2.17.2009

Holy Natural Childbirth Batman!!

So we must be crazy.

I only say we because as I'll explain later, I actually play a role in our birth plan, but that's not important right now. Clearly what's important is how nuts we are. Masochists really.

We want to have a child naturally.








Hey whoa! Put down the phone. I don't think you can call DeFaCS before someone actually HAS children!
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Just kidding.

But seriously we want to go through the birth process naturally. And seriously we have gotten everything from weird looks to patronizing pats [we'll see, they say] to outright hostility.

But the biggest question that we have gotten as we tell people about our decision has been a resounding, "Why?!"

As in, "Why would you want to put yourself through needless pain?" or "Why would you make it harder than it already is?"

So I figured I'd try to set the record straight for anyone who cared.

We have wonderful friends named Matt and Angie Stryker who were missionaries in Puebla, MX and are all in all amazing people. They have recently had two children using the bradley method: Jack, who is almost 3 and Valerie, who is 9 months. K8 and Angie got together a while ago and Angie told K8 about both of her birth experiences and described them both as "amazing" "powerful" and "one of the best experiences for us as a couple" even though they happened in a hospital in Mexico in the summer with no air conditioning AND all in Spanish.

Wow. That is not typically how you expect to hear natural childbirth described. So we were very intrigued.

Angie told us that they followed what is know as "The Bradley Method" which came from a Dr. Bradley who wrote the book Husband Coached Birth. The whole point of which is for the Husband to coach his wife through birthing the child naturally and guiding her through relaxation and focusing exercises during all three stages of labor. The idea is for the wife to work with her body and to be informed and at peace with the natural birth process that is going on. And its the husband's job to make sure that she remains focused, affirmed, encouraged and as comfortable as possible while bringing the new life into the world.

Now, this is obviously a far cry from the traditional role of husbands in the delivery room...

But the more we researched and looked into the process we found it very fitting for where we are. K8 and I loved the idea of going through this process together, or sharing the load and of really having to depend on each other for success.

And we also resonated with the idea that childbirth is one of the most natural things in human life. Women have been giving birth to babies for thousands upon thousands of years, and only recently has it become a hospitalized phenomenon that involves surgeons and drugs and often leaves women frightened, stressed and not knowing at all what to expect.

I think now is a fair time to point out that there is absolutely and clearly nothing wrong with having a baby in the hospital or having it with use of pain medication. In fact, there is no guarantee that we will have our baby without any unnatural interventions. Thousands of babies are born every day in this way and are 100% healthy and safe.

I guess its like the idea of fasting. Fasting is difficult but it is a spiritual exercise in trust, submission, faith, and self-discipline. It is not mandatory, you are not bad if you don't do it. But some people do find great joy and reward through participating in it.

And that's how we view the idea of natural childbirth. So much of our culture shies away from what is difficult. Asprin for the headache, a drink for the stress, a video game for the boredom, etc etc. But the problem is that pain and difficulty has a way of adding value to things.

I appreciate money that I worked hard for. I appreciate relationships that have seen the good times and the bad times. Pain is our body's way of telling us that something is happening and we need to take notice.

As in, heads up, you're bringing a human into the world. And we don't want to needlessly block that message out.

We're about to go through 20 - 30 years of our destiny. To teach and mold and train and protect another human life. A life that maintains the image of the Creator, and depending on what we do, it can be used for life altering good, or heartbreaking evil.

So a little added gravitas on the front end probably isn't a bad thing.

Bring on the pain.

-Jesse
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Editors Note:

A. I'm 100% joking in saying bring on the pain. We are constantly praying that the birth is as painless as humanly possible. The last thing that I want is for my wife to go through ANY unnecessary pain.

B. Please remember that this is 100% about Keight. I'm telling you about the role I have to play because K8 asked me to and so that you can be informed, not because our roles are in any way shape or form equal. The stars are the players on the field, not the coaches, and I am doing all that I can (little it may be) to ensure that SHE succeeds in this amazing endeavor.

4 comments:

  1. Hey Jesse! So happy for you and Keight and I think it's amazing that you are going to go all natural! I think y'all are incredible and am so happy for you! I've enjoyed reading y'alls blog! --Hillary

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  2. Thanks Hill! Hope you and your family are doing well!

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  3. Hey, this is Alexis Snooks (I married Jason (from CCF/GT)). I think it's great that it's going to be a natural birth :). I'm planning on doing that when we start our family and I'm sure I'll get plenty of funny looks too. Anyway, congrats and I really enjoy reading your blog :).

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  4. WOW!! WOW!!! WOW!! What a beautiful description of what you are doing and all the thought you guys have put in to doing it!! I applaud you for really giving Judah's birth your utmost consideration. I'm awed, and very excited for you guys. I know how important my decisions were to me (I think Dad just knew to support whatever I wanted!!) And I was thrilled to be able give 4 of you 5 that kind of beginning. It takes a lot of holding on to Jesus, and a strong hand to squeeze, but it was worth it, and I know you ugys are going to do GREAT!!! Way to go!

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