Whole(30). Lotta Love?

I need advice. 

Whenever anyone starts a social media post like that, I swear I can hear the floodgates slam open and the water start its torrential rush toward the inquirer. "SHE IS SOLICITING ADVICE! WE MUST MAKE OUR VOICES KNOWN."

I love it when my friends crowd-source information, advice, and recommendations this way. As a reader, I make sure to throw my two cents around like I'm allergic to copper (sweet joke, right?). On the other side of that coin [which I just made an excellent joke about],  I have previously chosen a pediatrician, paint colors, clothing, restaurants, movies and a dentist based on the advice that I have asked folks for over the internet.

Today I need y'alls advice on a new topic...

BUT!!!

And it's a very big but that I need you to keep in touch with. Haha, she said  "touch" and "but."

BUT I really only want the advice of folks who have actually tried the exact thing I am wondering about.

That thing is the Whole30 eating plan/diet/program/reset/detox whatever you call it.

I love all your brains out, but please oh please don't get tangential here and start recommending OTHER stuff (supplements/lifestyles/books). I'm really only wanting to hear from folks who have actually tried and/or completed a Whole30 round or more or who have gone off sugar/dairy. 

I am so late to this party, I know, which I am taking as a good thing since there should be lots of experience to draw from.

Basically I eat crap. Wait, not literally--excepting this one time when I thought I had mustard on my arm and I licked it off and then was like, "Hey, it's 10am and I havent had mustard today," and realized it was my five-day-old-baby Judah's poop stain. #winning--I just eat garbage food MUCHLY of the time.

I eat a lot of processed, refined, sugar-laden, fake food food. I know this isn't good for me, uh-doy. No American can honestly say they don't know what a healthy plate of food should look like. But it's just easier in the small moments to make the fast/easy/unhealthy choice.

From what I gather (haven't read the book yet), Whole30 is about cutting all the processed garbage out (and legumes and whole grains too, weirdly) cold turkey for a month.  I hear it's like drug rehab and the first few days SUCK as your body is craving all the turd-food you are used to shoving in i

But hopefully you feel such a huge positive change in energy/mood/skin/BMs/overall once you are clean of those little addictions that it convinces you that you don't need that stuff. Not forever. I'm  liking that it isn't a lifestyle plan you do forever (because no I could not), nor is it a "diet," but rather just a temporary rehab program where you get rid of everything that could be causing issues and then afterward if you like where you are, you start adding back in food groups to see what the real culprit may be.

Am I describing that right? That's my brain's idea of Whole30

Reasons I'm considering it:

-I've never eaten real food for that long of a span. That is depressing. I wanna see what I feel like on things that didn't need too much messing with to become food.

-I just feel crappy. Tired, moody, sluggish, bloated, BLAH. Granted, I do have a 5 month old who is nursing around the clock and am adjusting to working life with 3 kids, so some of this stuff might be just a fact of life for this phase I'm in. But maybe not. (I also have hypothyroidism and have since 8th grade, and supposedly diet can really help that too).

-Like I mentioned before--I lost all my pregnancy weight the first week home from the hospital and gained it all back inactual fat in the next three months. That sucks and I do want to lose a few pounds (not rushing anything weight-related though because like I have also mentioned: I hold 10-15 lbs until I stop nursing which I am hanging on strong to this time around).

-FACE FACE FACE This last pregnancy and ever since having Noa my skin has been dreadful. Literally: full of the dreads. I've always had a hateful complexion (so bad that I wrote a one act screenplay about it one time), but this is beyond even teenage levels. It's not acne...it's ACKne! (Yall--Noa was up from 1-4am last night and I had two coffees today and I can see my eyeballs pulsing...forgive me these jokes). I hear sugar and dairy can have an adverse affect on zit levels in some people and at this point I'm ready to try anything.

-I have a girl crush on @LittleHipSqueaks and she is doing her second Whole30 and I think I got ensorcelled (best word ever) by her Instagram feed and want to pose he. #KeepinItReal

Ok so here's me cracking open a single floodgate just a smidgling to ask these questions of folks who've been there:

0. If you HAVENT done one and are interested, might you want to do one along with me? Because accountability and group shame-avoidance can be useful.

1. Have you done a Whole30? How did it go? If not, have you done a dairy/sugar fast? How was that?

2. Would you say that reading the book beforehand is crucial? Cheepo McBeepo here is wondering if I can [vegan coconut] fudge it.

3. Specific followups to #1: Did you see noticeable changes in your energy level/mood/skin/weight? 

4. Was it hard as mess to stick to? Was it worth it? Did you go back to your same habits or did it change anything permanently for you?

5. What was harder: giving up the foods you had to or planning ahead to not get caught in a bind?

Alright ye gates, FLOOD! Please give me the brutal truth of your experiences! (PS I changed the comment section...hopefully this works better for the many of you who have told me you had issues. Let me know.)