whatta man

the song that plays on my phone when jesse calls is salt n' peppa's "whatta man." as in "what a man, what a man, what a mighty, mighty good man." this is hilarious when i am in a quiet public place and the ring goes off. but it's only funny because it's true (and slightly ghetto).

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i looked for a really long time at target for a mothers' day card for single dads. you might think someone would make those (they don't; he got a thank you card instead--and a new teapot!). i wanted to abdicate from mothers' day altogether and donate the holiday to him. these past 8 or 9 weeks he has done almost literally everything for our family. i have done nothing. remember back when i was so jealous of judah's attachment to jesse and his preference of dad over mom? well that had gone away for a few months and he loved us both so much until recent times when mommy=comatose lump buried beneath the covers. so i felt utterly undeserving of mothers' day. the whole day was kind of embarrassing because i really didn't want to be reminded of how absent i have been. but this isn't a pity party for me, it's a yay jesse party.

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in these past few days with judah getting so sick and then me getting sick and now judah getting starting to throw up again (we went to the doctor last night after i got the straight up exorcist treatment ALL OVER me at bedtime and finally have a game plan--NO FORMULA OR MILK FOR 5 DAYS--and we got medicine for the little guy; the stuff they give chemo patients to handle their nausea, no less. they think its just lingering sensitivity and that he's not infectious or "sick" anymore but just that his tummy is all torn up and needs pampering) jesse has been the only leg our little family is standing on. so if you see him, make sure you tell him "whatta mighty, mighty good man" he is. he's the baddest mother-father i know.

this is real. i love him.