3.03.2011

layla's birth: adrienne's version

if you missed the explanation of why multiple people are telling this story AND for lena's version, go here.

this one's for the scientists in the crowd. and for those who don't mind HD anatomy and birth details. this one may be really good or really bad for expectant mothers to read since its so fact-filled, but no matter what your birth story shapes up to be, you will be one happy camper if you have someone as amazing at her job as adrienne to walk you through it. adrienne was my L&D nurse when i had judah and ended up delivering him (though i wasn't sure about her at first). because of that bond she is now my friend. this time by design she was hands-on (or hands-in, really) for layla's entire pregnancy and birth. adrienne knows her stuff y'all.

i will be throwing in some pics and captions, but the story is all hers. take it, adrienne:

So first, let me preface with an apology to K8’s regular blog readers/fans. This will NOT be the usual well-written, witty prose you are use to reading from her. In fact, by the end of my story you may in fact wonder how I ever manage to stay gainfully employed as a nurse.

Forgive me in advance for comparing and contrasting to Judah’s birth, but really it was very much on the forefront of my thoughts the day Layla arrived, and so I had to include it in Layla’s story. And like Lena said, I know this is supposed to be all about K8 and Layla, but (as you will soon see) there will definitely be parts of the story where my thoughts/feelings play a larger role than perhaps they should. So, on that note, I will begin my story of Layla’s birth day.

Background: Since Judah’s amazing birth, K8 and I have stayed in contact to some extent. I am totally one of the stalkers of her blog, and every now and then we would shoot each other a text or email. I was thrilled when I learned she was pregnant with Layla and immediately sent her all my contact info because I totally wanted to be there for the repeat performance.

there be judah. after unexpectedly going to war alongside adrienne the first time to get him out and get me repaired

I should tell you, I am known as the “crunchy granola nurse” on my Labor and Delivery unit. This is for two reasons: a) I prefer to labor and deliver unmedicated (for my own 3 deliveries) and b) I LOVE getting the unmedicated patients! The wilder/louder/crazier the better. There is something so insanely rewarding about guiding an unmedicated woman through labor, I think because it’s a journey you both go on together and as a nurse you truly feel you are making a difference in your patient’s life. That being said, I also am a HUGE advocate of letting women labor they way they want. If that means being numb from their toes to their nose or screaming and kicking without pain meds, more power to them.

Okay, back to K8. During K8’s pregnancy we talked off and on, and she discussed her thoughts on laboring and delivering unmedicated again. Just as before, she had a very firm plan about what she wanted, expected, etc. The plan was something like this: an unmedicated labor and delivery, I was to be there as the nurse if at all possible, if she ended up having another long labor ordeal and felt she had reached her breaking point she was open to an epidural and finally, if pitocin was needed I must get K8 an epidural before I started the infusion or I would be found 6 feet underground.

It sounded like a good plan to me. I love when patients are open to possible changes occurring to their birth plan because they usually end up being successful in having the delivery they were hoping for to begin with. It is the patients that have the most detailed birth plans that end up with at least two situations they were hoping to avoid. Okay, so you won’t find that statistic in any evidenced based peer-reviewed journal, but my anecdotal evidence is further helped by Judah’s delivery. I had never had a patient write in their birth plan “if I tear, I prefer to tear down and not up”. Guess whose birth plan that was in, and guess who not only tore “up” but “down” as well?

To help K8 achieve her goal of another fabulous unmedicated birth, I suggested she try evening primrose. It’s an all natural supplement that when taken ORALLY (yes, there is another route and I don’t recommend it) will ripen the cervix (or for you non medical folks it makes the cervix mushy and squishy) and makes it like butter (yes K8, I just compared a cervix to butter). It does not put a woman into labor, but when the woman does go into labor the cervix opens like school doors on the last day before summer vacation. K8 started the regimen at 36 weeks.

