1.25.2013

breaking the seal

you cant just inaugurate a sexy new sewing room with any old project. darning jesse's old underpants would NOT have been a worthy first task in that most glorious of spaces.


luckily i didnt have to wait long for the most perfect of sewing tasks to present itself as the first in the new space.

you might remember our poang rocking (re: bouncing) chair that was in layla's room. it now lives in the living room (fitting, no?). we originally didnt buy the matching footstool for the chair because of budget and spatial constraints. woe to us.

well, with our shiny new loan from my parents in hand, i was able to get the footstool on my IKEA bender this week. but oh, sad, alas, they dont make the cushion in our fabric anymore.

i told myself, "its no big deal. matchy-matchy isnt cool anyway." so i just got black and was a happy lady.  then i saw the combo in its nook and my heart was rent:

me. no. likey.  the plain back was too close to be a contrasting piece and too far to be a coordinator.

i was flummoxed. sure, IKEA sells this fabric on other stuff and i could have gotten the material from one of their armchair covers for $15, but mama dont play dat (unless i truly cant think my way out of that expenditure). 

so i was charmed to pieces when i realized that the back of the chair cushion cover was upholstered in the patterned fabric.i decided to play plastic surgeon and do a skin graft: from the back of the chair to the stool cushion. 

i giggled to myself at the poetry of taking IKEA fabric off one piece of IKEA furniture to put on another piece of IKEA furniture using my brand new IKEA sewing area. and then the giggling stopped because, ugh, i dont love working with heavy weight fabric.

in the end, i was victorious, and pure IKEA nirvana was reached.

blammo. a little homemade Eslöv footstool cover from ya girl!!! (yes. i need to wipe down the arms of the chair which are still milk-spattered from the line of duty...and quite possibly doodie).

i plan to make covers for the headrest straps that are NOT flesh-toned ASAP. come on, IKEA, youre better than a color that is probably called "band-aid sunset."

and in case the kind-hearted among youare curious about the condition of the dear sweet donor cushion...take heart, i took excellent care of him:

a little skin graft patch from the old kitchen curtain panels i had made back in 2011...made of, you guessed it! IKEA fabric.

while the bright yellow isnt the most inconspicuous choice for the back (i sometimes catch a sliver of yellow racing stripe on the side of the cushion and get a tad grumbly), i felt that as a good surgeon, i needed to find a match as close to the donor skin as possible to prevent host rejection of the new skin. therefore, IKEA home decor. 

there you have it. the sewing room giving up its v-card (ew, weird) to its swedish soulmate. dont worry. jesse is ordained and married them first so that it would be fornication...or should i say FURNication???

game, set, match: me.

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UPDATED 2/2/13: eek, i just found this old pic of me test driving the chair for the first time. i was breastfeeding a 3 month old layla in the showroom of IKEA and we were both digging it. such teensiness of peeking footsies and such enormity of hidden breasticles.


10 comments:

  1. You are the funniest person I read.
    How do you stand yourself?
    Really.
    Don't you feel bad for the rest of us, just TRYING (too hard) to be even half that funny?
    I laugh so hard at your blog, and then swear I am not talking for the rest of the day unless I can come CLOSE to that funny.
    Then I give up in 30 seconds because I have to break up a fight between the kids.
    You are my comedic inspiration.
    Funny AND smart...that's so hot.

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  2. wow. you just made me feel AWESOME. and i can empathize as this is how i feel about my friend tina fey (i mean i have recurring dreams about her so... sort of?). i assure you i am very stupid and slow-witted in real life. the written word is my best funny-maker.

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  3. Brilliance. Sheer - er, upholstery weight - brilliance.

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  4. Soooo smart, so crafty, and awesome! A win-win-win! That fabric is pretty awesome!

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  5. BUT WHERE IS LAYLA SLEEPING??? (Sorry such a desperate question is coming from a stranger but I have been reading your blog for over a year now - thank you braided scarf tutorial - and I am invested.) But seriously, nice work on the chair - very clever and cute!

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    Replies
    1. soon enough, my friend. i have to get it up to "posting internettally" snuff. right now its gross.

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  6. You are sheer amazement in the cleaver word department. How in the world do you make up words that everybody knows straight up what you are talking about!!! Slick side of genius is all I can say; and yes, you ARE hilarious! Phenom on the operation--no slackydack there. Am constantly in awe of how you and Jesse keep remaking your space--and don't let size beat you down. SO PROUD OF YOU!

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  7. You are sheer amazement in the cleaver word department. How in the world do you make up words that everybody knows straight up what you are talking about!!! Slick side of genius is all I can say; and yes, you ARE hilarious! Phenom on the operation--no slackydack there. Am constantly in awe of how you and Jesse keep remaking your space--and don't let size beat you down. SO PROUD OF YOU!

    ReplyDelete