TOMORROW, fools!

The fridge is packed with meat and produce. There is all sort of hippie nonsense in my cupboards (coconut manna! homemade ghee!). My intestines are quivering with anticipation over the impending fiber onslaught.

Our Whole30 starts tomorrow. THIS IS NOT AN APRILS FOOLS' DRILL, PEOPLE.

I said I had been easing in to the program (mostly avoiding dairy/sugar/grains/soy/alcohol) so that the transition wouldn't be so rough and cold-turkey (organic, pastured turkey, duh of course). That is until this weekend when I started feeling the walls of dietary freedom closing in and decided to let myself off the chain for a few meals.


I had ice cream and cake on Saturday night as well as lot of rice. I woke up Sunday feeling straight hungover despite not drinking any alcohol. It was brutal. Sunday night Jesse and I went on a date out to use up a meal deal we had bought that was set to expire in April. Again: no restraints (a beer, dessert, grains). I woke up yesterday and had the worst nose-itch allergy attack of my life. I take Claritin every day anyway for seasonal allergies that started in my 20's and was fully dosed yesterday and STILL the histamines brutalized me like a One Direction mob.

So I am already wondering if I'm onto something and one of these food groups is a total sneaky frenemy trying to destroy me from the inside. If that was the reaction upon adding it back after just a week or so avoiding it, it's kind of shocking to think that my body had just learned to live with that kind of irritation (since I never noticed this kind of flare up before). 


This morning was a little farewell tour (via my Instagram):

My #whole30 starts tomorrow. One venti cup of steaming candied caffeine before I go. A massive bender before rehab is always advisable, right? (sat here taking sad selfies and singing "goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one for me"  repeatedly à la Michael Scott in his bathrobe sampling iTunes after Carol breaks up with him at you do). Tomorrow I'll either drink it black or snort the grounds.#GoodbyeStarbucks #April15Whole30

Someone take me to Benihana with m'broworkers to cheer me up

Time to veg up. Tonight we will weight ourselves, take some sexy (not) BEFORE pics and measurements and brace ourselves for getting clean. See you in May, everything!

If you know of any good Whole30 instagram accounts I need to be following, please leave the @handle in the comments. Or any other advice/recipes you wish to equip me with before I set sail on the sea of gut excellence. Godspeed, my friends.

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