6.21.2012

i love it when you call me big mommy

did you wonder why i chose to call my beach bag the "big mommy bag?" i mean, uh-doy, it's a huge bag that is perfect for moms who have to carry tons of stuff for their families, but outside of being descriptive, couldn't i have picked a more, um, flattering, name?

allow me to tell you the tale of the genesis of big mommy.

ever since judah was old enough to be chased, he has LOVED it. and because i was pregnant during the emergence of this love, jesse became the main chaser.

jesse has a standard "daddy playtime" voice. it is the exact same one that his dad used on him and continues to use on his grandkids. it's kind of a half-shout/growl. it's adorable and weird all at once. funny dukes men.

so when jesse would come after judah he would say, "i'm coming to get you," in this weird monster voice.

somehow, somewhere along the way as judah was learning to speak english, he translated this into toddler speak and whenever a chase ensued, he would say, "big daddy comin'!" it was hilarious and awesome because jesse is big daddy. he is the big giant strong hero of judah's life AND his weird voice makes him even more giant-seeming. judah said it with the perfect inflection that said: watch out, here he comes and he might just gobble you up.

we all fully embraced "big daddy comin'!" and said it often.

then one night when judah was maybe 2.75 years old he was in the tub. i went to get in with him, as i often do with one or both of the kids.

as i tossed my clothes into the laundry basket and thought for the millionth time, "i am so glad that my kids have no perception of body image whatsoever and are not at the age where they ask awkward questions about parts or shapes or sizes of me and jesse when they see us al fresco like this. it's such a relief to not feel self-conscious around them.

and then as i stepped into the tub, judah said it. with that exact same, watch out everybody, there-she-blows kind of inflection: "big mommy comin'!"

it was so terrible and wonderful all at once. it had NONE of the charm of the big daddy version and so many hilarious and soul-crushing implications in its "mommy" form. he continues to say this for me, but ONLY seems to use it when i am getting into the tub or shower. awesome.


but, as i often do, i decided to really lean into it and embrace it. referring to myself as "big mommy" is now a wonderful comic method of being a creepy full-figured lady. throwing down a good, "big mommy likes!" on an unsuspecting friend is gold.

and in that same tradition i went ahead and owned the big mommy title and emblazoned it as the name of my newest craft.

step lightly folks, biiiiiig mommy comin'!

13 comments:

  1. haha! Levi started calling me mommy elephant this week...

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    1. hahahahaha thats creative! oh the unexpected ways they mock us.

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  2. My aunt has never forgiven me for exclaiming loudly "Auntie you have a jello bum!" as she was having a bath with me at about the same age.

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    1. are you british? either way, that hilarious, but maybe even moreso if you are NOT british and said "jello bum"

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  3. hilarity ensues. awesome post.

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    1. thanks deepti, is this your first comment? i saw your FB post but think i never replied, like a big dummy.

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  4. Throw your hands in the air, if you're a true playa ;)

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    1. it was in my head, ALL DAY after writing this post

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  5. Oh, big laughs for big mommy! Did you see my daughter's statement about how she, as a girl with a little bottom, will one day be a lady with a big bottom like me? Funny, except this adds a certain strange factor: in our house, "bottom" is often used for "va-jay-jay." So which bottom is the big one? I don't like to dwell long on this question.

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  6. (Your blog may have eaten my comment or I might be entering it twice. I apologize if the latter.)

    Basically, I was laughing at the whole big mommy phenomenon, and sharing this: Did you see that Charlotte had said that she, as a little girl with a little bottom, will have a big bottom like me when she's a lady? Funny, except this fact adds a weird element to the whole thing: In our house, "bottom" is often used for "va-jay-jay." So which bottom is the big one? I don't like to dwell long on this question.

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    1. i always knew i'd have a big vagina one day. thanks to motherhood at least that childhood dream has come true.

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  7. Oh my gosh, hilarious!! Sam isn't allowed to see me naked any more. A few reasons: the time he pointed, shouted, "What DOZE are???" and then laughed; the time he said, "is 'der a penis under der??" and the time he said "can i touch 'dat?" Luckily, he calls Geoff a giant elephant a lot, so my self-esteem is still doing pretty well.

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  8. Children are just so pure of heart :-) You are a strong, healthy-minded (big) mommy... I love your fam so so much! Still obsessed, even with all your fame and fortune and followers... you haven't changed. Pure of heart.

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