i feel like i am in way too deep.
right now jesse and i are preparing and writing for our talks this weekend at our college ministry's retreat where we are the speakers.
the retreat used to be held before christmas, but now it is always in january, so it is called "the retreat formerly known as the christmas retreat," or TRFKATCR for not-so-short.
but because this retreat focuses on relationships, dating, intimacy and marriage, it is usually referred to by the students as "the sex retreat." awesome. that title doesnt go a long way towards convincing people that this isnt some freaky cult.
anyway, i am really, really nervous about this. not about public speaking, but just about getting in the way of what jesus wants to say. we have been working on and praying about this all week. i am sleep deprived and emotionally gassed. i know that jesus uses idiots like me all the time to work his magic, so i am trying to just remember that and trust in it.
i dont know anything or have this junk figured out. i am JUST NOW realizing some of my mistakes and the lies that i have believed that have jacked up my trust in jesse and in jesus. that have ransacked intimacy in all of my relationships. all i have to offer is my story, which is mine and i cant mess up, but it's still a scary thing to offer up.
anyway, if you are the praying type, could you throw up some love for me and jesse. that we will say what god wants those kids to hear, that we will shut up when we need to and that the holy spirit will show up in a big way to work in these awesome students' lives?
and in way more lighthearted news:
hear me now!
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