During K8’s last trimester I slept with the phone on my night side table to make sure I would be ready for the “alarm”. I was so worried about not being able to be there for her and missing what I knew would be another awe-inspiring birth.

The day finally arrived. My husband and I were heading up to the city when K8 called and said she’d been having some contractions that were progressing in intensity. She was worried about it being a false alarm. I talked to her for several more minutes. This is totally an L&D trick (loved by both doctors and RNs)-if the woman can talk normal through the contractions she usually is not in labor. While K8 was able to keep talking to me I could hear the change in her voice when she would get a contraction. We decided it was the real deal and that she should call Jesse back from church. We headed home so I could grab my work stuff and K8 would call me when they were on the way to the hospital.

I think Jesse and K8 actually arrived at the hospital before me, but K8 decided to labor a bit with nature and they took their time coming in. When they arrived on the L&D unit I was already dressed in scrubs and had her room set up. Oddly enough, they actually were put in the same room that Judah was born in (this was not my doing, the charge nurse had already assigned the room). It was like déjà vu! Keight walked in all calm and Jesse was grinning and had the second-child-I-am-a-pro-at-this dad look on his face. You could tell he had complete confidence in K8 and what was soon to transpire and he was totally stoked. This was a stark contrast from the eyes I remember when Judah was being born, the eyes that begged me silently to somehow make things better for his wife because he couldn't fix it.


i am earth-mother

K8 was totally chill and relaxed, taking her time to get dressed in our fashionable hospital gowns. In fact, she’s so relaxed and calm that I start thinking “maybe she’s not really in labor” and “she is so going to kill me if I have to send her back home”. Everyone, regardless of if they are staying or not, must answer the novel-long admission questions. I can’t remember if I checked K8 before or after the admit Qs (I’m thinking before), but somewhere during that time I do an SVE (sterile vaginal exam) and record that she’s 5cm.

dude, check out how great adrienne's booty looks! though to be fair, anyone's might look almost as good standing beside kirstie alley. oh is that not kirstie in that pic?

I’m going to try hard not to be too technical here but I’m sure I will fail. There is something we OB folks call a “laboring cervix”. The best way to describe this is silly putty (K8-this section is going to be more for you than anyone, so PLEASE feel free to omit this so the whole world doesn’t think I’m a freak). Although K8’s cervix wasn’t as mushy as I would have expected it to be with the evening primrose, it was definitely a laboring cervix-a little firm to the touch but the more I tried to ascertain the dilation the softer it became and more stretchy [editor/k8's note: you're welcome world. and there plenty more cervix where that came from!].

After doing my admit Qs, exam, etc- I go and call Dr. Carter to let her know she has a patient in L&D. I explain what K8’s exam is, contraction pattern and how Miss Layla is looking on the monitor. Dr. Carter arrives on the unit, pops into K8’s room, and promptly tells her “Well, I can’t keep you if you don’t make any progress and you’re not going to let me do anything to you”. Thanks Dr. Carter! Way to scare the crap out of my patient. K8’s face was priceless! And of course, this is on the heels of me touting Dr. Carter and her practice philosophy to K8 and Jesse and how she will let her patients labor how they desire. Thank goodness Dr. Carter clarified her first statement and it was decided that K8 would have a few hours for her body to “declare herself”. I let K8 and Jesse know that I was available if they needed anything but I also wanted them to have their space and enjoy this awesome moment. And, truth be told, they really didn’t need me at that moment. K8 was breathing through her contractions, leaning up against the same wall in the same spot by the computer that she had with Judah, and Jesse was right there with her, supporting and coaching her through the contractions. Talk about déjà vu!

i. hate. that. wall. there's a pain scale smiley-chart posted above my head. i was full blown frowny at these points and wanting to smack the line and 2 dots off of the pain=1 happy smiley man.

