happy blogiversary

that's right people, one year ago today we created this blog. it started out as a way to let people know what was going on with the pregnancy in more detail than facebook allows and to have a place to record our thoughts about impending parenthood. one year later and 128 posts later and the blog has become...something else. something a little more than just a baby news blog.

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just what it is now is a question i have been wrestling with. at first this was almost entire for us and our families. then it was for judah. then we got more and more people who liked to read it and it's sometimes for them now too.

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i remember when i decided that i wanted to do a post every day. at first it was stressful and felt like a weight hanging over my head of just another to-do list item, and i almost quit entirely. after a week or two of pushing through i noticed that i was really enjoying it, even if it was just a lazy picture post. it's like if i can get even one memory, anecdote, gripe or idea into the blog, then i have successfully expunged it from my mental inbox and made more room for sanity. it's a digital pensieve (harry potter ref.)

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i have had several charitable--if delusional-- souls tell me that they really like the blog and that i have a strong "voice" and that i should really push to get it "out there" more and that i could be a famous mommyblogger (gird up your loins). while i truly don't think this will/could ever happen since i don't have any wisdom to impart or any real writing skills to even fake wisdom with, i have thought about direction. there are definitely ways of networking a blog hardcore so that you get a ton of followers and readership very fast (mainly using twitter and following a bunch of other random people's blogs from what i can tell). i don't want to prostitute putapuredukes out to the world just to get more hits. but i do want the blog to mean something to someone.

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so here we are. i do this lots for me, but i also LOVE getting feedback and eliciting some kind of response (even if its, "shut up, woman!"). i can tell how good or provocative or stimulating a post is by how many hits i get on the day i post it (google analytics rocks) but comments are really my benchmark for whether a post that means something to someone. i know i never leave a comment on someone's blog just to be nice; they have to have something in there that moves me beyond the lazy comfort of anonymity. now all you shadow-lurkers out there who never comment and don't follow publicly, shame on you, you don't get to complain about what i write because you don't give me feedback.

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so i look at the posts that have the most comments and they seem to be the ones in which i vomit up my jumbled thoughts about real, sometimes hard stuff. obviously those are going to be more engaging to a reader than a picture of judah, but it makes me wonder. this blog is going through an awkward teenage phase of "who am i?." as the main writer (did you notice how jesse disappeared around the 3rd trimester?) i can honestly say i love writing about anything from judah's first apricots to considering divorce in year one of marriage to jesus and evolution (that's right, that post is SO coming) so i'm up for everything.

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so i guess i would love to know what you like about this place? favorite posts? topics? wish there was more/less of something? post ideas?

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leave me a comment if you're feeling bold. don't worry, i am not going to start pandering and jumping through hoops just to make everyone happy or sellout completely. however i do have side bangs now because the mob spoke loudly and demanded them, so...

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i am pretty much in love with every person who takes the time to read about our little family. i am a girl and am therefore insecure so your little picture under "followers," or your comment or even just the occasional drop-in really means a lot to me and makes me feel a tiny bit better about myself and what i am putting out into the world.