on wednesday i went and bought the "batting" ($1.31 in the scrap bin) to put in between layers of fabric to make the stocking soft and thick. i also bought "muslin" cloth ($1.49 for a yard) to use as lining. i was intending to make the back the same quilted pattern as the front but i got so giddily frantic as i neared completion that i went lazy and made the back muslin too.
being too excited to do things correctly was the theme of this stocking. as things came together on wednesday i was singleminded in my determination to finish. so some things fell by the wayside in my haste and blind focus. such as only making one seam allowance on the quilt cutout pattern instead of two (one for lining it and then one for putting the lined front and back pieces together) so the finished product is smaller than the template of my stocking that i used.
another thing i failed to realize was that i had been using the same white spool of thread since the inception of this great sewing adventure and it was running out. after i sewed the batting and the lining of the front together i decided to not just leave it as a plain sandwich, but to run some extra lines over the whole she-bang to add texture (this is done with swirlies on real fancy quilts) and to compress the padding.
that's the same headlamp i use now (thanks, cornpup) and the same face i make when i break a thread. (photo 11/12/2005: my best friend's wedding. since then: acne=out; jowls=in)
*i don't think this needs to be said since i don't have any judgemental or tight-assed readers that i know of but, this is NOT irreverent people, i love jesus and the bible and i asked my pastor [husband] if it was blasphemous to use strikethrough font on jesus' name (like how jewish folk don't write "God" they write "G-d") or to do a parody of a bible story and he said, no, it was fine. AND we're in a fight and he still said it was okay and funny. so if you were going to get huffy about it, go ahead and laugh instead because he did and he actually already had a reason to be mad at me before he ever read this...because we were arguing last night when i left to pick up a small papa john's pizza for us for dinner. on the way home i gleefully ate my 4 pieces and then maliciously devoured (aka force-fed myself) 2 of his 4 pieces just to spite him. in fact, i ate so much i later threw it all up which caused me to wake up starving at 1 am and stumble to the kitchen to mow down about 10 of his oreos and milk as a dinner replacement then go back to sleep laughing to myself about how clever i am and how i really double-showed HIM! i woke up this morning bloated with the oreo-encrusted teeth of a feudal serf and rethought my entire revenge-o-binge strategy. but don't worry, i haven't apologized or anything stupid like that. plus the anger i was feeling when i ate that stuff totally cancels out the weight watchers points that i consumed...it's in the manual: spite-eating is off the record, "if you're mad, no need to add. ..if your wrath is self-righteous the points cannot bite ya's"*
is it perfect? hell no. there are holes i had to stitch up by hand because i got erratic on the machine and the lines aren't perfectly straight and it's smaller than it should be and the outline is ragged. but hello? i just decided to quilt something last wednesday and ordered the supplies online. they arrived on monday and the whole thing was done wednesday by 9 pm! and you can totally tell what it is. and, bless me, it may even function.
rather than be impressed with myself i have decided to go ahead and be unimpressed by "quilters" instead. if this crap is so easy that a moron like me can do a C minus job in less than 10 hours of work on her first try, it must not be as hard as it looks. what else are the grannies of america trying to trick me into thinking i can't do? geriatric be-yatches of the fayette county joann's craft store, consider this your warning... it's on!