I remember thinking, it’s like a dance. The first time we did this with Judah the principal dancers were K8 and Jesse (and eventually Judah) and I had a guest-star appearance. And with Judah, it was as if we had all learned the steps separately and so it was a little uncoordinated until the very end where it came together beautifully for the finale. This time, with Layla’s birth, it was as if we had practiced numerous times and was choreographed so seamlessly it was surreal. The principal dancers were again Jesse and K8, but this time Lena and I were background dancers in the corps; very minor roles, just cheering Jesse and K8 on, and helping to beautify the main event.

So K8 had her “couple hours” and I came back to check her cervix. Hot diggity, she was 7cm! I have mad L&D skills, and totally knew she was in labor (and inside I’m totally thanking G-d that I didn’t have to send her back home). At this point, I’m kind of feeling useless. Of course I’m doing my RN duties- assessing the FHT (fetal heart tones) and contractions, making sure everything is set up for delivery and all equipment is working properly, but K8 is just such a darn good birthing gal and Jesse is such a great coach that there wasn’t much for me to do but watch, take it all in, and let them know I was there if needed. Occasionally I might have to remind K8 to relax her extremities, but pretty much I just observed as unobtrusively as possible. On, and on a side note, Lena is a VERY good birth photographer. I was super impressed that not only did she manage not to faint (although she was grey a few times) she also somehow managed to make me look much slimmer than I really am in the pictures. Bless you Lena!

getting my port put in. not sure why i was smiling at 6 cm. i don't remember smiling at all for those last few hours. my theory when examining this super flattering picture is that i am happy because i just swallowed jonah.

Alright, here it’s going to get a little murky because things really started moving and so exact sequence of events and corresponding cervical dilation might not match up exactly. Not too long after I checked K8 her contractions really amped up in intensity. Unfortunately I think she believed the insane pain that accompanied her contractions between 7 and 10 centimeters with Judah were entirely due to the pitocin. So sorry I didn’t warn you K8. With pitocin it’s very black and white: you’re having a contraction or you’re not having a contraction. The intensity is consistent for the duration.

Without the use of “vitamin P” (as it is referred to on L&D), there is a natural rise and fall to the contraction. It slowly builds and the pressure is felt first, the peak of the contraction is the worst and you’re pretty sure you just want to die, and then the pain gradually recedes and you can breathe again. However, at the peak of the contraction and until it subsides, the pain is every bit as intense as if you were on pitocin. It seemed like K8 was not quite prepared for that and so I could see her struggling to take that in while laboring through her contractions. It didn’t take long for her to absorb this fact and regroup and master her contractions once again. Another huge change with Lalya’s birth is that she actually did most of the tough laboring in the bed this time. With Judah she leaned up against the wall and that was very much her zone. But with Layla she found side lying (and at one point she was almost prone-well, as much as you can be with a nine month pregnant belly) to be her position of choice. Jesse was right there with her, rubbing her back or feet.


this was when it got INTENSE. i had just barfed and adrienne putting the cool towel on my head may have been all that saved me from grim death

K8 was moaning rhythmically with her contractions. I swear this is why many nurses and doctors try to talk their patients into epidurals, because, heck, if someone is moaning they obviously need pain medication and who wants to listen to someone moaning in pain if we can stop it?! In reality, this rhythmic moaning serves a couple purposes. One, it helps keep good oxygenation to both mom and baby because mom isn’t holding her breath and tensing with pain. Two, it becomes almost meditative and allows the woman to get into a zone which helps her cope with the contraction and not be consumed by it. K8 was in that place.

I could tell K8 was getting close to delivering. I performed an SVE again and she was 8cm, but her membranes were still intact (aka Layla still had a swimming pool). Around this time, K8 started bringing up an epidural. Let the inner turmoil begin!

