shortcakes & tallcakes

had a minor scare last night. jesse was out all night meeting with potential supporters and at band practice and judah was with my folks, so we had a ladies night in. well, layla went dumpster diving while i was in the kitchen and naturally found the 3 nail polish remover-soaked cotton balls i used from when i fancy-ladyfied myself.. i found two of them scattered around her little trash nest and one...in her mouth. honkey baby be trippin'!

called poison control and they said it was fine, just a bad taste in the mouth probably. they added that she could have taken a swig straight from the bottle and been fine. really? that stuff makes a buxom adult such as me faint just from the fumes, but my 7 month old can shotgun it from the bottle with no side effects? thanks, science!

after slumming it in our garbage it was time for a bath and then some nakie shenanigans with my phone camera (where in the HELLFIRE is my nice camera?!?!)

aint no acetone stopping this lil tiger cub. coming back STRONG with the stank face

she is taller than the couch arm!! fun fact: this is actually what i look like from behind too.

albino monkey fuzzkins

my view while winding down with a little george before bed. could i love her more? methinks no.

and then things got wild. i have talked about foodgawker before but yesterday i went even deep into their spiral of temptation and found their "most favorited" section. aka the hall of fame for food p0rn. definitely NOT where i need to be trawling.

since it was avotaco(!) night, i made the salsa from there to go with it. BIG.WIN. i halved the recipe and we still have TONS to last us. it feels so good to celebrate my freedom from the bondage of having to eat out to get good salsa or being under the oppression of horrendous store-bought pace nonsense.

and then i made an error. and my "an error" i mean: "espresso chocolate chip shortbread cookies."

i made them. i made them so hard yall. it all happened so fast that i had no choice, really (those 3 hours i waited for the dough to chill? no, it was too late at that point).

justice. not done by the picture.

while i waited for the dough to harden i went running. 5.3 miles! and then i came home, baked these and dove in.

congrats, universe, my running habit is now a zero-sum game. 500-odd calories burned in an hour, at least that many back in in 8 minutes. worth it? possibly.

but i am nothing if not an enabler. as jesse walked in the door (literally) i forced these upon him.

eating fat-laden manna beats shutting the door every time.

authentic first reaction. bonus shot of our laundry nook. tres martha.

i won't tell you to try these because i want neither liability nor bills from your cardiologist, but you know, if you are losing TOO much weight or something, or need to gain weight for a movie role (renee? are you filming bridget jones 3 anytime soon?) then this is something you want to look into. they are mother fliz-nipping delicious.

gag reel. look at the belly and that BOOTAY!


  1. Oh my gosh! The belly is nothing compared to the deliciousness of those thighs and butt...love the wrinkles, love the rolls, love me some chunky baby. Ughgh

  2. Oh. my... me.... Those naked baby pictures are so sweet. I laughed so stinking hard when you said you looked like that from behind. I need to check out the food porn. Those look sinful.

  3. Ha! Laughing out loud at the shot of lay from behind and your caption!

    Bring some of those suckaz up here and we'll (very generously) help you finish them up!