7.02.2010

so happy so sad

it's 4:45 on friday 7/2. i just got the call that i have half expected for several years now any time one of my parents calls at a weird time. i was laying down reading and jesse answered my phone in the other room. thanks to our awesome cell coverage i found out that my fred had gone to heaven by hearing jesse yell, "hello? genia, can you hear me? no, keight is taking a nap, what's going on? who died?"
.
without really thinking, i yelled back, "it's fred," like i was helping jesse understand the call rather than absorbing what was going on. then i jumped up and grabbed the phone from him as my mom put my dad on. all i could think about was that i hoped my mom wasn't hysterical and that i was relieved the past few years of watching him slowly fall apart and wondering, "is this it?" were finally over.
.
my dad started telling me what all happened; from fred getting admitted to the hospital yesterday with a little pneumonia and heart trouble to the doctor's being surprised that he died so suddenly when it seemed that he would be fine and bounce back as always. the last thing he told my dad was, "get down here to this hospital right now and get me out of here." he was always a flight risk whenever he had to be in hospitals or the rehab facilities after surgeries. he hated making other people look after him and refused to become a burden. the last thing he told his sister, martha, was, "just let me do what i want to do."
.
well, i think he just went and did exactly that.
.

so dapper, such a stud. he had food poisoning at my wedding and was 91, but he wouldn't have missed it

that's when i started crying. so happy for him that he's going through registration and orientation up there right this minute (fred parks, incoming freshman, heaven: class of eternity). so sad that judah will never experience how cool he was firsthand or get to really have him for a grandpa like i did.

i love the look on fred's face here looking at his youngest great grandchild. this is on his 95th birthday last october
.

speaking of awesome looks on his face...check out that smile. brought to you by dentures and love
.
so happy that he is freaking with jesus right now and actually can see his glory and finally understand what the heck it was all about. so sad that i won't get to hug him again.
.

twin 3 year olds, a 2 year old and a newborn. what a great great grandpa
.
so happy that he is reunited with both of the wives he had to bury much sooner than he ever planned on and that somehow that isn't awkward at all (i used to stress out as a kid over which wife he would run to first and how it would hurt the other one's feelings. i later learned that it was jesus he would run to above all). so sad that his and my daughter's lives will have never overlapped.
.

that would be me and my brother and our fred and mano (my dad's mom), circa 1988, making fred 74, damn he looked good.

so happy that he's not falling apart bit by bit anymore and that he is even stronger, more beautiful and more at home right now than he ever was while here (which says a lot since he was so handsome and lived such a full, happy life here). so sad because i miss him and his laugh already.
..

when we were there for father's day 12 days ago, fred asked if judah could have candy. it was tiny snickers so we said yes and i grabbed one out of the bag and let him have a bite. fred was indignant, "keight, i wanted to give it to him." i was so touched and tickled. how dare i deny him his god given grandparental right to give the child candy. we set judah up for another round in his lap


SO SO SO very happy that on pretty much zero notice we decided to go out to his apartment on father's day to meet my parents to drop of judah for his weekly visit with them instead of meeting in peachtree city like we were planning on because it would be such a treat for fred. it's like a 2 hour drive one way and we never go out there without tons of planning because it's so far from my and my parents' houses and kind of depressing (old folks independent-living/loneliness compound). i think we've been there 2 or 3 times in 2 years. so happy that the very, very last thing we both said to each other was "i love you." so sad that the second to last thing he said was, "i hope i live long enough to meet that little girl."

.

i could be wrong, but i am thinking this is the last picture ever taken of him. i KNOW i'm not wrong that this isn't the last i'll ever see of him.

oh man. he was 95 freaking years old and never lived under anyone's care but his own, i should be so lucky. he loved jesus; hated squirrels. i love him so much and am so lucky to have had him. i am so happy for him; so jealous of him. i miss him already but don't begrudge him a minute of time spent where he is right now. i am crying, but i am so so so so so happy.
.
see you later, gramps.

*snapshot of everything i've ever blogged about fred before here.

7 comments:

  1. What a beautifully written tribute to Fred. I got teary reading it and looking at all the photos, especially the one with Genoa. How blessed you were to have had them both be in your live. You never had to doubt with them that they loved you fully and supported you always. God is loving on Fred right now, welcoming Him to eternal life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh keight...man, how wonderful to have had fred for 95 years. how hard to not have him for more. grandparents certainly are grand.

    ReplyDelete
  3. so sorry that Fred passed, but we're very thankful you saw him recently and that he's in heaven. our prayers are with your family.

    ReplyDelete
  4. awwww....i'm so sad that he's gone. he reminded me so much of my grandpa who passed away 3 years ago. i ADORED him and still miss him so much.
    so glad fred is in heaven, but i know he'll be missed!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Keight, this is such an amazing and awesome tribute, I am crying like a baby, especially since I knew how much you loved him...it shows so much, and your special kind of love comes out so dearly here.

    We hope to be the same kind of grandparents for Judah and baby girl, but know there's no replacing a Fred.

    Our prayers are with you and your extended family. You and Fred show how much family can mean no matter how they come into your life. I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So sorry, friend. We love you and can't wait to meet him in heaven!

    ReplyDelete
  7. So sorry for your loss Keight. He obviously had much love in his life.

    ReplyDelete