As K8 and I had previously discussed, she was going to give unmedicated birth a chance again, but, if she felt she had hit her limit the epidural was just fine. It has been my experience that when a woman who has successfully had an unmedicated birth starts asking for an epidural, birth will occur in about 30 minutes or less. When K8 was in between contractions I explained that it was possible that all she needed was her water to break and she would be complete (10cm) and could push. Layla was already very “low” in K8’s pelvis so we were just waiting on rupture of membranes (ROM) and complete dilation. K8 consented to artificial ROM (I think after having an ESP conversation with Jesse because looks were traded back and forth before she said yes) and I went to fetch Dr. Carter and her amnihook [editor/k8's note: BAHAHAHAHA "amnihook!"].

not the first time this pic has been posted. but the first since i have known it is called an amnihook. also, this pic is so action-packed. and hot.

Dr. Carter ruptured K8’s amniotic sac, rechecks her and K8 is what we call a “rim”. This means the cervix is 9.75cm but there is the tiniest bit of cervix left all the way around. At this point K8 is no longer discussing the epidural, she is adamant about getting one. Here’s where the inner turmoil really kicks in. As a nurse, I am obligated to do what my patient requests (provided it’s not dangerous to the patient). For example, if K8 had said she didn’t want an IV that day, I would not have been allowed to put an IV in. If I did, I would be guilty of assault. So, as her nurse, my mission was clear-get K8 an epidural. However, as a fellow unmedicated laborer, I also knew that delivery would be in a few short moments and that K8 would probably berate herself later when she realized how close she truly was to the end.

I started running IV fluids in preparation for K8’s epidural (epidurals lower the BP so we give lots of fluid to prevent it from getting too low) and I had to explain to K8 that I would do my best to get her an epidural, but the reality was we probably would not make it in time. When K8 heard that news, I saw a fleeting shadow of a look of panic. She had another contraction in which I could tell she was involuntarily bearing down and beginning to push. Dr. Carter checked her again and she was now 10cm. Somehow K8 missed us saying that the first time, and I think she said something to the effect of “I can’t do this anymore”. I explained she didn’t have to, that it was about to be over, and she looked at me kind of bewildered. I said “you can push”, to which she replied “when?”, and we (me, Dr. Carter, and Jesse) said, “NOW”! So K8 pushes through one contraction and says again “I can’t do this” and Jesse, with a huge grin on his face replies, “you are doing it”!

oh. the. pain.

With the next contraction K8 delivered beautiful Miss Layla! Once again, K8 did an amazing job laboring and birthing another miracle. This time though, she was the experienced mother who truly needed little guidance and delivered with every bit of grace and panache as before. And this time, there was no complicated repair to get in the way of her and Miss Layla bonding.

my thoughts: "i gave birth to a hairless pug." layla's thoughts: "find a happy place, find a happy place"

I have said it before, and I will say it again. I am truly BLESSED to know Jesse and K8 Dukes. My life has been enriched by you both. Thank you two, again, for letting me be part of something so sacred and wonderful!

i like her.


riding off into the sunset


3 chicas. we did it!

keight here. we LOVE adrienne! seriously, she is so fantastic at her job. her knowledge, experience, bedside manner, empathy and communication are just perfect. she takes every negative encounter, task or thought that a laboring woman could be distracted by and efficiently moves, talks or magics it away so that the mother can be laser-focused on what she is doing and nothing else. she is so gentle and comforting and reassuring, but she will NOT let you give up, back down or stop believing in yourself. i suppose we could have given birth to our kids without her, but we are so flipping glad we didn't have to-- and hopefully will never have to! thank you adrienne!

p.s. if you are an expectant mom on the south side of ATL, let me know, you may be birthing at her hospital and could possibly have her at your birth too!


read my version of layla's birth

3.02.2011

finding my frenzy

if anyone out there was missing this blog while i was on maternity leave, then you should probably cross your fingers that raechel at finding my feet doesn't do a blog post about how to jump off of bridges. because, if my past behavior is any indication, i'll be flying 9.8 newton-meters per second toward terra-firma within minutes of her post and won't be blogging much from then on.

