black (and white) mail

i put this on facebook and twitter, but it belongs on the blog as well.

last night judah pooped on the real toilet in our bathroom during his bath. he is totally potty trained and not sick at all. we had a great bathtime and i put layla to bed and got judah in his jammies (undies and a long t-shirt)

about 45 minutes later i was working and judah was playing monster trucks. he told me he needed to go potty. now that he has been trained for several months, we are trying to get him to actually do the rest on his own...like pulling his pants down for himself and just sitting without our help. so i told him to go for it.

since he had already pooped, this was low-risk. if we think a poop is on horizon, we are more likely to help get him in position swiftly.

he did everything just right and then said, "mai awl dun!" i asked him if he had gone poop or pee (he sometimes gets them mixed up so we like to go over it when possible) and he said "poo-poo," but when i looked in the potty, there was only pee. so i said, "no, you just went pee-pee. see?"

he stood up, with his several-sizes-too-big t-shirt hanging down to his knees and started to pull up his underwear. i am still not paying full attention and all of a sudden he sticks his hand out and says, "mai got poo poo on mai hand. wipe it off, mommy."

and i see two of his fingertips have produced poop from somewhere. i am freaking out! where did the poop come from?!?! it's nowhere in the potty, his underpants are pristine, not on the floor, nowhere!

i life up his shirt tail and i see it:

oh man, this got so bad so fast that it was funny and not even stressful.

i would have just cut the shirt off of him, but my parents had bought it for him in the grand canyon, so i had to go over his head. this is what caused everything above the waist. it was all over his front too.

jesse wasnt home, so i snapped this pic on my phone once i had judah in quarantine because, HELLO, this needed to be documented. and i went with black and white to keep it classy (poop visuals can only be in color if your child is talented enough to produce woodland creatures).

as i washed him the poor guy seemed so confused about what had happened (you and me both, kid).

i got him sparkly clean and then starting wondering how HAD the poop gotten ONLY on him and only on the right outer side of his booty and not where you would expect it to be (right down main street)? it made no sense.

when i was telling jesse about it after he got home i started to think that maybe he had left the room and pooped in something somewhere else and somehow rolled in it, but after a thorough, yet tense, search, we turned up nothing.

i FINALLY figured it out this morning.

it was the long t-shirt.

he had sat down on the kiddie potty with his undies down, but the bottom of his shirt had gotten caught up under him, he was sitting ON his shirt tail. it was in between his bum and the potty. so thats why that potty was spotless: the shirt tail caught everything.

and then i think when he stood up, the shirt swung over to the right side and pancaked there on his little flank. the stars must have aligned for this magic BM because none fell out or soaked through enough for me to spot it from the outside. it wasnt until he felt it and reached back with his hand that he produced the evidence.

now that i know how it happened i feel so bad for him. poor guy did everything right and still somehow made the biggest poop mess of his life. and he even TOLD me he had pooped but i didnt believe him. it's my fault for not seeing the shirt caught under him and assuming he could only have one huge dump per hour. never underestimate the power of a boy.

a second shower and a few dry heaves are totally fair prices to pay to be able to show this to his girlfriends one day.


  1. You are such a super sleuth for solving the mystery... Judah is still such a sweetheart :-) even covered in poo.

  2. All I can say is WOW! That is seriously impressive and way to go on figuring out what happened.

  3. Omgosh! We are laughing SO SO hard!!! just too hilarious!

  4. This just made my day! Can't stop laughing!

  5. OMG I cant stop laughing! Poor kid. But somehow, poop that comes out of your own kid just doesn't seem *that* bad... Haha.

    My 3.5 year old has been potty trained for a while now and he recently wanted to start whipping his own butt... So I let him. The first time he ended up with more poop on his hands and somehow his arms than on the toilet paper itself!