*please be sure to read the comments section and my updates...especially if you think i am being too harsh (because you are right!). while i wont erase or take back what i wrote, i will apologize and say that i wish i had shown more grace and used a gentler, more thoughtful approach to how i was feeling.*
i watched the VMA's for the first time in like 10 years last night (not counting the comeback that must not be named). only the rumor of an N'Sync reunion could impel me to intentionally land my TV on MTV and i did so at my own risk by watching live rather than tivo'ing it. (PS, that was big of justin to let his bros perform a bit with him but i was DYING at fast he had them sucked back down into their holes of obscurity).
i watched the VMA's for the first time in like 10 years last night (not counting the comeback that must not be named). only the rumor of an N'Sync reunion could impel me to intentionally land my TV on MTV and i did so at my own risk by watching live rather than tivo'ing it. (PS, that was big of justin to let his bros perform a bit with him but i was DYING at fast he had them sucked back down into their holes of obscurity).
i pretty much already thought/knew that miley cyrus had jumped the shark and was really leaning in to the whole, "i'm not a disney kid anymore" thing (or rather, "i aint no mickey youngin', yall *TONGUE*"). yet, i somehow managed to be utterly shocked and revolted by her performance nonetheless.
i facebooked my dismay:
Keight Dukes
miley cyrus just gave my brain an STD. beyond VILE! gimme britney and a python ANY DAY!
Keight Dukes Jessica i would say to youtube it tomorrow, but it seriously made me stupider and disgusted and sad that this is what some kids are dying to be. if i had two free assassinations i might be using them on her and kanye. I JUST WANT TO SEE NSYNC!! but now i need to bleach my eyeballs and give myself an enema made of classiness to undo the damage.
i am not going to link to it on this blog (the url alone might give my domain digital herpes--not to be confused with digital getdown), but you can definitely find it easily if you want to see what i am referring to (gird up your loins, because she is going to try to touch them).
i have never seen so little clothing and so much tongue in my life. i had never seen a 20 year old use a foam finger to fondle a 36 year old married father (not that he was innocent or unwilling by any means). the amount of air-humping, violent twerking, and crotch grinding/grabbing positively overloaded my sensors.
i have never seen so little clothing and so much tongue in my life. i had never seen a 20 year old use a foam finger to fondle a 36 year old married father (not that he was innocent or unwilling by any means). the amount of air-humping, violent twerking, and crotch grinding/grabbing positively overloaded my sensors.
it managed to go way past my (rather liberal) sense of "lol this is ridiculous" and land squarely into disturbed and saddened for miley, her parents, and basically the parts of our culture that say "yeah, that's what we're looking for."
so is this a new thing?
i think the last time i intentionally watched the VMA's as a show (and not just for one performance) was 2001. that year might not ring a bell, but i'm sure you remember one of its most iconic scenes.
i think the last time i intentionally watched the VMA's as a show (and not just for one performance) was 2001. that year might not ring a bell, but i'm sure you remember one of its most iconic scenes.
even at age 18 i realized it was a tad ridiculous, but i feel like britney spears' huge yellow snake number was somehow a million times classier than the garbage i watched last night.
am i deluding myself? is it because i was in the target age group when britney performed, but have since aged out and am too old to understand miley's gyrations?
admittedly, i was asking jesse--who had turned away in utter disgust and sorrow--"what if this was layla!?!?" which is a typically fogey-ish mindframe, and, NO, i would not be thrilled with my lay-lay being a slave 4 U (or anyone really), but while i have a double standard for my pop stars and my offspring, there seems to be even a "too far" for that category (which layla is obviously never allowed to be in) and litte miss montana found it.
admittedly, i was asking jesse--who had turned away in utter disgust and sorrow--"what if this was layla!?!?" which is a typically fogey-ish mindframe, and, NO, i would not be thrilled with my lay-lay being a slave 4 U (or anyone really), but while i have a double standard for my pop stars and my offspring, there seems to be even a "too far" for that category (which layla is obviously never allowed to be in) and litte miss montana found it.
i'm sure folks were appalled by britney and the snake and "i'm a slave 4 U" (i mean, not THE most empowering anthem for women, undoubtedly), but it must be said that she could dance, she could PERFORM and i think that while pushing it (as is expected at these things) she managed to look womanly and still leave something to the imagination.
i feel like miley ONLY cared about shocking. and last night i learned that the last three syllables of the word "titillating" make a WORLD of difference.
it's bad when i find myself hoping that a 20 year old is on drugs and not actually making these decisions with a sober brain.
i am making fun of miley a lot, and i definitely want to put her in a very long timeout (and inside a firmly locked chastity belt and on a course of strong antibiotics for good measure); however, the main emotion i feel is sadness for her. and for all the girls who want to be a "star" like her (aka "horny alien on MDMA") and probably will have to sell out even more as they fall short of even that low standard. sadness that they really think of this as the best possible story for them.
i am making fun of miley a lot, and i definitely want to put her in a very long timeout (and inside a firmly locked chastity belt and on a course of strong antibiotics for good measure); however, the main emotion i feel is sadness for her. and for all the girls who want to be a "star" like her (aka "horny alien on MDMA") and probably will have to sell out even more as they fall short of even that low standard. sadness that they really think of this as the best possible story for them.
did yall see it? what did yall think? am i just painting my own generation as better when actually it was just as bad? am i just old? are we being given what we've asked for or is MTV responsible for pioneering new horizons of trash? is it miley's fault or is she just a product of child stardom? how the hell do i keep my daughter from lionizing this?
all this miley thinking got me singing one of her hits in my brain, and i was darkly amused remembering this line:
all this miley thinking got me singing one of her hits in my brain, and i was darkly amused remembering this line:
Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream & a cardigan
Welcome to the land of fame, excess. Am I gonna fit in?
YES. sadly. please put your cardigan ON!
UPDATE: thank you to a sweet and gracious reader who reminded me to be clear on the difference between the person and the behavior. hear me: i want to direct my hatred, disgust, homicidal tendencies and cutting jokes toward the LIAR (satan) and the behavior, and to shower the hurting, confused 20 year old girl herself in love and grace. my apologies if that isnt how this post sounded; it IS my heart though, all jokes aside.
i feel very convicted that i wouldnt want a hurting miley to ever read this post and think it was how christ felt about her. i think christ would say: "i love you. YOU are enough. i have a better story for you than this."
(thank you, kai!)
better, more thoughtful perspectives than mine:
1. why this bothers women, particularly. (this one is 100% me...because i WAS like miley at 20!)
2. why we are so sorry for the life that got here here, but why her behavior really isnt okay (disagree about the best voice thing)
i feel very convicted that i wouldnt want a hurting miley to ever read this post and think it was how christ felt about her. i think christ would say: "i love you. YOU are enough. i have a better story for you than this."
(thank you, kai!)
better, more thoughtful perspectives than mine:
1. why this bothers women, particularly. (this one is 100% me...because i WAS like miley at 20!)
2. why we are so sorry for the life that got here here, but why her behavior really isnt okay (disagree about the best voice thing)
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