see, i'm a fan. i straight up LOVE her blog. it's got it all: jesus, photography, sewing, adorable kids, wit, design, etsy and more. i follow tons of blogs, but hers has been at the tip top in my heart for over a year now. it's one of those, i know we would be besties if i could ever meet you in real life situations. see also: tina fey (whom i might be married to if we could just get around to meeting).

through a sewing twist of amazingatude, raechel actually found MY blog and eventually even linked to it on hers. let me tell you about that day, friends. i was just scrolling along her most recent post and i looked over under her blogroll. our blog was listed there. um, did you catch that?!?! i literally got the same feeling that i used to get at the start of every volleyball game in college: a little nauseous, a little sweaty, and about 10 million butterflies doing swooping kamikaze maneuvers in my stomach. i was also 7 months pregnant and almost shot layla out right that second.

only jesse and lena had a grasp on how much i loved her blog at that point so they were the immediate recipients of the following email (this is slightly embarrassing, but less so(?) because it was 6 months ago and i can distance myself from the screwballs-version of myself who wrote it):

oh you know, there is our blog, on the same list as MADE, NieNie and MckMama.

LOSING MY SHIT.

i took a screenshot so that i'd have proof after she has to delete me off of there because of my foul language.

hyperventilating

the arrow is mine, not raechel's.

so yup. i love her. then it won't surprise you to hear how much i love her tutorials, shopping recommendations, recipes, fabrics and all else. the ratio of projects she suggests to those that i try is high. and i have yet to be disappointed. a smattering:

let's see, first there was her leggies tutorial. i think i waited 2 hours before heading to target and buying 12 pairs of socks to make my own. i have since made about 40 pairs (exaggeration) for layla and now sell them on etsy.

then there was her rundown of favorite etsy sellers wherein she profiled the pattern shop, heidi & finn. i made it about 10 minutes from reading her post to completing the checkout on etsy for 3 of their patterns. this one worked out SO well because when i commented on her blog about buying them and then posted the results on here, we became bloggy sewing buddies (as opposed to the "real" buddies we are now. in my head at least).

my latest was taking her family's christmas bleu-est of blue cheese appetizer recipe and making it for us. for dinner. it was all gone in 2 sittings by 2 people. yikes. if you have a thing for blue cheese, or sustenance of any kind, TRY THIS RECIPE. forever bleu.

her pics are way better. always. i never stood a chance though: note that our nice camera is IN the picture instead of TAKING it. my photographer's eye chose cameraphone for this shot instead.

this isn't one of those recipes on a blog that disappoints. for example: one night i made the crock pot steel cut oats according to a recipe on another blog that i follow. i was supposed to wake up in the morning to delicious hearty oats. instead, i got to sample the fare i would dine on if i got unplugged from the matrix. Runny McGruelYuckerson.

but not raechel's recipe. she is 100% trustworthy in my experience ripping her off taking inspiration from her. so much so that i was about 2 seconds away from ripping all the carpet up in our house with my bare hands just to achieve a piece of the amazingness she and her hubby made here, but alas i was 37 weeks pregnant and fell asleep instead.

*(i started writing this post on 1/6/11. i could add about 5 other inspirations i have gleaned from raechel's blog since then. but i wont. i feel a restraining order coming on)*

one more hilarious example:

as you know, i STINK at anything style-related. i can barely dress myself and not look like an escapee from american eagle's 2002 clearance mannequin depot of horrors. so having a baby girl made me even more nervous: another chick's clothes to be in charge of, SCADGE! but i took myself by surprise a little when i put together this outfit for layla when she was just a few weeks old. i was thinking this might actually be sort of cute and coordinating, but not traditional or too girly.

oh my gosh her poor skin was so bad back then.

just as i am reaching around to pat myself on the back for this outfit it hits me: every one of these things was found, made, or stolen from raechel. leggies: idea and tutorial taken. headband: i made it as a knock off version of her cutie pie, hazel's version. necklace onesie: straight up made by and given to layla as a birthday gift from raechel (along with a gorgeous chenille burp cloth and some magical travelling pants whose inception almost made me pee mine).

