun when she got an ear infection while we were in charleston. my MIL took her to our pediatrician and the gave her amoxicillan. the last time she had that RX she got some red welts on her belly around day 7. we told the dr. but evidently they didnt put it in her file and since my MIL didnt know about the first time, she just went with it.

well, like clockwork, on day 7 of giving it to her--we had kept it up even though we thought she might react just to be sure we at least killed the ear infection --we were by now in TX and my mom texted me that she was reacting again.

um...and HOW!

 it got so much worse/redder/more defined. just trust me

(partially ketchup on the face)

um, yes. horrifying. huge red/purple welts all over her face, neck and trunk that were SO hot to the touch. i had a hard time believing the dr that it was "nothing harmful" and it just needed to work its way out of her system and to give benadryl if it was itching.

4 days later and she is finally back to normal. i think we should go ahead and get ALLERGIC TO AMOXICILLAN permanently in her file at the dr.

i gained 3 lbs in austin. i am at peace with this. i walked at least 15 miles over the course of 2.5 days and ate with abandon. thats what vacation is for, dammit. but i am home now and back on track.

in that same vein, after my weight loss post, i have been bullied (by lena) into doing jillian micheal's 30 day shred. this morning was my 3rd day and it's already so much easier and fun (especially since i muted jilly and play music while watching for the cues).

 its seriously only 20 minutes
the moves require your body and maybe 12 sq ft (and dumbells if you want)
its something to do every single day thats fast but add up 2.5 hrs of HARD work a week
the download was $5 and i got it instantly ($7 for the hard copy)
no travel, no thinking, no cost and PRIVATE
cardio, strength and abs all in one.

ugh. working out, duh?
doing the same workout for 10 days straight (though i sort of like knowing whats coming) before moving up to the level 2 routine.
20 minutes is a long time when you dont take breaks.
old school jillian is awkward and not as hot as 2013 jillian

i call this PHASE 2 or "operation jiggle jam" of my journey back to a healthy lifestyle. ive sort of now got the hang of the food regulation (sort of) so i want to ease into seeing how to fit exercise into the routine too. 

i had never thought home workouts were for me, but yalls comments convinced me. no membership, driving, looking good, or nice weather required! i seriously did a workout in my sports bra and underoos in my locked office this morning before brushing my teeth.  and i love not having to think. just turning off my brain and doing what jillian commands. 

ok i think that takes care of most of the stuff floating atop my noodle. 

daylight savings is this saturday. did you know? even though i am not a summer-loving fool, i am excited to have another hour of daylight to play outside with the kids, and to feel the transition to spring.  with its improved weather, the outdoor dining and the burst of productivity and DIY-ness that always seems to come along, winter---> spring is probably my favorite season shift. though i could do with out all the trees fornicating in my sinuses. 

happy march, fools!


  1. New dictionary of figures of speech: The "Iron-Sharpens-Iron Man". Hilarious.

  2. Omg that workout kills me. Although when I managed to do it regularly it really does work. I go to a similar exercise class when I'm not injured.
    Also nice cardi :-)

  3. Mute Jillian and put on music - genius! Must do this. It will make that 20 minutes much more tolerable.

    LOVE the trench and so glad you picked the cardi!

  4. Jillian makes me furious. I get so angry at about minute 14 when she says "jumping jacks!" for the 8943798375983th time.

  5. Not sure if you remember the amoxicillan thing happening to Madison at 11 months of age (actually Augmentin) but it did...7 days in :) The doc immediately put it on her file that she's allergic to penicillin and hasn't had anything that ends in "in" since! I asked the dr at her 4 year visit if she would ever be able to try a penicillin medicine again in her life and she said no!!! So crazy!