change of plan(t)s...

naturally, we managed to fail before we even started.

i'm referring to the garden. you know, the one where all we have planted so far is delusions.

well after a thoroughly charming tsunami of impulsivity and sunk costs, i spiraled into sickening regret and denial.

we were NOT going to be able to do this.

the fencing-in of an area to keep the garden safe from the dogs alone was going to be a HUGE undertaking. and that didnt even address the garden itself and all the awesome points yall brought up last time about soil and toil and money and HARD and such.

as i sat dejectedly pouting at my hubris jesse came to the rescue. let's keep in mind that he begs me not to do these things. he sees this coming. but i am like a hopeless addict when one of these inspiration attacks grabs hold of me. i cant hear my sweet husband pleading for rationality and patience and i plunge forward.

(jesus is working on this with me.)

so jesse gets one million gold doubloons for being the agent of my rescue when he could totally choose to just be captain of the USS I Told You So.

he said: lets just do a few raised beds instead.

ahhhhhhh, sweet relief. and like a kid who hasnt planned adequately on his magna-doodle, my downward spiral immediately hit a wall and was finished prematurely.

so on with his day off my husband (while fasting for easter!) built us 4 beautiful raised beds on the humans-only side of the fence. it is in a totally unused,neglected, and raw area of the yard.

when i got home we set about the toil of weed protecting them and filling them up with nice dirt.

not everyone's attitude was immediately eased by the new plan

 layla and chopper look on in concern as judah amps up the drama

 oh the injustice...of something.

oh its funny now...

i call this face "im trying to still be upset but my heart isnt in it."

 meanwhile layla uses the ladderballs to choreograph her circus routine. like you do...

 *insert circus music here* 

dee dee deedle deedle dee dee dee dee...

polka dot, polka dot, polka dot afro!

 layla in her element (as in the element from captain planet..earth!)  as clifford snuggles chopper's hindquarters.

 as you may have noticed, judah's mood is inversely related to the amount of clothing he is wearing. a quick recovery was on hand when we let him go nakie-digging

 all the best summiting moments in history involve underoos

we attempted to leverage their willingness to work in the dirt and have them haul their wagon along with our wheelbarrow:

 this lasted about one half of a wagonfull before they got wise and returned to progress-blocking.

at about 8 pm i finally felt the crushing hunger and decided we were too dirty to go inside to eat and too hungry to cook ourselves. we opted for a pizza picnic which was beyond sublime 
...except for that moment when i said to jesse as i opened the steaming box, "is there anything better than hot fresh pizza when youre starving?" and he replied, "um, being able to eat it would be nice." i had forgotten his fast. oh, but i felt bad, yall.

 here's someone who has never fasted, i assure you. couldnotlovehermore

and here's some awesome progress on the sprouts i bought WAAAAAAAAy too early:

yeah. i'm awesome.

so it snowed one day last week and the day before i was being a good plant mommy and covered up the seedlings with black plastic. well i forgot to remove it the next (sunny) day and even though it was freezing, the sun still scorched the mess out of EVERYTHING above the soil. je deteste myself.

hopefully, since the roots were nice and un-singed, these will grow new healthy leaves (somebody tell me if that is likely or not) if i keep watering and sunning them appropriately. 

so here we are. about 160 sq feet of raised beds in 4 little rectangles, weed-shielded and filled with high quality soil.

we nixed a few of the plants we had planned for that are super cheap in the store (carrots, corn, onions, watermelon) and focused more on those that we eat a lot and can get pricey (tomatoes, okra, peppers)

we added in sunflowers, bay laurel, marigolds and cucumbers as well. 

is this right? my planting robot does not tell me how much of anything to expect upon harvest (assuming everything turns out) and i dont know if i am going to literally end up with ONE cucumber or what.  the triangular parts point northeast, for the record. and every square is one square foot. 

what's my most important next step? 

you people were RIGHT ON with all of your attempts to talk me off the ledge (ever so gently) before and hearing your words in my ears did eventually manage to rein this in before it got completely out of hand, so i am turning to you now for more wisdom.

this is hard.


  1. This will be so fabulous and manageable!!! Exactly what we had and it was the perfect amount! Go to home depot and get a couple of cheap wooden trellises for your cucumbers. The will grow up instead of lying on ground. I am going to say that you plants will probably not recover, but I could be wrong :) can't wait to see progress. I have the same problem... Get an idea and it must happen RIGHT NOW! Thank goodness for our patient Jesses.

  2. Living so, so vicariously through all the ups and downs of this. I get all crazy enthusiastic every March and usually blow a hundred bucks or so on doomed-to-fail vegetation. So thank you, friend, for saving me the trouble this year. (but seriously, this new plan has great potential!!! Kinda excited to see it all next weekend!)

    Also - Prudent Baby did a wicked awesome irrigation/raised bed gardening series a few years ago that you have probably already seen. That was the first year I really really wanted to do it!

    Love your enthusiasm. Love your heart.

  3. I would only plant two or three cucumber plants...You will get a ton of cucs off of each plant :)

  4. You know what Homer Simpson says, right? "You tried your best and failed miserably? The lesson is, never try."

    I kid. I kid.

  5. I second the cucumber comment. I don't even have to grow any because my Dad's couple of plants provide plenty for the whole family, neighbors, friends, random strangers, etc.

  6. You will need to learn how to make pickles with that many cucumber plants! I think you should wait a little while longer on planting... those plants probably won't survive. You should definitely get a little herb garden going - there are several resilient enough to handle the weather changes!