so of course. "my" awesome style moment wasn't mine at all. i was just channeling raechel. if you haven't taken the hint yet, i think you should go check out her blog NOW! if you do not LOL at her recent post about her son's unforseen haircut , then you and i can never be friends. but i don't need any more friends anyway now that i have raechel. okay, totally joking. nobody get uneasy.

moral of the story: i am a crazypants stalker. no wait. that's not right. the moral is, step out of those bloggy shadows, folks, you never know who you could end up being buddies with! (you're next, tina fey! unless that sounds threatening.)

**to the christine who commented yesterday about wanting a boppy cover made, just email me at putapuredukes (at) gmail (dot) com and we'll work out the details. that goes for anyone else too!**

3.01.2011

another unskinny bop

another person's account of layla's birth story is coming soon. i didn't have time to post it yesterday because i got a custom sewing order from a long lost high school friend. she is an interior designer in DC and got in touch with me on facebook over christmas break when her current seamstress starting charging stupidly high rates for custom work. she had seen my carseat cover before and after pictures on FB (hells, yeah i posted them there too, i will brag about that project at the drop of a hat...best believe dat.) and wanted to see if i could make a tablecloth for one of her clients. well i did. it was a huge beast of an endeavor. you'll have to take my word for it because i only took one quick cell phone pic which i now can't find.

well my friend wanted a baby gift for her friend's new little boy. she asked if i could make a boppy cover. can. i. make. a. boppy. cover!?!?! come on! clearly she's not a blog devotee. i sent her a pic of the one i made for lay-lay and asked if she wanted hers to be two-toned as well. she actually wanted two toned and personalized.

i have used my friend tami's embroidery machine for two projects thus far: my mother in law's christmas gift and an order of jewelry rolls for a bride who wanted plain black bags with aninitial on them. both undertakings nearly killed me. i am not gifted with the embroidery robot. plus i think machine embroidery sometimes looks too overworked and finished on some projects. so we went with a hand stitched fabric-letter cutout approach instead for this personalization. i LOVE how it turned out.

maega picked out the fabrics from my meager supply of boy-friendly yardage (layla has straight taken over up in here!) and here are the results. the bleached out-looking splotches of the fabric are there because my pillow insert actually has a pattern of white bubble all over it and they show through in this lighting. and i decided that fabric background is wee-slightly cuter for picture-taking and showing off sewie-goodness than is my crusty coffee table or crumby countertop. and by "decided" i mean "stole the idea from my friend merran."

the fabrics together are making my eyes cross when i try to read the name here. i don't think it does that in real life.

i hand-stitched around each letter with embroidery floss for extra charm (hello, time-consumer!). i made the letters a little smaller than i could have because i got nervous that they'd all be crammed in there with a 7-letter name, two of whom are the fatties W and M. i'll go big next time. or go home.

this was a new feature that i did not include on layla's: the zipper cover. sometimes when i want to flip mine over and have the zipper-side fabric up, i feel bad because her little head is laying (haha, her head is always LAY-ing) on the rough zipper. so little matthew will benefit from our experience

my favorite part: you wont always find these on home-made boppy covers, but they are the real deal, my people. i believe this is a called a yoke or a saddle in the sewing world (or perhaps i am thinking of livestock terminology, who knows?). this middle panel is just like the official boppy ones and makes a flat surface to rest flush against your waist rather than a tapered one that you'd get with just two big pieces of fabrics sewn together. this is a high-class operation i am running here, y'all folks.

i might just have to make layla another cover with her name on it because i love this idea so much. plus about 2 hours after she was born, my IV ripped out and i bled a little bit on hers. it was okay at first because the red matched the 2 fabrics, but now all the red cells have died and it's just murder-trial-evidence-brown. not the best for baby couture. bum out.