unwritten

OMG i have crushing blogger guilt, you guys. 

it hit me full on when one of my stupidly pretty friends told me last week, "i noticed that you dont share as much lately  on your blog as you used to." and i was all, "bitch please!"

it's true though. 

while i do have a few pretty sah-weeeet things coming up to post about, i just dont vent here on the deep stuff like i used to. and if you really love me then you know thats a good thing. 

it's good because it means i am living in community and working a lot of my junk out with human faces (i almost typed "feces" there...ha! havent tried that form of therapy yet) and so i dont have as much of a need to unleash all of it here in this particular season.

but the thing that i love about this "space" (i've been watching a lot of "biggest loser" lately and jillian's vernacular, if not her calorie-burning,  is creeping in) is that it's kind of whacked out and all over the place and subject to fits and starts and periods of massive productivity and crippling lethargy and EPIPHANY OMG YOU GUYS I AM MY BLOG!

whenever i have to fill something out for an advertiser and they ask what category my blog is i usually spend like 10 minutes fiddling with the drop down menu because, ugh, "define me!!!" (name that sitcom!). 

because depending on the day, i am a food blog, a craft blog, a home decorating blog, a spirituality blog, a humor blog, a family blog, a political blog, a bitch, a lover, a child a mother, a sinner a saint...no wait. i've veered. 

and so in a just perfectly tailor-made pun: LIKE my blog recently, i am unwritten. sometimes my tries are outside the lines, oh oh. i am just staring at the blank page before me...

i might need to step away from the light pop channel on my radio, yall. (but for real, i might dream of breaking it down with a black gospel choir in an elevator like this.) p.s. this song is so saccharine but so kick ass. i dont even care.

i guess what i'm saying is, i do this as an expression of me, and while i'd like to say it's JUST for me, it's not. i want to make yall laugh, i want you to like my kids (for the love, please tell me that pic of layla on the previous post was as cute as i thought it was!), to think jesse's hot, to puzzle through tricky jesus things WITH me. i care about yall and i hate the thought of making you bored or letting you down. 

if you like this blog, you'd probably like me in person. but just like my IRL friends know, i'm not good at keeping a steady pace. i'm a fluctuator. i am the fluctukeightor (that looks like such a mean german cuss word!) and sometimes you hear from me 5 times a week and then sometimes i disappear.

i havent gone anywhere or decided to slow down the bloggy crazy train. it's just a slow season. i'm probably just busy wearing my gaucho pants frolicking in puddles with an assortment of kids from all different ethnicities right now.

i'm sure i'll brb.

thanks for being here. for reals x 1000.