well it's been 231 miles since i exposed myself at a professional sporting event and decided i was tired of feeling like trash about my health and my body. with a surprising amount of self-awareness i said in that post that i would just try to become a runner and see if i could stick with that before i added in nutritional changes and other forms of exercise.
you guys, craze of all crazies: i am a runner now. the slowest, most ungainly one in the northern hemisphere? why, yes (i still have those chubby antarctic penguins beat...my waddle is faster!), but i can run 20 miles a week with no problem--and actually enjoy it. jesse and i are running a 15k this weekend which will be my farthest EVER...until it is eclipsed my our half-marathon training runs and finally the 13.1 race itself.
but here's the thing. i have maintained this new habit surprisingly well (for me), but as a "reward" to myself for this added positive hobby, i have been really letting it rip on the nutrition. to the point where i started to wonder if i maybe had a fast food addiction.
does that sound melodramatic? hell yes. but red flags start flying up when you polish off a chick-fil-a spicy sandwich for lunch and all you are thinking about on the way home is how to talk your husband into romantic big macs for dinner. isn't that how drug addicts are described? always looking for the next hit? yeah, that's me and trans fat. oh, the shame!
so i have compensated the running with way more unhealthy eating habits than i ever had before i took up running. it was a lazy and indulgent way of saying, "well i'm sticking with the running, i deserve a little something to be easy and fast and fun...for about 10 meals a week!" ugh.
so here we go on phase 2. like i said, food is my main squeeze. i will never be able to go all-paleo or zero-sugar or any extremity like that. leave me 5 extra pounds and a fried snickers at the carnival and a chili cheese dog every time i'm near the varsity. that i can handle.
but i can (and should) be able to tackle embarrassingly small goals like, "oh, hey, eat A vegetable today!" or, "maybe try not eating fast food this week."
so that's where we are. i am cooking at home and making a seriously conscious decision to just try when it comes to diet, to be aware of what's going in and to make it the best i can. rather than just squeezing my eyes shut, and shoveling in waffle fries and acting like it all cancels out because i ran 3 miles. no more.
there will always be a place in my tummy and my heart (the arterial regions) for chickfila and even that poisonous mcdonalds. but as a very rare treat not something that is my post-run daily due.
i lost 10 lbs and gained a ton of confidence over this last 6 months of running. i am excited to see how much better i feel physically and mentally by improving my nutrition.
is this doesn't work, i am going to rage-eat my way through truett cathy's entire bounty.
It's a hard habit to break K8! I have faith, especially as well as you have been running, that you will totally rock the healthy lifestyle all the way!
ReplyDeleteMe vs. the drive thru is a daily battle here. I blame it on pregnancy. This little woman in me flat-out DEMANDS spicy chicken sandwiches. I was doing really well until McDonald's started up their monopoly game, and now it's just embarrassing to empty my garbage while I fill up the car with gas; I'm literally shoving fast food bags inside other fast food bags so that I don't look like such a pig. But I'm not gonna lie: I'm super excited my mom is going coming in town tonight because she doesn't have chickfila where she lives so the next 5 days are going to be a total binge-fest.
ReplyDelete@emily, thanks for the vote of confidence! i definitely feared putting it our here for anyone to see and hold me accountable with!
ReplyDelete@amy. bahahaha YES! such shame over the fact that the monopoly game legitimately draws me in. poison plus gambling! what a perfect combo
After the St. Jude 1/2, I'm already planning my second race for March (another 1/2). This makes me sound like a really awesomely fit person. That is a myth. Truth: If I don't have a race to train for, I won't run. And if I don't run, I'll have to eat a lot less food. Once I realized that, it only seemed logical to keep training for half marathons for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteI. am. there. I keep wondering why the scale is not budging/going up even though I'm running so much (and why the muffin top is seeming to rise rather than deflate)... um HELLO?!! I've tried to convince myself it's because I'm gaining so much muscle. Um, no. I just love bacon too much! All I know is, I must not look like a marshmallow running the 1/2. The actual race?? Pshh. Trying to impress my new race buddies who I just met IRL the day before?! Yep. That's my motivation! ;)
ReplyDeleteYOU GO GIRL! gosh, i am so proud of ya for taking this next step...and i'm totally going with ya on this one. i use my high metabolism to say "oh yeah, i can eat those donuts and be OK" and then just sit there afterwards & not gain a pound.
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