EwLOL

.
i cleaned out my closet this week and was pleased to find a few pairs of used, but really nice, nike running shorts at the bottom of one of my perma-piles. i decided to give them a wash (and, let's keep it real, a crotch-bleaching for curb appeal and general sanitation), and list them on eBay. i figured any profit would be a suitable reward for tidying up a neglected area of the house AND for gaining all the weight that rendered these shorts too small for me.

i listed them last night after the sanitation process was complete, proud to feature sparkly white inner-linings. 

this morning i awoke to this lovely message from a prospective buyer!

so that's fun! stay classy, universe!

i am torn between thinking this is the funniest thing ever and the creepiest thing ever (i think i've landed on: BOTH). i am also wondering if the bleach was a mistake...did i unknowingly disintegrate many dollars of profit when i rid the linings of all trace organic material?! 

maybe "women's workout clothing" wasnt the right category to list them in at all. but then, i never saw an option for "sweaty grundle essence" to list under to really cash in. where is eBay's suggestion box!?

for such a brief (pun) message, he really goes the distance. i cant decide if my favorite part is the "for me"--as if i would do this little favor for such a close buddy--or the "(uncleaned)" parenthetical that conjures up some levitical connotations. 

i posted the screen grab to my personal facebook page and had some awesome suggestions from friends. from letting jesse put them on and take them for a jog before sending them (with a pic!), to putting some kimchi or dog poop in them and then shipping.

another friend jumped right to the logical* conclusion that i had perhaps nabbed a serial rapist (all in a days work...). 

i particularly liked the one where i tell the guy "sure!" and then have a friend get into a bidding war with him to drive the price up. 

however i am pretty sure that answering in the affirmative in ANY way (for funny OR for profit)  somehow constitutes a form of prostitution (even if it's just in my own head), so i will obviously be ignoring this (and any future weirdo requests...in case yall are feeling panksy).

what would yall do? are you fully creeped out or laughing? why can this guy not get ahold of FREE dirty workout lady gear in his home country (austria)?



*opposite.