i was holding his arms so i was up by his head and i have to say i was totally crying right along with him with my face buried in the paper liner. but when it was over and i trotted the little man outside (where we take him whenever he gets a oucheroni and it almost always makes him immediately stop crying) he was already over it and was all, "um, why am i naked in the parking lot, mom?"
we were looking at the list of developmental marks he "should" have hit by now and in the future and were kind of cracked up. at 15 months he should be able to build a 2-block tower and at 4 years he should be able to build a 7-block one. who is regulating the size of the blocks? i would have a hard time stacking 7 non-interlocking little legos on top of each other. does that mean i am developmentally behind for a 27 year old?
but it said on there that at 12 months he should be able to use "ma ma" and "da da" correctly to identify us. uhhhhh...well he will throw out a da-da on total purpose if jesse isn't paying attention to him but he only uses ma-ma in situations that have nothing to do with me. the doctor said that really he should have a ton of syllables going on right now (check) and 2 "words" that he actually uses pretty accurately, which are almost always ma-ma and da-da. well, in those terms, yes. he has da-da and cuh-cuh for cat. awesome. jesse and the freaking cat are #1 and #2 in his life.
i always say i don't care about milestones and comparing and all that, but, dang, when the doctor says he "should" be doing something that he isn't yet, it's a little nerve-wracking. is he "delayed?" is it because we feed him pops for breakfast? is it because of all that bleu cheese i ate when i was pregnant? you know what, i bet he will be talking by the time he's 5. how about i don't worry until then?
one hilarious thing on the list was that at 9 months babies should be "jargoning." i immediately understood what they meant; you know, like, babbling. but jesse was like, "what, do they mean like medical or mechanical jargon? i'm pretty sure judah never rambles on and on about the manifold drive shaft." i don't know how serious he was, but i was laughing hard plus the word "jargoning" is WAY underused in my life right now.
speaking of jargoning: i lovingly pointed out to jesse while waiting for the doctor that he was sporting a ballgina. this was a term i had coined (though probably not the first one to use it) the night before while watching the biggest loser finale. mike, the formerly 526 lb winner who lost 268 lbs came out in skinny jeans, a thin, skin-tight tee shirt and a huge bedazzled skull belt buckle. his jeans were waaaaaaaay too tight and the crotch so high that he was sporting testicular cleavage: a ballgina. well jesse was offended when i noticed his shorts had ridden way up and said, "hey look you have a ballgina just like big fat mike." i think he was thinking that i was calling him fat (or formerly fat?) because he lashed back, pointing at my jeans' zipper area that naturally folds up and out when you sit down, "so what? look at your vagenis!" it was glorious. we spent the next few minutes rudely gesturing back and forth at each other while grabbing our new parts. too bad there's no milestone for awesomely inappropriate hybrid words; judah is WAY ahead of the game there. you're welcome, son.
no ballginas or vagenises here. just pure, sweet baby booty