yard sale SOLD

the yard sale was a HUGE success.

yall's advice, tips and suggestions were invaluable in our making out like bandits. THANK YOU!

we made $391.75!

i had $500 in my head as the number i would be really happy about, so when i counted all the profits up afterwards (i havent touched so much cash and coin since i worked at chickfila and i was DYING to wash my hands) i started to get disappointed.

and then your wisdom echoed in my ears: you are just trying to get rid of stuff, any profit you make for junk you never use is BONUS!

so yeah, my neighbors paid us $400 to come take away junk we hadnt used in years. and even after all that we had 3 van-loads of stuff to donate to charity which will create jobs, bless others and give us a hearty tax deduction.

this is the driveway before any customers came and before i set up 2 more tables piled with things. they garage was also full and set up but i was too insane frantic at this point to remember to take a pic of it. i drank coffee on this morning for the first time in months (that junk makes me crazy)

i had my eyes peeled for hilarious and interesting characters all day and after a few honorable mentions (a 70 year old man who picked up judahs toy chainsaw, smiling as he looked across the driveway at me and wielded it in the air like a serial killer while making the chainsaw noise, and two ADORABLE little girls who were into sewing that i was thrilled to give a bunch of free fabric to) and the top three were as follows:

2nd runner up: a young white guy who bought a few of jesse's polo shirts and some pants. her was wearing a "fear factor live CHAMPION" shirt so i asked him about it. it was really weird because he seemed to just want to get away from me. i was like, "well, youre wearing the shirt, that means you have to tell us the story." the whole time it was pulling teeth to get him to give up the details, and we finally let him go.

i was wondering why someone who was on TV and had won $50,000 would be so reluctant to share the gory details (especially since he was wearing the shirt!). well i looked it up online (like a normal stalker would) and it turns out "fear factor live" is NOT the TV show, it was an attraction at universal studios where normal people could play a version of the tv game.

this guy went from #1 on the list of interesting yard sale characters to #3. he was going to be #1 because of his being a reality TV winner but now he is just #3 because he totally let us believe he was on the TV version and was really shady about trying to run away while we were talking.

first runner up: this hilarious mother-daughter pair of black women. they were so sweet and great to talk to. but these ladies had me ROLLING. they were looking for baby things for a friend who was expecting and they were pretty much competing with each other and would fight over every thing they found, including one footrace when they spotted the diapers for sale. it was extra funny when the daughter had to beg the mom for some extra cash after being a turd to her.

they spent about $70 with us. the mom kept spotting other things she wanted as she tarried at my table bickering with the daughter. and when they got ready to load up, they needed jesse's help and had heard me talking to him and said, "can jeffrey help us carry all this?" it was awesome. i told her his name was jesse but then would keep calling him jeffrey for fun and that thoroughly confused her so she just started referring to him as J. it was precious. these ladies brightened the heck out of our spirits as we headed into hour #4.

and then the #1 most colorful character of the yard sale was an older couple, maybe 50-60 years old. they were looking for children's clothes because the lady's business was making dog clothes.

i will be honest, i laughed in her face when she first said it because i thought she was joking, but she was VERY earnest and serious and so i felt bad and then had to be EXTRA interested after that to make up for it.

she needed to tell me how around these parts, people like a southern flair in their doggie fashion, so she wanted denim and plaid button-front shirts so she could make them little cowboys. she wanted to tell me EVERYTHING about the process and i was keenly aware of the precious minutes of life that were being sucked away from me in the name of custom canine couture.

the husband was the best though. at first he seemed to have just been dragged along, but then i realized he was an active contributor to this business. when they came up at the end the wife proudly proclaimed that she had found a whole pile of things that would be great for doggie outfits.

then the man grabbed a pair of layla's old red ruffly pantaloons and proclaimed, "i'm the bloomer man! i had the idea that she could just snip here, add a seam there, and just like that, you have a tube top for a dachshund." it took every fiber of my pelvic floor musculature not to pee my pants right then.

i broke 2 of my rules: i let 2 kids go inside to pee (because i am a mom of a recently potty trained kids and i know when they say they have to go, you respect that) and i took a check from one lady who lived close by. no regrets.

i dont think anyone who asked me about the price of something walked away without it, and i tried to stick hard to the "if they touch it, it's theirs" rule, especially as the day wore on.

one couple of young grandparents bought an entire table's worth of girl clothes for the new grand daughter. that was a happy moment.

the $1 table was a big hit and the huge table of less-nice kids clothes and t-shirts that were "stuff a grocery bag for $5" did really well too.

i was also thrilled to give many of my star wars book collection (begun when i was in middle school and completed last year) to a sweet little chubby 10 year old boy. i think his parents were surprised that they were mine, and i was happy to give him a few of my favorites for free, though a little sad to not one day give them to my kids (i know they will be so torn up about that one day).

all of the new space in our drawers, attic, closets and garage is WONDERFUL! i could easily get addicted to this purging and yard saling business. it was dangerously tempting when i went to target the next day to just buy full priced new things to replace the old stuff. but NO! that way lies ruin.

so for now i will just glory in all the declutter and make sawdust angels on the spacious floor of the garage while jesse continues to hone his new carpentry craft.

thank you so much for all of your help!


  1. We made almost the exact same amount at our yard sale! However, hubby and I went to Scott's antique market after our sale and I spent almost every penny we made on a stuffed raven. I obviously do not do well with cash in my pocket! Sibby will already caw when she sees it, although i am trying to teach her to say corn instead. At first I did not think it was worth all of the hours I spent on the yard sale, but I would definitely do it again for a raven the size of one of my dogs!

  2. yay! so glad it went well for y'all! i always love the actual selling part...it's the prep that kind of sucks...one day when we don't live on a driveway that rivals Mr. Everest, we might do them more regularly!

  3. please come to PAP and run my sale. you're good at this shiz.

  4. Dude, why are you so hilarious?!

  5. You were right to just be happy to GET RID of all that crap! Well done. (My problem isn't Target so much as other garage sales. We'll have a dandy one at our house and get rid of tons, and then I'll run out and buy more used stuff and fill up our basement again. Stephen gets so mad at me.)

    (Anytime you need a Star Wars fix, we have a few our way. Standing invitation.)

  6. Hope our sale goes as well as yours! Fingers crossed!

  7. Hey! Remember who reads this blog!! Do not refer to an older couple as 50-60. Old is at least 80. I'm already past 60, and you don't want to cut down on your free baby sitting time:)